Kiwi_fella

I'm silently stressing out currently because I'm worried my relationship will end.

My partner and I have had a lot of struggles over the past year, if not longer. My partner's oldest child has got into so much unfortunate and serious trouble - police visit, hospital visits, self-harm, suicide watches, rape, drug and alcohol use - and they have only just turned 15. All of this has brought our relationship to the brink, and last year we broke up, but just for a short while.

During the break up, I wanted to feel like someone wanted me, so I signed up to a dating app, and even organised a date. The date was terrible for me as the person was someone who I've met before at a house party of a friend of my then ex. I didn't realise initially but the date recognised me when we met in person. It was too much for me, so I ended the date early and went back to the place I was staying and cried. I didn't tell my then ex I had a date, because I didn't think I had to as we had broken up. I deleted my app account and focused on getting right with myself.

My partner and I ended up resolving things, got back together, and have been working on being a strong couple despite the adversity. We've been doing great, and have both changed dramatically to be loving and supportive of each other.

Just recently, my partner went to their friend's kid's birthday party while I was travelling for work - the same friend who is friends with the date person. The friend almost insisted on having a private catch up with my partner, which was scheduled for last Friday. My partner ended up cancelling because of sickness and the situation with their kid has got worse. In text exchanges with their friend (my partner told me), who was pissed off at the meet up being cancelled, the friend asked, "How is your relationship?. We both remarked that this was strange. This friend is someone my partner usually only sees once a year, so they aren't close. My partner spilled the beans on what's been going on with the kid, and the friend replied with," I'll give you some breathing space."

I am now spiralling in my head, as I had forgotten about the date, but it all came rushing back. We hadn't told anybody we broke up, so I'm thinking this person heard about the date and thinks I was doing the sneaky behind my partner's back, and so wants to spill the beans.

This is really not the time for them to do this, or to do this ever. The kid has just been raped again, because they got drunk, and went out trying to find someone to give them drugs, and the worse happened. They disappeared for 12 hours, and we spent a good chunk of that charging around our city looking for them. There is just so much going on, that my partner finding out I went on a date would actually knock them down despite how we are together right now and the circumstance at the time.

We don't need any more stress in our life, and even if I think I didn't do anything wrong, this would not go down well. My partner is so worked up at the moment, anything more would knock them down. Under normal circumstances, I would talk to them about it, but the situation we are in is far from normal.

So I'm stressed. There is not a plan for my partner to meet this person again, but it'll happen at some stage. If what I suspect is true, I know this friend is trying to do the right thing, but I wish they would butt out. My/our private life is not someone else to think they can interfere with, despite what they think are good intentions.

I'm just getting this off my chest so it's not only sitting in my head.