Actually the scam was that the machine was able to do it from a pinprick blood sample. The idea was that you would take the blood sample yourself, directly at the pharmacy. No doctor appointment and nurse needed. That's why the idea was valued at billions.

And she looks funny in this picture so I 100% stand behind this meme.

gotdang shapeshifters man

Elizabeth Holmes, the former CEO of Theranos. She was sentenced to prison for defrauding investors. She started making claims that she could do exactly what the headline says. She claimed that current blood panels (which usually require a vial of blood for each test) were insufficient and outdated, and that her company could predict or diagnose a ton of diseases and disorders with only a pinprick of blood. She said that her company was already in the final stages of the research, and used those claims to entice investors. She said that her company was going to be on the forefront of a medical revolution, and investors were clambering to get in before they hit the market.

It turns out she was full of shit, was lying through her teeth, the technology didn’t exist, and they couldn’t diagnose anything with the tiny amount of blood she claimed. Medical professionals had been screaming about the fraud for a long time, but techbros and billionaires were happy to continue jumping on the bandwagon because she kept promising results in the near future. When the fraud finally came to light, Theranos’ valuation went from ~$9B to $0 basically overnight. It was a massive “she stole from billionaires, so we’re making an example of her and actually prosecuting the white collar crime that never gets prosecuted” court case that started way back in the mid 2010’s. It only recently wrapped up a few years ago (I think in late 2022 or early 2023?) and she’s still serving time.

CEO of Theranos, currently spending time in jail for fraudulently saying they could do this.

She took millions of investment to make a company that sells "do it at home" blood tests. She never could actually do the tests work, but was trying to sell them anyway, and taking more money by telling investors they worked.

The one and only female Steve Jobs of course. Elizabeth Holmes.

Who did you steal it from?

No need to brag that your girlfriend could be wearing your pants

Woah, you got a 12?! I only scored a 4 on my cock exam :(

Don't shove numbers up your cock.

Kind of. More likely if you read the publication it is about something else, but that doesn't drive clicks. Maybe you have a 12 inch cock in your ass?

Its bleached and straightened. The bellend shape implies it would be curly if she didn't cook it every morning with a flat iron.

Probably bleached too much? She always strikes me as uncanny because she comes across as the female Zuckerberg to me.

The uncanny, isnt limited to her wig. She looks like a Simpsons character made a wish on a Zoltar machine to be real person.

You think news headlines are concerned with inconvenient shit like evidence?

The article doesn't seem to be selling any particular technology, but rather sharing information on the fact that the research is currently in progress.

https://archive.ph/Yv7GN

The concept of identifying risk factors via blood sample has always been a good one. I'm not a scientist or medical professional, so I just assume the reason we're not sequencing everyone's genome is that it's not currently a good use of medical resources. I can't recall the name of this woman or her product, but my recollection is that she was claiming something currently impossible, not theoretically impossible.

Her thing was supposed to work basically instantly, in a small box without a lab. This doesnt say anything about how that blood sample is actually tested.

They don't name the exact study but this research is related: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-024-52310-9

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2025/nov/20/pinprick-blood-test-could-detect-disease-10-years-before-symptoms-appear-study

Can it detect puberty 10 years early too?