this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2025
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[–] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago

For sure just dont get too mad if I fuck it up the first time

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It is interesting, back in 2019 when I first started listening to WTYP pod, I got super annoyed at the pronoun check at the start when November (with zero voice training) said that she was a woman, while clearly sounding like a man.

I used to "correct" her when she said it, never commended ir posted about it, just said it to my self locally, simply because while that was my opinion and it is my right to hold opinions like that, I didn't want to be a dick about it directly to them.

The really annoying thing about her at the tome was that I found that we shared humor and interests, so I kept listening, just skipping the pronoun check.

And over time, I realized that what I wanted doesn't matter, what matters is that you are doing well and don't hurt others.

These days I still skip the pronoun check since I find it a bit annoying, but I am far more tolerant of trans people than I was before.

I still have work to do, since I have trouble understanding the whole non-binary stuff, but in general I believe that to be a problem for me to deal with, and I do my best to not make it anyone else's problem.

[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I wish more people who haven’t fully untrained their “gender-is-biosex” upbringing were like you. This is the right path. You are, at least with regard to as much as you have revealed in your story, a good person.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I try to be, I am by no means perfect, I harbour views on migration which has had me been called racist by some people, and too soft by others. My views on prisons can probably be seen as a regression from what we have in Sweden in some circles, in others it would be seen as a good way forward.

I strongly believe that in terms of ideology, social democracy is the best, in real life it is a constant tightrope to keep walking the correct path, as both interests are pulling hard to either side.

I bring all of this up to try and show that I am just a normal person, trying their best in an everchanging world, I do my best to lead a decent life.

My general life philosophy is that I want the last words I say to someone to be kind, on the off chance they remember me, I want them to remember me in a positive light, this has changed my general outlook on life, and turned me into a more relaxed and happy person.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I live by the "punched in the mouth" rule.

Basically, I don't do anything that would cause me to get punched in the mouth.

Not to imply that I live in fear of violence or anything, but rather that I am considerate of the kinds of things that would get a person who is vulnerable to being punched in the mouth punched in the mouth, and I do not do those things.

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago (2 children)

🙄

Most of the world will go along with whatever you say because people are, on average, nice and don't really mean to offend you... but you can't actually get mad at anyone calling you a dude if you come sporting a beard or idk, wearing nothing but masculine clothes. It can just be an honest mistake: regardless of whether they agree with current Western trans ideology, they would've still called you "she" for the sake of peace, this time biological reality was just faster than our social filter.

Just in case one of you feels like you have the moral ground to start harassing people for something you would be properly ridiculed and referred to mental health professionals pretty much anywhere else in the world (I know I'm not talking to Nigerian or Nepalese trans women, lol).

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 19 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

No one is saying you have to be a mind-reader.

This is about deliberately misgendering someone because they're not passing, not simply making a mistake or not knowing their preferred pronouns.

Fair enough. And yeah, that's at the very least unkind and if you're like that, it's better to leave trans people alone.

[–] becausechemistry@piefed.social 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Gosh, it must be so great to go around in life feeling super smart because you can feel like you’ve won arguments online by telling people they’re a idiots for saying something they didn’t actually say.

[–] Carnelian@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

What I figured out is I don’t even need to post at all, I can just sit around imagining myself winning arguments against enemies that don’t exist. It’s like an infinite dopamine glitch. After a while I started branching out into hand-to-hand combat, and eventually full scale military conflicts in which I lead my samurai to victory by understanding “biological reality” better than the enemy generals