this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2024
1026 points (97.9% liked)

Microblog Memes

8628 readers
3042 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 127 points 2 years ago (2 children)

We like to sit you down, and show you a menu. We take pride on our chewable, edible food. These little fellers here are silverware.

[–] don@lemm.ee 29 points 2 years ago (4 children)

This (gestures expansively to a cup) is what we here like to call a cup! It’s frequently used to hold liquids such as water, which is exactly what I’ve just poured into it.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Honey, they have drinking bowls with handles!"

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

"Babe, I think this place might be out of our price range. Why can't we just go to the place with tableside hamster bottles again?"

[–] limelight79@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago

"Unlike many other restaurants, we offer a choice of beverages other than water. Some of those beverages will intoxicate you."

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] thehatfox@lemmy.world 82 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The ones that amuse me are the restaurants that don’t do table service, but still have a multiple staff on the floor and door seemingly only to tell diners they don’t do table service.

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago (6 children)

The only thing worse is when they don't explain that, and you're stuck wondering why a waiter hasn't come over. Yes I understand that the QR code is a menu. No I don't think it's more efficient to change the concept of a "restaurant" after 5,000 years.

Best thing is, last place that did this had a unique "fusion" menu. It's not like the food was self-explanatory. So the waiters had to come to every table anyway, but it was hard to flag them down.

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 51 points 2 years ago (2 children)

My experience:

"Oh, well, here you need to download an app, consent to everything the app wants to do and register with your phone number. Then you can order and walk to the kitchen to pick up the food you ordered. Also, leave a tip if you enjoyed the service."

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

At least around where I am, the places that use an app provide a tablet with that app to order on.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 39 points 2 years ago (2 children)

"We do family style, which means the portions are more than you can conceivably eat. That way you won't complain when we overcharge you by a factor of 10."

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 20 points 2 years ago (4 children)

"We do ask that you not share..."

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

But if you do share, we'll be happy to charge a split plate fee.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] darganon@lemmy.world 34 points 2 years ago (5 children)

I once went to a pizza place that had a slogan like "pizza done different" and you went through the a chipotle style line and picked out crust, sauce, toppings, then they made your pizza and gave it to you. I couldn't figure out that was any different from a regular place.

[–] criitz@reddthat.com 37 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Most pizza places dont have a Chipotle style line I guess

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] wlsnt@reddthat.com 6 points 2 years ago

So still nothing different?

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

If it's chipotle style, then I would assume there's more e. coli.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

I know both Mod Pizza and Blaze Pizza do this, so yeah, it's not any different at all.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] recapitated@lemmy.world 32 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well you see, we have mild AND spicy salsa.

[–] xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Plot Twist: The spicy salsa is mid at best.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

They used an onion to make it so hot.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Here at Restaurant, we offer "lonely singles style" dining. You order something you want to eat, and then you don't share it with anyone else. Unless they like, ask really politely for a bite, then that's on you. At the end of your meal, you ask for the check, then you wait like 20 minutes while going back and forth on whether you really need dessert or not, then you pay and leave!

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Also you either pay us or up front. It's one or the other but we won't tell you until you flag us down and ask.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago

“You’ll be working front of the house. Your job is to walk around with these pitchers of ice water and ignore anyone who tries to get your attention”

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I feel like this is basically every action horror story ever as well....

"Forget everything you've seen in the movies, the only way to kill a Vampire is put a stake through the heart! Guns are useless!"

[–] EssentialCoffee@midwest.social 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ugh, that's like D&D games where they're like, your character has no idea about what a vampire is because folklore doesn't exist in this universe so no one has ever shared a story ever.... even though the party has a bard who sings about things people have heard

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago

Right? We don't need to spend 7 chapters of a 9 chapter story going "Why does this really old, really rich guy only come out at night and talk about not drinking wine!?!?!" When, the fucking cover of the story says "The Vampire Killer 3: The Vampire That Kills"

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 26 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Where's the "we want plates" lemmy community? I loved that one on the other site.

[–] PlantDadManGuy@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago

Be the change you want to see in the world.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 18 points 2 years ago

if your server is doing this it's because innumerable people before you have managed to fuck up eating out

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

we have something called a menu which you can choose your food from

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] LifeOfChance@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But if you say yes they say the same speal to remind you

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JoseALerma@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

Oh, y'all still have wait staff?

We have "digital kitchens" now: https://stories.whataburger.com/whataburger-debuts-new-digital-kitchen-all-the-flavor-with-more-convenience/

Same wait without the staff, tables . . . or blackjack

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Placing your order ahead for pick up at the new Digital Pick-up Lane allows our teams in the restaurant, whom we call Family Members, to deliver fresh, made to order food while reducing your time in the drive thru.

jesus christ

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

or blackjack

What about the hookers? WHAT ABOUT THE HOOKERS?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] perviouslyiner@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

@pizza used to have their own name for every ingredient and would correct you if you asked for something by its regular name

[–] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"I'll have a cheeseburger and-"

"Oh, you must mean our Cheesy Squeezy Chuck Burger"

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (7 children)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] justabigemptyhole@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Then they slide your silverware or straw over to you and say ...and there's that."

"Yes of course, that"

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

proceeds to bite into spoon

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] riquisimo@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Yooo it's DC from Derrick comedy!

[–] DharkStare@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The only time I ever needed a waiter to explain how things worked was when I ate at a Paula Dean restaurant. That place did not work like a normal restaurant.

[–] radix@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

How was it different? How did it work?

[–] DharkStare@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago (3 children)

People don't order individual meals. You order a meal for the whole table which is then brought out to the whole table to share. They provide unlimited refills of everything. So the whole table has to get together to decide what entree and sides they want. They don't let you take any leftovers home either. Everyone gets butter rolls and a dessert.

If you go to their site you can see the menu but your choices are a 2, 3, or 4 entree meal with 4 sides.

Paul Deen's Family Kitchen

[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago (3 children)

They don't let you take leftovers home? They gonna tackle me to the ground if I brought my own box?

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

How are there leftovers if there are no set portion sizes?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Sounds like Maggiano's except Maggiano's is Italian food, and when I've been there they not only allow you to take home leftovers, the wait staff encourages you to ask for more when you're done so you have some to take home.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] limelight79@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Fogo de Chao is unusual, too. The options are whether you want the salad bar or not, and what beverage. Otherwise, you have a thing that's red on one side and green on the other. If you want the servers carrying different cuts of meat to stop by to offer you some to put on your plate, you flip that to red. If you're good, you flip to green.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›