Technically that last part is true. Patterson didn't actually film a real bigfoot.
this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2026
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That's the actual lore behind orangutans. (Orang utan means forest people)
1 - Read Industrial Society and Its Future
2 - Become Bigfoot
3 - ???
4 - Enjoy life. (Profit is for capitalist pigs)
There's a sci-fi (from the 1800s, so it's quaint in how inaccurate it is) that literally has humans are actually Neotonous Apes and just never encountered the right trigger to end the neotony and change form
We are a 500 million year old string of neotony. When will mature and settle down like a grown up sponge.
Basically we are to apes what axolotls are to salamanders.
That was fully the inspiration for the short story, reportedly
Is there a sign-up, or a pamphlet or something?
I wonder if there is a measurable correlation between things like 'amount of time spent outdoors' and 'amount of body hair'... Could such an effect actually happen in humans as well?
To actually measure causation rather than correlation, though, you'd need a much more intensive experiment tracking a large number of individuals both before and after changing their lifestyle to either be less outdoors or more outdoors.
It ain't made me more hairy
the thing about us is that our species basically developed because we domesticated ourselves, it's like trying to rewild naked mole rats, being naked and social is their wild state.
Grasshoppers become locusts in a matter of hours under the right conditions (overcrowding)
It's absurd that in 2026 people still believe in Bigfoot ... when it's obviously just a Yeti in a gorilla suit.
I mean, if we analyze it a bit, Bigfoot is just a very self-sufficient dude
His name is Darryl and he cannot carry a tune in a five gallon bucket