this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 163 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Delete and re-download the entire game, but use a 56k modem."

"My God house, the game launched fine! But how did the 56k modem have any effect?"

"It didn't, the reinstall would have worked either way, I just wanted to waste your time as punishment for being stupid."

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's an irq conflict and the lan cable isn't terminated.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't know, it's Ians' cable, why not ask him?

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

why does lan always hog the cables ;-;

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[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 138 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What about port blocking by the ISP? It could be a networking condition!

[–] Skyline969@lemmy.ca 113 points 1 month ago

Which would be useful if telnet didn’t tell us the port is open.

[–] jawa22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 1 month ago

Check the NAT!

[–] notso@feddit.org 98 points 1 month ago

What about 12VHPWR syndrome? Spontaneous GPU power connector inflammation could explain why other games are affected es well...

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 70 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Everyone: what the fuck is he doing

Dr. House: installing NixOS

[–] Custard@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Flakes caused his issue. The user needs more flakes

[–] WILSOOON@programming.dev 34 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I had the exact fucking same thing happen with metal gear rising, except it wasnt the drivers it was the wine config missing a ddl library for, wait for it: a fucking vr support library. A 3d PS3 game that doesnt support vr in any way, needs a vr library to function. Still pissed about that

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

Strong "I'm not printing that greyscale image, you're out of yellow ink!" vibe.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago
[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

A House-like TV show about troubleshooting computer issues would be absolutely fascinating to me and a dozen other people. All along you thought it must be drivers but it turns out that the exact RGB configuration used on the case fans combined with the anime waifu wallpaper caused a slight over-voltage on a RAM chip resulting in game crashes and only Hackerman was brilliant enough to see it.

[–] Vanilla_PuddinFudge 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If you want the dumbass version, you can find videos of influencers without any experiece build computers.

[–] callyral@pawb.social 6 points 1 month ago

i would watch that lol

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I had a minor loading/stuttering issue in games that plagued me for months. Turns out the SATA cable was loose. I had no idea those could BE loose.

[–] Daefsdeda@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

I litteraly have one where the plastic around the gold connectors have come loose, still works after 5 years but once I disconnect the cable, the drive is gone

[–] eighty@aussie.zone 26 points 1 month ago (6 children)

What's the equivalent of "it's never lupus"?

[–] reseller_pledge609@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's never DNS, until you don't check that first.

[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

But it's always DNS

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

"It's never lutris"

[–] nucleative@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

It's never solvable with

sfc /scannow

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

It's never a .NET compatibility issue

[–] gens@programming.dev 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago

Nah it's too often the PSU to actually be the proper equivalent

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[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I recently had a game tell my my NVIDIA driver was out of date by like a year.

Ngl I just ignored it, that's like a 500mb update and I'm just not interested in the time it takes unless something breaks.

[–] ech@lemm.ee 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mate, how do you play any games if 500mb takes too much time?

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Because I already have them and don't need to download them again. 500mb on a mediocre day is like 2 hours.

If you mean online games, I tend not to because they often work poorly. For some strange, totally inexplicable reason that definitely has nothing to do with my terrible internet.

[–] Gold_E_Lox@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 1 month ago (11 children)

dang, sometimes i think my shit is slow, my heart goes out to you.

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[–] ogeist@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How much do you pay? Is it DSL?

[–] Ganbat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have about the same speeds. I'm paying $65/mo, it's 5G, and it's better than every other option around.

[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thats a bummer, $65 is gig speed around me.

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[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

Mobile data. Used to be ADSL, that wasn't faster. I am rural af.

[–] Ansis100@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

I love this comment section

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] IsoSpandy@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago

Still better paru -Syyu --noconfirm

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

It needs more mouse bytes to run.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 month ago

I hate Safe Mode.

[–] Ganbat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago

I had this same fucking situation recently in an issue on GitHub.

It wasn't the drivers.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 6 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Does anyone else get a crazy weird robotic static echoey sound on Arch (CachyOS)? It's like it starts fast then gets slower and more drawn out. It is very sporadic so I haven't been able to record it well. It's happened on a USB headset as well so I know it's not my speakers.

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[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Last time it was the drivers for me was Rage. That was some bullshit...

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