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Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
"You've got to love him -- he's your brother, after all."
Yeah, he's my brother who would get angry and destroy all my things when we were young, my brother who sexually abused my youngest sibling, my brother who launched into a homophobic rant against my mom during a time when she had cancer, a brother who cheated on and verbally and physically abused his first wife, a brother who probably drove my nephew to suicide.
No, fuck him. I don't love him, and I never will.
Yeah I'd say that's got to be triggering to hear. How do you respond to "advice" like that normally? Assuming it's from someone who actually knows your brother.
I never have any response that's likely to be edifying or helpful, so I typically respond with, "Well, I don't," and try to disengage. That's usually enough.
If you take a level of rogue you can disengage as a bonus action
Sounds like a good strategy. Less is more.
Some conversations are just not worth having, and I need to pick my battles
“Walk it off”
— coach
No, my torn ligaments need to rest and heal, asshole, not to endure further trauma. Get me some ice!
Puttin' it on ice, bitches
Take a salt tablet.
Anything regarding loyalty to an employer or insurance company
Hard work always pays off.
smart work always pays off
;) ftfy
Being born wealthy always pays off.
I knew there was something I forgot to do
"Undercover Cops have to tell you if they're a cop," or other variations I remember hearing all throughout high school.
Somehow though, organized crime hasn't figured out this one simple trick to ferreting out undercover cops in their midst, just ask them.
Also: "Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die."
that second one seems way outta left field to me, what kinda contexts is that used in?
Vaginas
A one word answer that covers so many questions.
"Calm down."
One thing that's sure to make things worse is to tell an angry person to "calm down"...
And the silly stepsister of this saying: Calm your tits!
Very useful when you want the opposite reaction.
YOLO
It's like a mantra for bad decision making. But it should really be used the opposite way. Like... I better put my seat belt on because YOLO.
Burn your garbage. Burning garbage makes smoke that goes up into the sky and becomes stars.
I wanna say its wrong but I don't know enough about star formation to dispute it?!
Really, EVERYTHING originated from star dust, so you're just returning it to the source!
Smoking cigarettes will suffocate the toxins in the apple skins sitting in your stomach.
if you ask a police officer for a piece of candy then legally they have to give you one
"Snitches get stitches."
How do you expect conflict resolution to work?
With stitches..
Don't try to bullshit me, I'm a bullshit artist.
If I ever told my dad, "are you shitting me?", he'd reply with, "I'd never shit you, you're my favorite turd."
Lol love that one. My uncle was the one that used the Bullshit line on me
My company switched up retirement plans and they held a seminar to explain them. The person running the seminar said that we should be putting 15% of our salaries into retirement.
Nice idea, but if I put 15% of my salary into retirement, then I wouldn't be able to pay my bills. I'm not living extravagantly or anything (buying something for $20 for my enjoyment seems like a splurge to me). Still, whenever I seem to be getting on a better financial footing, life throws me a curve ball. Need new hearing aids ($3,600). New a new dryer ($750). Might need a new car soon.
So either I need to be paid a lot more, I will be working until I'm 90, or I put away the money and go deep into debt but can retire. (Just kidding. I'm nearing 50. I likely won't have enough to retire. Maybe when I'm 80.)
I think a lot of people here misread 'favorite' as 'least favorite'
No cop, no stop.
If you cut the ground prong off and flip the plug upside down, it runs backwards.