Item in grocery store doesn't scan.
That means it's free!
this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
22 points (84.4% liked)
Asklemmy
43810 readers
1 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
Every time I hear this one I wanna break the product in half and walk awayπ
Working hard or hardly working?
Are ya a smart fella, of a fart smella?
More of a fart fella
What.... I like that one. Sorry.
Just make sure you find and stick close to the other people at your job who think it's funny.
"Watching porn at work, so both."
Talking about any ear or hearing trouble and someone replies "pardon?"
π€¦π€¬
I do this, but I like to respond with a loud and sudden "WHAT" which is probably less funny and more obnoxious but it usually gets a laugh
As someone who's been hearing impaired my whole life, yes. The urge to punch the person in the face right at that moment sometimes seems irresistible.
I'd like to believe I'd still have that reaction to this "joke" even if my hearing was fine, still I do agree with you that it's really extra infuriating when explaining a genuine hearing issue
I have been unfortunate enough to hear various racist and/or homophobic jokes over the years, so probably one of them
To a colleague arriving 10 mins late: "Afternoon."
To a colleague arriving 10 mins early: "Shat the bed?"
I feel like if I shat the bed, I'd be late instead of early.
Agreed π―, this is not amusing.
As someone who works the later shifts, it took me a while to figure out what was wrong with "afternoon". It's been so long since someone has said good morning to me at work
Three moles were digging a tunnel. One of the moles farts. The next mole says, "smells like rutabagas". The next mole says, "smells like carrots".
After a long pause, the first mole turns to the last mole that has not spoken yet and asks what they smell.
The last mole says "molasses" and gets back to digging.
I read this joke when I was maybe 13 and I never understood it. More than a decade later I was randomly driving around and I remembered this joke and got it.
Maybe just because we don't understand it, but the ancient Sumerian bar joke:
A dog entered into a tavern and said, 'I cannot see anything. I shall open this one.'
The "I have a [topic] joke, but [topical reason why it wouldn't land or you wouldn't get it]" template
All of those trite reddit-tier quips that people repeat like they're filling out a template. Like
Person 1: such and such thing is shit
Person 2: that's an insult to shit!
I gotta figure they don't even find it funny themselves but just do it out of obligation. Hopefully now that AI is replacing all the commenters the conversation will become less robotic.
Some chowder head in the 80s said "you've never seen me and batman in the same room at the same time" and now we're all paying for it. "I'd call them a removed but at least those have warmth and depth"
I also choose this guy's overused jokes.
It's a toss-up between Elon Musk and people saying "WHAT?!" when I tell them I'm hearing impaired.
The βwe are not the sameβ meme. I understand the point, itβs just not funny. Itβs cringey as hell.