this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] FRYD@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago

I have a friend who was in that situation. After a while he just started jerking it again. Not watching so much porn and not jerking it every day is probably good for you, but going no fap is just gonna give you wet dreams to clean up and won’t actually solve any problems.

The whole “rarely find a mate” thing is first of all a really weird phrasing and secondly is a solvable problem. That manosphere crap is a learned helplessness grift. Lower your standards a bit, get some hobbies, go socialize. As long as you respect people, you’ll find plenty of people willing to give you a chance.

you can never make art again

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 21 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

It's a little odd calling them a "mate" in this context. There's nothing wrong with masterbation. If you think porn is had and don't wanna watch it, that's fine, but genuinely there is absolutely nothing wrong with masterbation. I think a lot of people take folks' negative feelings about porn and twist them into negative feelings about self pleasure and try to get people to believe that living some "pure" life where you don't touch yourself is inherently better than the alternative or something. It's really not.

Sex is a big part of life. There's no reason you can't do it alone. There's no reason why you shouldn't do it alone. Go enjoy yourself. Have some me time. It's not something to feel guilty about.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Tell that to the religious that are being taught every day that they'll go to hell for touching their peepee because God always watches them, always judges them

[–] reksas@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

desperate/suffering people are easier to control, i assume that is the main reason for this kind of stuff in religion especially since it has no basis in the original message.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'd be happy to. I believe they're being lied to. I was brought up in that same puritanical culture. Leaving the church and religion were the most freeing things of my life.

But even apart from that, if you believe that lust is a sin and/or that pornography is morally wrong, you can still masterbate without that being a part of it. That's sort of what I was trying to get at without being so direct, as I don't know if OP is religious or what their beliefs are. Too many people think that looking at porn and masturbating are the same thing. You can look at porn without touching yourself. You can touch yourself without looking at porn. You can even touch yourself without imagining yourself having sex with someone. I have male body parts, and generally "fap" implies male parts, so I sort of assume OP has the same parts as me. It is a very common experience, especially when younger, that any sort of physical stimulation down there results in an erection. If you get an erection because you crossed your legs in tight pants, did you lust? No. Of course not. If you get an erection because you intentionally touch yourself in a way you find pleasurable, have you lusted? I say no, and I feel pretty strongly about that. How is it different than rubbing your shoulders to give yourself some relief if you're tense? It's another physical stimulation that feels good.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 47 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Sounds like a categorically terrible idea. Is there any ackshuall proof having 1 orgasm per day (regardless of the outlet or method) is harmful in any measurable/quantifiable way besides reducing desperation for sex?

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 48 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (19 children)

Actually helps prevent prostate cancer in men, idk about women's hard data physical effects.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I sincerely dont and cant understand no-fap outside of an addiction 12-steps/abstinence style vantage point.

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 46 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

It's extremely dumb and only ever pushed by grifters, usually manosphere type losers.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

Like, i dont get how they (presumuably) view having an orgasm-via-penis-in-vagina everyday as truly and biologically distinct from everyday orgasm-via-masturbation. I dont think your body truly knows the difference in a mechanical sense.

[–] meco03211@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Mechanical isn't the only part being played. There's hormones too. I'm positive there's differences there depending on alone or with someone. Whether or not that has any health implications I've no idea.

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[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Idk I'm not a doctor but you sound right

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[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I just saw several posts the last 2 days of a study that showed that if you don't cum enough, your sperm becomes a bunch of dumb dumbs. Yes, I used scientific lingo for that, I'm sorry.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I did it for a little over a month once just to see what it was like. There weren't really any effects beyond just being horny all the time. It was basically like being a teenager in high school again. Other than that nothing changed. I didn't experience any of the benefits you see people talking about. I probably had more trouble focusing on work but that's hard to tell because that's always been a problem.

[–] Chais@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Personally I find being horny incredibly distracting. It's so hard to focus on anything and makes interacting with people you could theoretically "mate" with much more difficult because my mind is constantly preoccupied with "would. I wonder if they'd be interested." Really annoying.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 2 days ago

Yeah I'm the same way. I have a much easier time interacting with women if I keep the edge off.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

the "benefits" are mostly people with addictions losing their executive disfunctions. re-realizing you can just...do things you want to do is powerful experience

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I'd imagine this is how you turn yourself into a psycho killer.

[–] MelastSB@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Sorry I haven't taken Latin since high school

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It's French. It means "What is this?"

Better run run run run run AWAYYYYY

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[–] MantisToboggon@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] geomela@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago

In that case, your balls probably won't explode then.

[–] Ghostie@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago

You’ll grow balls and then they’ll explode!

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[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

I know it's not what you asked, OP, but NoFap is a purity cult. Cross reference the mods from r/nofap and you'll find heavy correlation with religious sub's.

Despite claims for helping porn/sex addicts, their intent is to get their foot in the door.

If you want to live a life of NoFap for reasons you decide for yourself, fine, but don't do it to gain any of the benefits those twats claim.

Worst case scenario is you get prostate cancer.

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[–] Iconoclast@feddit.uk 7 points 3 days ago

Using the term "NoFap" in the title is a bit like putting "AI" in there - it pretty much guarantees zero productive conversation in the comments and instead acts as a bug light for certain people to just chime in with their personal views on that one thing.

I don't even bother writing a response to the actual question because I don't want to spend the rest of the day defending views I don't even hold.

[–] mimic_kry@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'm in it, last relationship was 17 years or so ago

I mean it ain't all bad. So long as you don't mind the actual loneliness, the physical touch gets easy to forget.

But I dunno if I'd recommend this to anyone tbh

Oh edit because I didn't address your question. No it doesn't go away, but it gets easier to ignore over time. Also I'm on 1500mg oh lithium so that may impact things.

[–] ageedizzle@piefed.ca 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You’re asking a bunch of chronically online lemmy nerds what they think of masturbation. So if you’re looking for an impartial response then you’ve come to the wrong place.

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 days ago

🤣 You're not wrong.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don't understand the idea of not fapping.

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[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 5 points 3 days ago

One of the side effects is compulsive posting on 4chan /pol

[–] Drbreen@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I can only guess anger, depression and extreme irritability. Especially in such a sexually charged culture.

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