this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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I've been teaching myself to shake off the constant messaging that I have to look sexy or beautiful or desirable to have value. My body has changed after I had a kid and as I've gotten older, so it would be all too easy to find things that aren't the beauty ideal. But now when I look at myself I deliberately think something else. Look at those strong arms that can lift my three year old high enough to play airplane. Look at that belly which means I have enough food to eat. Look at those legs that can take me dancing. My purpose isn't to look pretty for people, I'm here to do other things, and my body lets me to do them. Thanks, body.
🩷
nothing good, that's for sure
im fat, always have been, and it makes me really upset. when i look at myself i mainly feel disgust, anger, and hatred.
That I don't have enough curves in the right places yet I can't manage to put more weight on. That I'll never be seen correctly for who I am due to my unfortunate bone structure.. I do have upcoming ffs so maybe that will change, but I remain pretty hopeless whenever there are mirrors around.
That's really rough mate, your bone structure is unfortunate and it stops people seeing you correctly. I understand the hopelessness... what would help you accept your body?
Honestly probably being accepted in more irl women's circles (I'm just rejected from all currently). Here in the US South that isn't really a possibility without passing unfortunately. A few years of hrt hasn't been sufficient in overcoming my bone structure, so I can't really see myself correctly most of the time...I can't really blame anyone for constantly misgendering me. I'm a they/she sort of trans enby but I just default to neutral pronouns because of it...and people still don't even acknowledge those. Being alive just hurts most of the time and I'm not sure that will ever change.
I am delighted I get to look like this now!
I have measurable breasts and trace amounts of hips, the changes are slow but persistent. I am a work in progress; the small steps are adding up. I like how things are now, and I hope to enjoy the things to come as well!
I gather I'm in a bit of a sweet spot right now. This is all pretty new to me, so there remains a palpable sense of novelty to my reflection, and I've not been a woman long enough to succumb to beauty industry propaganda. I do hope to stave that off as long as I possibly can.
For the time being, pretty satisfied!
I know I shouldn't say this cos y'know, female empowerment, body positive etc...but I don't think good things. I've got middle aged spread starting and I can't shake it without making massive diet and exercise changes. i used to have great boobs but they really aren't nice now. I'm not in bad shape but I truly hate my stomach and boobs.
I, too, hate my stomach and boobs 😰
In terms of body positivity, I don't like the way the advocacy for something like body positivity makes us feel as individuals guilty for our feelings - it's like we have to deal with feeling bad about our bodies in ways we were socialized to experience, but then on top of that we are meant to feel guilty for having been socialized that way?
I dunno, I think we should shed the guilt and just recognize it's complicated, but that feeling bad about your body isn't the same as perpetuating body norms on others. I think we should at least offer ourselves that respite.
I think it's ok to look at things on your body and recognize that they're not the beauty ideal. I don't think body positivity is about finding every body beautiful because frankly they're not. I think it's more about acknowledging that, unless you're a model or in show biz, being pretty isn't your job. You do not owe beauty to anyone.
I need to engage more with body positivity literature, I admit I just don't really know even the basic claims being made, but I was just in a session where a commentator in a session about ozempic drugs admitted she simultaneously feels shame for her (overweight) body, but also feels shame for wanting to diet and become thin, given all the critique of thinness (in the context of white feminism, colonial studies, etc.) - it's not just about recognizing your body falls short of an ideal, but additionally was tied up in the shame from awareness that your preference to be thin is due to socialization that is ultimately racist, misogynistic, etc.
Well, I'm trans, so I used to be unable to look at my body without getting a huge wave of dysphoria - recently it's gotten a lot better, as I started to transition and pass. There are still certain things I dislike about my body, but it's no longer overwhelming.
Edit: I feel like this thread is 90% trans people 🤣
I get that, your body wasn't what it was supposed to be. Now your outside matches your inside more and you're expressing your true self.
Can i ask you something? How do you feel about the word pass? I always feel it's not accurate cos it's not passing, it's people being able to correctly recognise your true gender... but then I'm cis so my opinion doesn't matter.
Of course your opinion matters! I'm not sure I completely understand what you're saying, though. What do you mean by "it's not passing"?
I've always been underweight. In the last 5 years in particular, there have been times when my weight was concerningly low. Times when all I could see was my ribs and hips showing through my skin, and despair about ever reaching and maintaining a healthy weight.
But right now, it's okay. I'm still not in the range I would consider ideal for my height and build, but I noticed recently that I can't even see my collarbone anymore. That's amazing, and right now it's all I see when I look in the mirror. I don't know how long it will last so I'm trying to appreciate the small amount of extra padding while I've got it.
Needs more boob, a surgery and I'm good to go. Like my skin and hair though!
I don't look bad, only wrong parts should be gone🌸
I used to avoid looking at it, I had a very toxic relationship with my self image for a long time.
I used to be underweight when I was younger, then as an adult that learned to cook nice food I got a lot heavier, which was hard as someone with a warped sense of what 'healthy' weight was.
After many years of untangling my issues and accepting my body I started to take better care of myself, I'm still a little pudgy but I like looking at how exercise is changing my overall form and fitness. - I still have a bit of a belly and soft hips but I like having some softness to my shape too. (Also, belly bongos are fun)
It's never "I look ok" it's always "damn I'm handsome" or "ew I'm ugly" depending on god knows what