this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2025
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My favourite part has to be the fact that a box of poptarts contains 8 poptarts...
You sound like a knower of the poptart. Please explain to me what they taste like, I have never tried one.
Once every 2-3 years I forget what they're like, see a box on the shelves, and think hey they actually look quite fun.
Then I get it home and the contents look fuck all like the picture on the front, and also it tastes, not bad as such, but disappointing and definitely not worth the calories.
Cancer
From what I've read, we've all eaten cancer in industry meat like pig and cow.
... Poptarts taste like steak?
No, like if cardboard got cancer and covered it in icing. Also the cancer is a sugary filling.
The filling is like a bad taxidermy. You know what it is but it's just not right. Icing is more of the same. The biscuit(?) part is cake flavored cardboard.
Cheap garbage preservative junk food.
It’s trying to be some kind of fruit filled pastry. Imagine the cheapest ingredients you could source, to mass produce as many as possible with the longest shelf life possible. I think they probably come frozen? I haven’t had one since I was a kid like 30 years ago, and that would have been at a friends house because my parents wouldn’t but that crap.
I do eat other frozen type junk food though. Like frozen burritos. So it’s not like it’s beneath me or anything.
You're right about everything except the frozen part. They can just sit in a box in your cupboard because they're basically made of plastic.
Yeah I wasn’t sure on that part. That’s crazy that the filling is shelf stable and keeps.
They are incredibly flammable. Basically just a slab of glucose fructose.
Cardboard
with old jam
You have to buy frosted. You have to toast them. Otherwise they’re just cardboard: you can’t really tell them apart from the box
perfect
After last week's poodle-doping scandal and a Rottweiler disqualified for using non-standard toaster pastries, this good dog might just retrieve the gold in the Pup Tart Stacking category. Impressive showing at the very least.
Have you tried putting stacks of pop tarts down along the beak? I'm sure you could do 4x10 on that aircraft carrier.
“beak” lol you mean “muzzle”?
no i mean "Hangarenshiffeschnozzle".
Derlöngënsniffer
How many pop tarts long is snoot?
The factory hasn't produced enough to finish the measurement yet.
That tracks, I don't think anyone can count high enough anyway
You're doing good work
"'Do you have games on your phone?"
🎶Poptarts on a borzoi You know, you know This is serious 🎶
Someone get this person a Nobel prize.
That’s one long nose. What’s the breed?
Probably some kind of anteater
I've heard tell of a long pig? Could this be it?
Definitely not. Long pig is usually found adrift at sea.
Looks like a borzoi/Russian wolfhound
It's a Borzoi. Narrow dog with a white coat and a hose nose.
Does he get to eat the poptarts afterwards?
J'aime ça des poptarts.
😂
This is the intro to a horror movie. You can't fool me.
Great now it has captured my soul
I had to count them myself to be sure. Checks out.
l o n g b o y e
Bouger moi
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