this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 288 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] dm_me_your_boobs@lemm.ee 69 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Right. This was so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Not just a cheap laugh.

[–] masquenox@lemmy.ml 65 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Blacker rhan the void humor.

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 2 years ago

This one is pretty savage too.

These are some of the hardest onion articles I’ve read.

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[–] maryjayjay@lemmy.world 45 points 2 years ago (1 children)

OMG, the signatures at the end. Lol!

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago (3 children)

What's the story with the signatures? Feel like I'm OOTL on that.

Great piece though.

[–] BuddyTheBeefalo@lemmy.ml 29 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I think they signed with wrong names to not get attacked. I can only read Ted Kaczynski.

[–] ours@lemmy.film 13 points 2 years ago

There's the Unibomber for one.

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[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 259 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

“What of the tens of thousands of Palestinian civilians killed before this attack?” some may ask. Our response is simply that we aren’t going to engage with that because it would be too hard. We also won’t be addressing Palestinians living in refugee camps without access to clean water, electricity, or housing. Others may ask, “Isn’t it your responsibility to provide context, particularly on thorny issues such as this one?” To that, we merely say: No, shut up. You’re being annoying.

Damn these guys are good. Managing to satirize the media, take a hands-off approach, and still raise valid points all in a couple paragraphs.

[–] exploding_whale@lemmy.ml 56 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Perhaps some evidence there still is some life in the onion, even if its been sitting in the pantry a little too long and starting to look a little sketchy.

[–] ReplicatedSoda@startrek.website 39 points 2 years ago

The Onion has been killing it recently. They must have gotten new writers cuz they seemed to fall away for awhile. They're definitely back on top now though.

[–] stewie3128@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 2 years ago

Trump admin was a little too insane to satirize effectively, I think. They try to stay playful while biting, with only the occasional blunt headline.

Basically, Trump only deserved single-entendre, and that's not really what they do.

[–] Retrograde@lemmy.world 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I think it's because the cupboard the onion lives in is currently on fire

[–] Jamie@jamie.moe 10 points 2 years ago

Well yeah, they asked the IDF to airstrike their offices in case they have Hamas breeding more terrorists in there.

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[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 213 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Satire is one of the few things in this world that really cuts straight into the absurdity of humanity. I wish the solutions were as easy as pointing out what a clown car this planet is.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 66 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Things, ideas, movements and people are only as important as people make them to be.

If enough people believed that only wearing a sock over your genitals was acceptable ... people would only wear a sock over their genitals.

When you start looking at the world in this light and analyse what we decide on what is important and what is not ..... the world starts to look like a very weird place.

As George Carlin put it ....

"I have as much authority as the Pope ... I just don't have as many people who believe it"

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[–] sadreality@kbin.social 14 points 2 years ago

Until critical mass admits that it is in fact a circus and we are all the clowns, nothing will change.

[–] tocopherol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 207 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Small detail some might miss, one of the editorial board signatures is Ted Kaczynski.

Brilliant paragraph:

“What of the tens of thousands of Palestinian civilians killed before this attack?” some may ask. Our response is simply that we aren’t going to engage with that because it would be too hard. We also won’t be addressing Palestinians living in refugee camps without access to clean water, electricity, or housing. Others may ask, “Isn’t it your responsibility to provide context, particularly on thorny issues such as this one?” To that, we merely say: No, shut up. You’re being annoying.

[–] Glytch@ttrpg.network 29 points 2 years ago

Writing like that is why the Onion is the greatest satire publication in the world.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nice detail on the signature.

Btw the latin they sign off with 'Tu stultus es' is gramatically badly written Latin saying 'You are stupid'.

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[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 158 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] Omega_Jimes@lemmy.ca 136 points 2 years ago

Man every once in a while The Onion demonstrates how satire is supposed to be used. This is remarkable.

[–] jackmarxist@lemmy.ml 132 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This is not a real news article but we'll allow it in this instance because it sheds light on very real issues.

Please refrain from posting non news articles next time.

[–] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago
[–] Amaltheamannen@lemmy.ml 84 points 2 years ago (15 children)

I got permanently banned from /r/worldnews because criticizing Israel is "misinformation"

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 66 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Well, what the fuck were you doing at reddit in the first place?!

[–] Amaltheamannen@lemmy.ml 26 points 2 years ago (6 children)

I've completely replaced reddit with Lemmy on my phone, I still sometimes check some bigger subreddits when on my pc. Or subs like HFY that has no equivilant.

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[–] AdamHenry@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I got banned from Reddit permanently because I had commented on an article of pertaining to enemies of the state. I said that traitors should be hung. So a bit strong but it was not directed to a particular person.

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[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 74 points 2 years ago (3 children)

The onion nails it again.

I'm glad at least Krystal and Kyle are trying to throw some water of sanity on the raging wildfires of bad takes out there.

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[–] Staiden@lemmy.dbzer0.com 70 points 2 years ago (7 children)

It sucks that we are not allowed to call bad ideas, bad ideas. Especially when it comes to Israel. Criticism is always antisemitism. I'm sorry I don't believe any country should be able to start an ethnostate and drive millions of people out of an area they have lived for what? Thousands of years? What does Israel think is going to happen? They are teaching a whole new generation to hate them. (as if they already diddnt) This will just cause more terrorist cells to pop up and work to kill more innocent people.

All in the name of some sky daddy. The only reason the US supports Israel is because some 2000 year old work of fiction wrote some doomsday prophecy.

[–] wewbull@feddit.uk 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm trying to work out why the US is sending an arms package to Israel. The US has already provided Israel with the highest level of technology for its armed forces. It can wipe out it's neighbours several times over. The world is pleading with Israel to show restraint, and the US is saying "have more missiles, please".

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[–] pandacoder@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Honestly the popular support from the people who can't point to Israel on a map is religious.

The governmental support definitely is not based on religion. The US makes semiconductor tech there and Israel is one giant front-line fortress for us. Israel is the Middle Eastern outpost analog to all of the East Asian allies who are littered with US military bases.

[–] Staiden@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My parents and my entire family only support Israel because the Bible says "If Israel falls the world ends". It's all the religious right cares about which is a very large part of the US. All of these are just my opinion and i love constuctive conversation. It's really a massive mix of things and just for me to minimize it to religion isnt exactly right.

[–] Glytch@ttrpg.network 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I always heard it the other way around. That restoring Israel would bring about the End Times, but also that the End Times are a good thing because it means the Kongdom of God will finally be realized. I went to a pentecostal summer camp, though, so that might have something to do with it.

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[–] AdamHenry@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

SkyDaddy sure, but don't forget American currency is tied to this destruction as well. We didn't didn't hustle out those 8-10 bill boats out there because we are fanboys of Bebe. Nothing good ever comes out of messing around in the Middle East. Nothing. It was a mistake for the US to get this involved.

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[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 67 points 2 years ago

Ok I was ready to be disappointed but this is lengendary

[–] library_napper@monyet.cc 59 points 2 years ago

This is a fraught moment, and one that has polarized not only Americans but people all over the world. It demands incredible sensitivity and strict adherence to journalistic standards of objectivity, and simply put, that is something we aren’t willing to do. Rather, we’re just going to say The Onion expresses its steadfast solidarity with Israel and leave it at that.

[–] pressanykeynow@iusearchlinux.fyi 58 points 2 years ago

Ah, an honest journalism at last

[–] xGIHOST@lemmy.world 45 points 2 years ago

It seems everyone did the same for the same reason.
Everyone is "standing" with them because they have power unlike Palestine who have none.

[–] BuddyTheBeefalo@lemmy.ml 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Finally, and more importantly, it’s because we don’t want to and you can’t make us. You can’t. You seriously can’t. You cannot make us do all of this hard stuff. Ever. Seriously.

Remember Charlie?

[–] dm_me_your_boobs@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago (3 children)
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[–] 1984@lemmy.today 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Good satire but it's a bit hard to laugh for me, because it just reminds me how shitty people are leading the societies here on dumb Earth.

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[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Idek if this is a real article or an actual announcement because both would be equally fair.

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[–] casmael@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago

Finally some good sense on this contentious issue x

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