Fitness

“patience is the absence of expectation” — Shinichi Suzuki

you’re doing everything right. you’re probably worrying too much and prescribing too much. listen to the science and the literature, but also listen to your body. everyone is different. i’ve been lifting for 5 years and bailed out of a 60kg bench press yesterday (tbh higher reps but still; i was embarrassed).

also, comparison is the thief of joy. don’t compare yourself to the guy next to you or the influencers on Instagram or “what’s normal”. the only person you need to try to be better than is you from last week or last month or last year.

trying is the point. trying is progress. discipline is greater than motivation. we all have bad days. but it’s a journey. have a bad day, and go to the gym the next day and celebrate that you made it.

i started when i was 30, and i have been consistent for over 4 years. it pays off eventually, i promise.

Social media and YouTube has skewed gym gains expectations. You are doing great! Good workout and good diet. Maybe rest a bit more like some others lemmings have said.

When u see somebody that really looks fit they probably have been training consistently for 3+ years. Youtube and social media with their 90 days transformations is bullshit. Keep grinding brother!

You haven't been at this even a year. Pure muscle takes time to put on. Have patience and enjoy the process

Slow down. You need more time to recover and rebuild muscle. That's the major factor that changes as you age, it's your recovery time. You're working out like you're 19 (or on peds), and you can do that for even decades to come - but you'll never get out of it what you put into it when you can't recover fully.

Also, 1 year? You're going to apply this to your body for the rest of your life, right? Or you just doing this for a few years, then potato-man land? Results will come over time. Pace yourself. 3-5 days a week, 45min workouts that can go over.

In my opinion one needs to experience lots of different splits and exercises to fully understand what works for them, so be patient, this is the marathon of marathons. It will take time to learn what exercises and rep ranges work best for you.

Also, look into planning out your training schedule longer term, where you plan to go through different cycles and rep ranges. What is your progression scheme? As for being sore, you either aren't training hard enough(do you do rpe or rir?) but most likely your form isn't necessarily bad but you aren't focusing on the muscle you are trying to train.

Deadlifts aren't as dangerous as people want you to believe but form is important. Stiff leg or Romainin deadlift are good too, with slightly less stress but still, watch a bunch of videos on form, keep your back flat, chest wide and up, and pull the weight. Start with some light weight and practice form, just like on everything else.

Do you track your lifts in any way that you can see changes in weights and or reps over time?

Have you actually done an objective comparison?

It sounds like you have a few important goals. One seems to be appearance, another is strength. One of these is probably more important to you, and honestly no judgement, but not having a clear idea of what is important and why can muddle your thinking.

Do you have before photos? If you don't have pictures and measurements you cannot make a good comparison. A good idea would be to take measurements of what you care about, say a one rep max or belt measurement, and then take photos in various poses that show things you care about, say side on to see bulges at the front or front on to see traps. Make sure you know the lighting conditions and time of day so you can compare fairly later on.

That all said, measure what you care about so you can see progress later. You can't ssee progress without comparison and if that is what you want then you need to measure.

An alternative is to consider what kind of person you want to be. Do you want to be someone who regularly exercises? Do you want to be the kind of person who can lift kids without a problem? Do you care about your activity levels when you are 70? These are all different things that have meaning to different people. Working from a values perspective will make you more effective at setting goals and meeting them.

It could be simple overtraining. Are you taking deloads? 8 hrs sleep every night? Drinking lots of water? Slight caloric surplus determined by tracking long term weight trends?

I might suggest to change things up and go for more weight, fewer reps. Look around for a different program and try it for 12 weeks.

As for progress, it’s frustrating to be in a plateau. Consider the progress you have made. You increased dumbbell bench by 50%. You doubled lat pull downs. For context this year my squat went up 4%, my clean 3%.

You didn’t mention squat or deadlift. Those are big muscles. Big anabolic response. Don’t skip leg day!

Muscle takes time. The only thing I really noticed for my muscle building for my first three years was that I lost fat. It sucks mega ass but just keep at it, set small goals and reach them. Unless you’re planning on using steroids it’s not going to come fast.

Are you lifting to failure?

I was in the same boat. No matter what I did, my body wouldn't change for 1+ year. I was taking ISO100 before each workout and a friend told me that's where the issue was. He suggested doubling the scoops if I wanted to put on muscle and I did. It didn't take that long to see things happening and I did make great gains. The guys I was working out with even suggested I had to be doping, even though I wasn't. Then covid.

These days I'm trying to get a routine started again but for cardio so I can be healthy. I just can't seem to find the groove.

Since your focused on composition consider doing keto or low carb. Removing the insulin spikes from your food will give your body more time for recomposition.

Start tracking your skeletal muscle mass with some capacitive scale. They aren't super accurate but enough to get you trend lines.

Do you use a calorie counter? Sounds like you need more calories. When you eat enough calories to build muscle, you get enough protein, at least you have to try really hard not to.