LeylaLove

So I have a trans friend who wants to stay complete anonymous, who just recently had their power shut off. I do not actually know this person full frontal, my AA sponsor just mentioned this to me. If my sponsor trusts someone, I trust them. Take this as you will. Also if you're adjusted to sending money to my accounts, we're sending all the money to my sponsor for anonymity of the recipient. If you want to send it my way over PayPal instead of DMing, I'll make sure it gets to them.

The recipient has stated that they had their power cut off after being 50 pence short of their power bill. Because of that, there's a minimum 25 pound + "fees" cost to getting the power back on. They're really scared right now, and I told my sponsor I'd check here.

Like I said, even if you've previously sent to me, DM me for the payment info so I can make sure they get them money. They only have PayPal, so that's easy enough to just send to me, but Cashapp and Venmo are a different beast entirely.

I make one at work, and it confusing as hell to me. For those of you who don't know, a club sandwich standardly contains lettuce, tomato, ham, turkey, bacon, and some sort of mayo based sauce. Its gimmick is that it's a sandwich on top of a sandwich, using 3 pieces of bread instead of the standard 2. Instead of being something that you can realistically take a bite of, the club sandwich specializes in being absolutely fucking impossible to take a bite out of. Do club sandwich enjoyers just completely unhinge their jaw and schmack like they're in Scooby Doo? What does the third piece of bread even add to the sandwich other than more height? Why don't you add a 4th piece of bread and just have 2 sandwiches?

At work, we cut them in quarters and put sticks through 2 quarters, making a kebab of sandwich. I literally cannot imagine how these fuckers eating this are doing it. Eating a sandwich like corn on the cob is a disturbing thought, but possible. This is one of the dumbest pieces of food I can ever imagine

I'm looking into starting DIY, I really just can't wait any longer. However, I am absolutely terrified of needles. I won't be able to shoot myself up with it. I'm looking into the forms of estrogen, and it appears that I can buy the form used for estradiol pills. But I'm finding very little information on DIY that isn't focused on injections. I'm thinking about making a water solution and just taking it out of a dropper, but I know I'd need a preservative to keep it safe for a long time.

Life is so bad right now. Everything is fucking awful. But things could have been a lot more awful. I posted on here last night begging for someone to talk me into taking my psych meds and someone did it. They even worked with the stupid parameters mentally ill me set up for myself. I never expected anybody to send me money for cigarettes. But that pack of smokes got me back on my anti-psychotics

I really don't know what I'd do without you guys. When this website is down, it is genuinely painful. I understand why the site goes down, it has to happen, but I look forward to seeing the Hexbear front page than I do for anything else in my life. I hate to imagine how much worse things would have been in my life over the past few years without Hexbear. People on here have shown up for me more than anybody else. Thank you guys so much

Yeah, what the title says. I absolutely never lie about how I spend the money I receive on here. I can get one for less than $5, but would really prefer to get a $5 packs. You guys have seen me post often enough, I always try to make it clear how important something is or isn't. I'm going to level with you all, my life is going absolutely terribly right now. I am currently drunk writing this because I relapsed this week. I haven't taken my psych meds in days, I've just been drinking through the withdrawals. I already got my stepkids covered, they have food and all their needs covered, y'all know I do my best for those fuckers. No starving kids this time. If someone has a starving kid, please ignore me.

I used to have a habit to smoke a ciggy every time I took one of my psych meds. Not a healthy habit, but it got me to take my psych meds. I've finally middle grounded myself to "I'll get back on meds if I can get a cigarette." and no way to get cigs. I normally wouldn't be so dramatic about some smokes, but I know if I don't get back on my shit I'm going to end up dying by my own hand. I can't keep going without meds. I need to make this negotiation with myself.

DM me for any payment info, and if you guys just wanna try to convince me to actually take the meds that'd probably be about as good as money. I feel so bad asking for something so stupid, but I need to start taking my meds again. This is going to ruin my life again if I can't stop it.

I have schizophrenia, a condition that fights itself being treated. I do pretty well on the meds. I'm pretty happy on the meds. But I still want to just abandon them and go all the way into being an addict until death. Part of me just doesn't want to do well. No matter how solid the solid becomes, I feel this deep need for these massive good and bad swings. I don't just need the highs of the psychotic mania, I need the lows too. A part of me wants to eat my hand again.

I've gone about a week without my anti-psychotic. I'm kinda split on whether or not I should take it tonight. I know this may seem like too much, but please convince me to take my meds

I hate how cheap alcohol is. It's always have 50 cents for a shot around here, so I always have the money for it. Whatever quarters are in my purse is my alcohol fund. It feels like just being drunk and hiding it from everybody is the best path. I stopped taking my anti-psychotic days ago. I'm fucking up a lot of progress I made right now. Alcohol doesn't make me angry or anything like that, it just makes me recenter my entire life around it. It makes me only care about getting more drunk. I hate everything rn. Sorry for the rant guys, I just really needed to get it off my chest.

Title

I budgeted shit out pretty much perfectly this week. Gas in the tank and food in the fridge. This is an unimportant post. Even used some change to pick up my new zoloft perscription, which has been fantastic so far. I have shit I need to do today, like writing out recipes and cleaning and just can't get the energy up, and I haven't bought coffee in ages because it's expensive. PM me for payment info, I appreciate it a lot.

Edit: someone got me! I really appreciate you guys

My ex bought us tickets to go see the Flaming Lips because that's our band. We're broken up now, but still going to the concert together tonight. I haven't been to a show since middle school and don't know shit about concerts. Is there anything I should know before going?