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Based off a post I made on Reddit a while back. Hope y'all enjoy.
Edit: Since people are mentioning it - the stat buffs do not matter. I was being silly when I threw those in. But yes, the scale is 0-100.
Fatigue mask seems cool, until you're just spending 7 extra hours a day procrastinating doing the thing you thought you'd use all this extra time to achieve.
The glasses are OP. With them, nobody can even be mad at you for all the procrastination.
Fatigue mask fixes my insomnia, I like to think that the world isn't ready for that amount of unbridled power
..... In reality, I probably just exist as I do today, just less knackered
The penny is OP. Flip a coin, get a heads, buy the most expensive lottery ticket at the gas station. Wait 2 weeks, repeat. Infinite money glitch
I was trying to avoid "cool item give big money" because that's exactly what I did when I posted the idea on Reddit. It was a set of dice that would give the winning lottery numbers and then scatter like the Dragon Balls. And then guess what half of everyone chose. At least the penny can be used for things other than gambling. Idk maybe something like that should be a single use item to balance things out.
It's functionally a wish every 4 weeks, and you know if you'll succeed or not before you attempt whatever it is.
Win the lottery, invent time travel, learn to fly, solve world hunger, conquer the universe, create the other artifacts...
The mask, the penny, and (depending on how hand-wavey you get) the glasses, are on a different power level than the other two.
7 extra hours of life per day, at full rest?
On demand money(gambling), or better(anything else, like applying at a school), though unreliably, once a month?
Auto-navigate to your desired outcome when other people are involved?
Yeah, life-breaking shit
Ok, the mask if you are actually rested and not just "feeling rested". Being hit with the physical effects of sleep deprivation and having organs start failing after a couple weeks would be a real problem.
Otherwise, that damn penny. Knowing that I have 12 hours of "I win" without any real limitation, even if it ends up being 12 hrs/month, would be obscenely broken. None of the other artifacts even come close. I make sure I always flip on a Monday at about 8am, if it's heads, I apply for jobs I want and trade some stocks until about 1 pm, then go for a walk and see what goodness I can fall into for my life. Head home around 6pm with 2 hours of perfect luck left which I spend working on the cure for Autoimmune diseases and Cancer. Once I have enough wealth built up and have found plenty of cures to Salk the hell our of to piss off the pharma companies, I start working on Nuclear Fusion. Continue this pattern until I get bored.
I agree, with one huge exception. Why the hell are you wasting your lucky coin applying for jobs?
Also, sure, do some trades once to get some starter money. But that's a waste of your precious 12 hours a month. As is going for walks. You can be on vacation the other 98% of the time; spend every second of your penny time doing as much good as you can.
Cure diseases, solve nuclear fusion, end wars and violence, build infrastructure. There seems to be no limit the way it's worded. Hell, build the Enterprise from Star Trek (or a better space ship) and spend your non-penny time exploring the galaxy.
Do physical laws even apply? Can you build replicators for everyone? How about a mansion in a tardis for every person on the planet?
For how long do you have to try something to succeed at it? Maybe you can do each of these things in just a couple seconds. If that's the case, maybe penny time will quickly become non-valuable if you run out of ideas.
The coin, because I can flip every two weeks to attempt total world domination, and it has a pretty high chance of succeeding somehow. Or just more mundane things like flipping to win the jackpot.
The slick talker glasses are also pretty overpowered, you can achieve much the same as with the penny if you can just give a quick speech and everyone in the room either tries to fuck you or be you five minutes later.
But my heart is with the quick sleeper mask, I’m never really rested after waking up and also procrastinate going to bed all the time. Getting a full rest in one hour sounds like the dream
The penny, then I’ll try and take the rest. (Flips coin, it landed on heads!)
Coin
Look, the glasses are nice and all, but they don't give you a 50% change to win the lottery and randomly realise a way to prove/disprove the Riemann hypothesis every two weeks
I wonder how this works with elections. In my country, the votes are counted within 12 hours. When I'm voting on a party, I am attempting to make said party the largest one. Does the coin just give me a 50% chance to unilaterally decide my government every election cycle?
Edit: oh shit, it's not 50% chance, but 100% after it came into effect once. The first time it lands on heads, try to guess the next flip's outcome by guessing it would be heads. Since the coin is in effect, this guess is correct, even though the next coin will only be flipped in two weeks
In other words, the coin just gives you reality warping for halve a day every two weeks
Get fatigue mask.
Work out until completely destroyed
Put on mask
Wake up refreshed
Rinse repeat until I can crush stones between fingers
Dig a lithium mine by hand
Dominate the battery market and develop affordable electric vehicles
Use money to build large tubes
Use personal strength to javalin throw that shit into space
Get obscenely rich
Buy facebook actually make it better
Change name legally to: Fuck you Elon Musk
Coin is overpowered af. Just flip the coin and buy a lottery. At that precise moment, all other items are practically useless.
You can hire a cook, sleep, buy whatever you need, hire people to do your bidding. Who needs charisma when they have money?
It is overpowered af but don't use it to get money. Use it to get the charisma glasses and each of the others during your first 12 hours (coincidently, they will all be close and easy to grab). Then attempt to write out an exhaustive list of any other objects or abilities that might threaten you (or maybe start with this one, as the glasses are the only one that threatens you from the original list). I'd say hopefully no one else has some other object or ability that warns them of anything that might threaten them, but yours might nullify theirs during your 12 hours. Attempt to deal with the list before half the time has passed.
Then start attempting to gain new abilities. Or attempt to find 28 more coins. 28 instead of 27 so that you can flip the next coin before the current one runs out and never fail the next flip. The sleep mask ensures you never sleep through a transition. Not that you'll even need the ability to be constantly active.
"Anything you attempt" is waaaaay too broad.
Will the sleep mask make me well rested or the regular not rested I usually get from sleeping 8 hours?
Sleep disorders, checking in!
Ok … duh … the glasses are the best artifact.
You could be running the world in no time with that kind of charm applied to politics.
23 hours a day instead of 16 to 19 seems real good. That's like living considerably longer.
Couldn't you use the penny and just attempt to find the cure for death? It makes everything else silly.
Does the underwear cover basic grooming and self care? I.e. do I still need to trim my fingernails, shave, apply sunscreen?
What about the health benefits of staying clean? I mean nice breath is fine, but if I stop brushing will I get cavities? If I get a cut, do I still need to clean the wound to avoid infection?
I'll do you one better and rank these instead.
I really wanted to put the caffeinated shoes at number 1, but the lucky Penny sounds OP.
Also, the underwear is an unfortunate item because most people who need it wouldn't choose it. It's also the only item that could be simulated with one hour of effort a day (at most) for most people.
Nah, glasses need to be ranked much higher. Do you realize how powerful those are just in every day use? Always impress at job interviews or reviews for promotions/raises? Use in sales jobs or anything customer/client facing to always come out of it ahead? Not only being able to be effortlessly popular in all forms of relationships, but also always know the right things to say to help those people or help them feel better?
"Social situations" is such a broad term that applies to so much of life, and being able to navigate them perfectly implies more than just schmoozing your way to the top. They'd help you do better and be better, basically everywhere.
If I had to put these on a personal tier list
S Tier:
Cool Glasses - As someone on the spectrum who is below-average in terms of physical attractiveness, the one thing I sorely lack is rizz. The ability to put on a pair of glasses and be able to automatically pass any job interview, make any new friends, sell any product, chat up any woman, etc would be massive. Also, no cooldown.
Fatigue Masking Mask - Gaining an extra 7 waking hours of time in a day is massive. If you're productive this is the artifact to go for.
? Tier:
B Tier:
C Tier:
D Tier:
I would go crazy just to have the fatigue masking mask.
1 hour... fully rested??? Assuming one gets 8 hours of sleep a night (though, who is really getting 8 a night on lemmy?), you've just converted your ratio of sleep-to-awake from 1:2 to 1:23.
Extreme change imo, plus gives you the benefit of having time to take care of your hygiene anyway.
I've always been envious of people with great social skills. I could accomplish a lot more if I had them. The glasses for sure.
That underwear is cracked, gimme gimme.
also the coin holy shit, time to do some crimes
12 hours of solid fucking global mayhem every two weeks on a 50/50?! I’m patient. I’ll take the lucky penny.
Take the underwear and go into the deep ocean or outer space.
Unlimited fresh breath is an invaluable bonus.
The lucky penny is broken af. For example, you can use it to replicate everything else on the list or learn abilities to match them or better.
Basically, it's exactly how luck is purported to work in various fictional universes. It's kinda similar to Constantine's (hellblazer) ability.
Edit: I am seeing people disagree with the penny, but unless the penny is magical in not only giving you luck but also in how the flip goes you can practice to make the flip go in your favour by practicing (I have been able to take the equivalent of a penny in my country and make it fall on the exact side I want almost every time)
With no explicit negative feedback and the penny going dormant in between, you can absolutely practice it. Hell make it so the first time you get the lucky heads you both practice and attempt to make the penny's lucky effect permanent or at least semipermanent so that it goes in your favour the next fortnight you are supposed to flip it (if it can't be made permanent without flipping)
We need scales, is +100 luck = maximum luck? Or is it a logarithmic scale? We need context here.
Easily the penny. The mask is tempting to have more time in my day but I can just gamble and make a ton of money meaning I wouldn't have to work. It would also help with a ton of other stuff.
I don't know, the shoes are pretty tempting. I can Sprint at about 10 miles an hour for about 30 seconds right now. Multiplying those by 5 would let me Sprint at 50 miles an hour for two and a half minutes.
I would be the closest thing the real world has to having the flash, or you know kind of like an overweight Sonic the hedgehog
I wonder if the underwear also works if the user gets splashed with neurotoxin or hit by a wave of radiation. I know theres gotta be a clear cutoff but I'm not sure where it is.
Don't get me wrong, running faster than Usain Bolt seems cool, too. The sleeping mask seems like a great idea at first until you realize it would increase your food expense dramatically.
The sleeping mask seems like a great idea at first until you realize it would increase your food expense dramatically.
So what?? It would add years to your life! Imagine having 7 more hours of wake time every day for a decade! 7/24 or 29% more conscious life time! This is absolutely my choice :)
Fatigue Mask OP. I'll take 2.
All these people out here making these posts, but do any of you ever work on creating the things you're telling me about? Noooooooo.
Gimme my damned magic sleep mask and penny, dammit!
I was sold on the mask at "the wearer go falls asleep in 30 seconds" then read the rest. Undeniably the best one here.
Sincerely, a night owl who takes forever to fall asleep, and is perpetually tired
As someone who's continuously tired after tanking mono and COVID, I'll take the mask. Heck, I'd even take it if it gave me 8 hours of restful sleep. Just anything to wake up and feel rested for a while
The fatigue mask makes the underwear irrelevant. If I have an extra 7 hours in a day, I can spend some of that showering. You'd essentially gain an extra 3.5 months every year in additional time, plus you'd never be tired for any of it. There's a lot I could do with that time.
The Pan is questionably useful. Delicious food is cool, but has limited use with the cooldown. If I wanted to start a restaurant or something, could I only cook 3 delicious meals in a day? Or does "while in use" mean I could use it to continuously cook for 8 hours? If so, you could run a 3 star Michelin restaurant.
The shoes also seem limited to me. I can only use it until my stamina runs out? My stamina is already so low that 5x isn't even that much. I suppose I could use them to win the Olympics without training, but would they count as a violation? I really don't want to get involved in the underground track and field ring.
The glasses are very useful, lots of ways to find success if you know your way around networking. Being able to talk your way into or out of anything could get you crazy money, power, success, etc. in whatever you choose to do.
The penny is also mad useful. It essentially covers the abilities of all other items, albeit with a massive cooldown. Even still having an entire day of things going your way 26 times a year is an insane amount. You could win the lottery, start and sell successful businesses, find the love of your life, whatever, as long as you can make it happen in 12 hours.
I think it really comes down to the mask, the glasses or the penny. The mask really appeals to the tired part of me, but it doesn't really give you any superhuman abilities, just extra time to be normal, and I'd probably just waste it anyway. And while the glasses would be useful daily, you'd still have to do a lot of work to get yourself into important social situations to make use of it. Essentially your job would become networking. With the penny, I really think I could use its power to get myself into those situations by sheer luck, and then also have them go my way, by luck. I think I could end up making as much progress in those 12 hours as I could with 2 weeks of the glasses. Plus with the money I win from the lottery, I could fund projects faster instead of having to talk my way into funding.
I'm gonna go with the penny.
Honestly I think the pan, mask and the glasses are kind of a curse? How would I ever know if people actually like ME or just the glasses? All of my relationships would require keeping the glasses on, that's just stressful! How would I enjoy the taste of food or ever try new meals if it's always great? I'd just make the same thing over and over while being content, not actually happy. And if I sleep only an hour a day that's just gonna put me out of sync with the world and lead to loneliness.
The long cool down on the penny is honestly it's best feature, gives you room to still live your life.
Glasses.
Look, everyone votes for penny, but really if your social skills are exceptional, rendering you able to "flawlessly navigate social situations", you can get a lot of it anytime.
Want a super high paying job? Glasses! Wanna hit that girl? Glasses! Wanna get anything you want? Stay cool, with the use of glasses!
Penny does seem OP, but only for as long as it's active, and while it is on cooldown (which is, on average, a month) you live your regular life with all the misery, and even if you've managed to accumulate money and influence through your lucky streaks, there's always a lot that can go wrong. Besides, a random nature of a penny means you can never rely on it, and always have to assume you'll lose. Betting on a penny makes you the ultimate RNG person, with dramatic rises and even more dramatic falls. Betting on glasses makes you insanely powerful on demand. Always. Anytime.
yeah but- you can get a high paying job, successfully hit on that girl, and so much more with the penny, yeah it's only a 12h effect every two weeks (if you're lucky) but during those 12hours you are a god
The penny for sure. The mask might give you 7 more hours but the penny gives you 8, if you use it for money.
The glasses could be nice, but that depends wholly on the value system. Is charisma naturally rated 1 to 10? +35 is awesome! On a scale from 1 to 1000 not so much.