this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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top 42 comments
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[–] orenj@lemmy.sdf.org 75 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Dont fuck with drinks even as a bit, kids

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 34 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] NickwithaC@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago

This is the shitpost community. It's fine.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 3 points 1 day ago

Especially since those require warm water to dissolve the capsule.

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world -1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'd rather them fucking drinks than driving the drinks and fucking the owners of days drink.

Besides it was a dirty martini, how could one resist?

[–] percent 2 points 19 hours ago

That's such an interesting way to arrange those words

[–] Wammityblam@lemmy.world 89 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I’m not gay but that would probably do it for me tbh

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 51 points 2 days ago (1 children)

puts dehydrated dinosaur in your drink

[–] Wammityblam@lemmy.world 51 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 36 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You both just killed the upcoming community /c/ nowkiss

I hope you are proud.

Really, you should be.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

starts sloppy kissing Akasazh

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

stammers words of consent through the drool

works every time 😎

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 39 points 2 days ago

This would fully work on me. Especially if he replaced the drink, because obviously I'm not drinking that lol

[–] rapchee@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago (5 children)
[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social 64 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Everything is edible.

Some things just once.

[–] tmyakal 41 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Reminds me of a guy I used to work with. Any time he got frustrated with our manager, he'd mutter to himself, "Everyone gets one."

The way he explained it to me is, everyone is allowed to murder one person. You might suffer some real bad consequences as a result, but if you can stomach those consequences, no one can really stop you from doing just one murder.

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 days ago

There are people in prison for attempted murder that would beg to differ.

It's not a freebie, preparation and follow through are critical to getting your one.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are you eating it or is it eating you.

Just because nobody ever tried doesn't mean you oan't be the first one to do it! Go for it!

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Why does that feel like a Terry Pratchett quote?

[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Because I adapted the original, which is his. He originally talked about all mushrooms being edible, although some just once.

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Ahh that's it

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago

If it kills you, its not "safe for human consumption" which is the defining characteristic between something edible and any random item you can stuff down your throat.

You can eat anything once. If it's edible you can eat it more than once. Words having meanings. Yes, I am fun at parties.

[–] Wammityblam@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Anything is edible if you try hard enough

[–] flandish@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

say that to my cock. it’s disgusting.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 days ago
[–] starik@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago

No they’re foam. And the dissolving gel cap is probably nasty to drink.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Where do you think dino nuggies come from?

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Modern Dino’s’ meat ground up and processed with bone, beak, and other ‘waste parts’ jammed into molds and baked?

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

OH MY GOD I AM ORDERING THOSE DINOSOWER PILLS RN THEY ARE SO COOL I WANT TO RELIVE MY CHILDHOOD

[–] M137@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Man, there's a really good sketch from a Swedish comedian a bit related to this but I can't find a version with English subtitles...
I'll post it anyway because I think you can understand most of it anyway:

https://youtu.be/HaODSHahlPc

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Haha thanks for sharing. i didnt understand a word except "party drug" and "bombastic mr fantastic" but that was hilarious

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] KindnessIsPunk@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago

Dinosaur moans

[–] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My neighbor did this to her parents but the dinosaur was made of clobe so her mom and dad became Christmas clad. None of it made any sense but I took her word for it because she gets pretty violent if you question her.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This happened to my buddy Dave once