Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
Start the new year off right and leave this bad habit behind you, it's disgusting!
I shit every day and can't stop. I can't control myself and my desire to shit is so strong, I find myself putting it before my family, friends, job, I'll even wake up in the middle of the night with the need to shit sometimes. This addiction impacts my life every day. If I don't shit, I start to think about it and worry.
But when will I use Lemmy then?
Are you unemployed?
I prefer the term freelance CEO
I work in the food industry. Only time I'm on Lemmy at work is breaks/bathroom
Slogan should be "put a cork in it."
Tampons work surprisingly well.
How many do I need to eat for it to work?
Eat?
If I had three wishes, one of them would be to never need to use the bathroom again.
Wish granted. You now have catheter and colostomy bags.
STOP BEING THE TRICKY KIND OF GENIE PEOPLE!
Wish granted, I'm the murderous kind of genie now. So... What's your last wish?
Jeez. All I wanted was to never have to be around poo or pee again. Is that really asking too much? You guys are mean.
Granted. You are on the moon (with empty bladder and poop shute)
It's simple, you just have to remind yourself of the difference between the words 'give' and 'take' a shit. You have to observe the direction of transaction, are you giving or taking?
And if you're taking a shit, well where the hell are you taking it to, and why? 🤔
When my dogs poo while I'm walking them, I have to take their shit from someone's lawn to my garbage can if that counts.
Well clearly you've identified the problem. If your dogs poo every time you walk them, then stop walking them and they'll stop pooing, problem solved 👍
Everybody jokes but one day there's going to be a Cyberpunk|40kMechanicus|DeusEx market part for purchase, and the world will be further divided by those that need access to sewage and those that do not.
If I could buy an implant that compressed my shit into diamonds, I would be so happy.
Were you aware that even the butthole itself is an optional accessory that can be removed?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbvLk_R4kPU
Can't make this shit up 😂🤣
Shitting is so wasteful. People dont know that you just have to hold it in for a while, so your body can fully utilize it.
Source: I am voice actor for GTA 6.
Oh my god it's dickvamblerAU. Can you say "boop" for me?
Reading this shitting
We went from 3 days to infinity?
*until you die. Which I assume is not too much longer than 3 days.
Yeah but this is for all humans, so forever. (I guess you could say they would all die though.)
I'll be sending TP! Thoughts & Prayers 🙏
Im doing it right now, cope and seethe amirite
You all are so weird. I love it.
We need VaPOOrise
wait until they learn about eating. fucking revolting.
Some Lemmy advocacy does feel like this
Pro tip - Simply eat a light meal of shirataki noodles, around 200 Cal. With any luck you can form your very own bezoar and rid yourself of this addiction for the rest of your life.
Like that old Kids In The Hall sketch.
"WE WILL NOT BE TYRANNIZED BY OUR BLADDERS!"
I may be accidentally joining this ... um... movement
because I've been procrastinating squeezing out a loaf I've had in the chamber for a couple hours
I imagine myself completely exploding after about a week of not shitting. It's still gonna make a shitty mess everywhere.
gotta do as much disgusting shit as possible for the creepy watchers. this is what they get.
I prefer Humans Against Masturbating And Shitting
Yeah I'm a HAS-been supporter and I'm PROUD
ALL HAIL DIARRHEA!
I always leave it behind me. That tends to happen when your digestive system ends with your backside.