We like to sit you down, and show you a menu. We take pride on our chewable, edible food. These little fellers here are silverware.
Microblog Memes
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
This (gestures expansively to a cup) is what we here like to call a cup! It’s frequently used to hold liquids such as water, which is exactly what I’ve just poured into it.
"Honey, they have drinking bowls with handles!"
"Babe, I think this place might be out of our price range. Why can't we just go to the place with tableside hamster bottles again?"
"Unlike many other restaurants, we offer a choice of beverages other than water. Some of those beverages will intoxicate you."
Neat!
The ones that amuse me are the restaurants that don’t do table service, but still have a multiple staff on the floor and door seemingly only to tell diners they don’t do table service.
The only thing worse is when they don't explain that, and you're stuck wondering why a waiter hasn't come over. Yes I understand that the QR code is a menu. No I don't think it's more efficient to change the concept of a "restaurant" after 5,000 years.
Best thing is, last place that did this had a unique "fusion" menu. It's not like the food was self-explanatory. So the waiters had to come to every table anyway, but it was hard to flag them down.
My experience:
"Oh, well, here you need to download an app, consent to everything the app wants to do and register with your phone number. Then you can order and walk to the kitchen to pick up the food you ordered. Also, leave a tip if you enjoyed the service."
At least around where I am, the places that use an app provide a tablet with that app to order on.
"We do family style, which means the portions are more than you can conceivably eat. That way you won't complain when we overcharge you by a factor of 10."
"We do ask that you not share..."
But if you do share, we'll be happy to charge a split plate fee.
I once went to a pizza place that had a slogan like "pizza done different" and you went through the a chipotle style line and picked out crust, sauce, toppings, then they made your pizza and gave it to you. I couldn't figure out that was any different from a regular place.
They fart on the dough.
So still nothing different?
If it's chipotle style, then I would assume there's more e. coli.
I know both Mod Pizza and Blaze Pizza do this, so yeah, it's not any different at all.
Well you see, we have mild AND spicy salsa.
Plot Twist: The spicy salsa is mid at best.
They used an onion to make it so hot.
Here at Restaurant, we offer "lonely singles style" dining. You order something you want to eat, and then you don't share it with anyone else. Unless they like, ask really politely for a bite, then that's on you. At the end of your meal, you ask for the check, then you wait like 20 minutes while going back and forth on whether you really need dessert or not, then you pay and leave!
Also you either pay us or up front. It's one or the other but we won't tell you until you flag us down and ask.
“You’ll be working front of the house. Your job is to walk around with these pitchers of ice water and ignore anyone who tries to get your attention”
I feel like this is basically every action horror story ever as well....
"Forget everything you've seen in the movies, the only way to kill a Vampire is put a stake through the heart! Guns are useless!"
Ugh, that's like D&D games where they're like, your character has no idea about what a vampire is because folklore doesn't exist in this universe so no one has ever shared a story ever.... even though the party has a bard who sings about things people have heard
Right? We don't need to spend 7 chapters of a 9 chapter story going "Why does this really old, really rich guy only come out at night and talk about not drinking wine!?!?!" When, the fucking cover of the story says "The Vampire Killer 3: The Vampire That Kills"
Where's the "we want plates" lemmy community? I loved that one on the other site.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
if your server is doing this it's because innumerable people before you have managed to fuck up eating out
Oh, y'all still have wait staff?
We have "digital kitchens" now: https://stories.whataburger.com/whataburger-debuts-new-digital-kitchen-all-the-flavor-with-more-convenience/
Same wait without the staff, tables . . . or blackjack
Placing your order ahead for pick up at the new Digital Pick-up Lane allows our teams in the restaurant, whom we call Family Members, to deliver fresh, made to order food while reducing your time in the drive thru.
jesus christ
or blackjack
What about the hookers? WHAT ABOUT THE HOOKERS?
@pizza used to have their own name for every ingredient and would correct you if you asked for something by its regular name
"I'll have a cheeseburger and-"
"Oh, you must mean our Cheesy Squeezy Chuck Burger"
Then they slide your silverware or straw over to you and say ...and there's that."
"Yes of course, that"
Yooo it's DC from Derrick comedy!
The only time I ever needed a waiter to explain how things worked was when I ate at a Paula Dean restaurant. That place did not work like a normal restaurant.
How was it different? How did it work?
People don't order individual meals. You order a meal for the whole table which is then brought out to the whole table to share. They provide unlimited refills of everything. So the whole table has to get together to decide what entree and sides they want. They don't let you take any leftovers home either. Everyone gets butter rolls and a dessert.
If you go to their site you can see the menu but your choices are a 2, 3, or 4 entree meal with 4 sides.
They don't let you take leftovers home? They gonna tackle me to the ground if I brought my own box?
How are there leftovers if there are no set portion sizes?
Sounds like Maggiano's except Maggiano's is Italian food, and when I've been there they not only allow you to take home leftovers, the wait staff encourages you to ask for more when you're done so you have some to take home.
Fogo de Chao is unusual, too. The options are whether you want the salad bar or not, and what beverage. Otherwise, you have a thing that's red on one side and green on the other. If you want the servers carrying different cuts of meat to stop by to offer you some to put on your plate, you flip that to red. If you're good, you flip to green.