Can't never did anything
this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2026
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Be kind.
Everything is relative.
"Anything for a weird life."
Said by Zaphod Beeblebrox in the original radio version of The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy in response to being led by another character into the zany peril of the moment.
“Your rights end where another’s begin.”
A nicely summarized mantra to push back on the paradox of tolerance. Many people use free speech, free market, etc, as an excuse to impede others, and this is my response to that.
There's a version of that one I like which goes something like, "your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins."
"It's better to fart into the toilet than to shit into your pants."
One of my own making after a particularly bad gut bug.
As my father used to say “Don’t do two crimes at the same time”
Yup. I watch a bunch of cop videos catching smugglers on highways. The fool or fools driving always smoked weed in the car. Such a stupid thing. And it’s always a rental.
Consider that the publishers of those videos have a vested interest in showing you the ones that make the suspects look the most stupid. The cops get to click delete on the ones showing them harassing innocent people and/or otherwise looking foolish themselves.
I've been plenty of videos of cops being complete abusive dumbasses, but you're not wrong about them destroying the most damning evidence.
May all your blows be 5 Mark Ruffalos.
Lmfao
"If you can stand, you can work."
"work will set you free" energy.
Motivation is not required
As a disabled person who’s spent most of her life in abusive relationships if I waited for motivation to get things done I’d be long since dead
My grandfather (who died well before my time), but I picked up the saying from my mum;
"Pray to God, but row to shore"
My sister gave me the following to bring me up from the depths of despair, and to bring me back to earth before I make an Icarus of myself:
"This too shall pass"
The golden rule. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
What about: "you have food stuck in your teeth"?
"if you comment on someone's appearance and it would take them more than 5min to fix, you're an asshole. If it would take less than that, you're helping them."
Other ones I have:
-egos trip. But the humble doesn’t stumble.
-if you’re not talking income, then walking outs the outcome
-talk to me nice. Or don’t talk to me twice.
-Minor setback for a major get back
-the reasons change like seasons change.
"Ever Tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." - Samuel Beckett
Leave it better than you found it
Be excellent to each other.
And party on dudes!
and Party On, dude.
1: It’s weird to not be weird
2: Hate only the hateful
3: Be intolerant of intolerance
Be the change you want to see in the world.
"Try anything at least once" be it food or an experience you don't know until you try. You learn about the world, about others and most importantly about yourself.
My cousin has a similar one, but it’s “try anything twice”. Often times your first experience in something may be rough but the second go around can be significantly better. Or in the case of food, sometimes the first time you tried it was from someone who didn’t know how to do the dish justice, or bad ingredients put into it.
Have you ever went skydiving? Not a gotcha, just actually curious. I kinda want to.
Did enough of that in the army my knees put that in the category of did a bunch of times and dont ever want to do it again. Jumping at night is the worst. I also hated packing my chute the most.
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"I pretended to be the person I wanted to be until I became that person, or he became me." Attributed to Cary Grant. On the days I wake up feeling miles away from the person I want to be, I can pretend.
"Sense and honor your intuition; it always has your best interest at heart." ~ Unknown
"Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong"
Made quite a few enemies and traumas by being paranoid af.
It ain't cheating if you don't get caught.
Not the most noble thing to say, but I follow it from time to time ( mainly in inconsequential things as of now ) Sometimes you gotta cheat to get ahead in whatever you are doing, so just don't get caught.
If you encounter a problem once fix it. If you encounter it twice fix it but note it might be recurring. If you encounter it thrice consider a permanent solution.
Nothing more permanent than a temporary fix.
Don't count your drugs over the toilet.
If the women didn't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy
If you're gonna be stupid, be smart about it.
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