When I last met an australian they showed me this helpful little ditty to teach me about Ibises. [CW: australian, so c word shows up]
ProfessorOwl_PhD
joined 2 years ago
I had both of these in A-level biology somehow. One week we were taught by the ex nurse who was constantly exasperated by us not knowing stuff like how coronary bypass surgeries are performed, and the next a former primary school teacher who would have us doing cutting and sticking exercises on ATP transfer or DNA sequencing. Neither particularly improved our understanding of biology.
I mean it's meant to be illegal in Austria, but I still saw a fuckload of Nazis when I went to a football game there.
Archer has to infiltrate a top secret russian lab to find the technology they're using. Barry finds out and destroys half the lab trying to stop Archer. When he eventually finds the right lab, it's a kreiger clone working on the device, but he can't get it to work because they got the idea from the reports of havana syndrome. Back in the US the agency finds out the CIA already know it's just migraines but are playing up the threat for political reasons, and recall Archer.
Stinger shows the Kreiger clone is just temporarily standing in for actual Kreiger, who says something about it just being a hobby project when asked if trying to make the device counts as treason.
"Dead meat is hung, live meat is hanged." Turns out most people's grandma's aren't radical leftist english teachers.
You can drop some calories with minimal flavour difference by swapping the mayonniase for jizz.
PF2e Goblin Inventor with Torch Goblin and Scalding Spit ancestry feats, Explosive Leap, Searing Restoration, Distracting Explosions, and Explosive Manouvre class feats.
You attack by exploding. You push and trip by exploding. You move by exploding. You heal by exploding. You interrupt spells... by exploding. And if all those explosions don't work, you can set yourself on fire and hawk flaming loogies at people.
It should also be noted that Corbyn had a larger share of votes and almost 3 million more raw votes than starmer just swept the country on.
Mouth is a sausage and ears are bacon, if you're still unsure.
If you want the same vibe as Butts Tits Money you probably want The Government Knows [CW: flashing lights, government violence, blood, sexy presidents], as much of their stuff is less intense. If you want way, way, waywaywayway more intense Lois Cole is also one of the members of Clown Core.
Starmer has given his most sincere assurances that they have no plans to.
It's taken a few weeks to start moving peices (that is, the party finally stopped picking fights with librarians long enough to measure time in hours rather than rounds), but since their second night of resting after the murders they have been the targets of Nightmare spells, twisting their dreams. Unfortunately that's just been a soft chorus of clucking as they keep succeeding on the will saves, but it did prompt a round of worried discussion between the characters about whether chickens have souls.
After a new round of preparations they ventured back into the Gauntlight and started picking fights with librarians again. Also they tried to contradict a ghost administrator and got ghost slapped into purgatory for a moment, but eventually they got back en-route towards the first chicken ghost encounter: the smashed remnants of Krrrterra, who was obliterated with a landslide. Impressively, their first instinct was to go for diplomacy, apologising for killing it, and asking what they could do to help it move on to the afterlife. With a speak with animals spell and a critical success on a diplomacy check, I couldn't just have the chicken fly into a panic and cause a fight, so engaged in dialogue.
There were four issues here though: One, while ghosts are normally animated by unfinished business and can only be permanently put to rest by making right the injustices that created them, these ghosts are mostly reanimated by the giant spooky lighthouse that shoots beams of ghosts, so the primary answer is to destroy the 20th level artifact (they are currently level 4). Two, even without the lighthouse, they're motivated by revenge against their killers, so the secondary answer is for the party to be killed by the chicken ghosts. Three, ghosts are often unaware or in denial about their own deaths, nevermind what is needed to put them to rest. And four, chickens are not particularly capable of higher level thought, so the only thing their questioning actually established is that it wanted to eat some worms.
So they hit it with positive energy damage until it dissipated. It wasn't a difficult fight, a single PL-1 enemy, because even as a ghost a chicken isn't much of a threat (on its own), but it did teach them some embarrassing lessons about weapons attacks and incorporeal creatures while minorly inconveniencing them, as planned. The ghost chickens have been established as a fun callback, and soon a running joke. Once they start coming back (and in greater numbers), we'll have some good horror cooking and can really start the emotional rollercoaster, but I have to be sparse with details until future updates, as the Goblin Sorcerer's player is reading and I don't want to spoil too much for him.
New Art
It's bad. You wanna see some cool ghost chicken tokens, go back to the first post. First up, we have Krrrrterra, who was hit with a landslide:
get it? because she was... squashed. It doesn't get better.
Hyppokoko, bludgeoned and drowned by a blast of tsunami:
the file name is wetghost.png. like seriously i got no idea
And finally, and most [CW: meat]ly, Brrrkit, who was incinerated by a beam of pure heat:
I'm sorry.
Mechanics
Applying the ghost template to a basic bird statblock didn't get me close to an appropriate challenge for the party, so I altered a ghost commoner statblock in different ways for all chickens. Krrrterra had the weak template applied, the Kinetic Assault ghost ability added, and a handful of minor additions and changes:
46
oky ghost chickens and it's so fucking stupid.
So they found the Dooms of Tomorrow in B29 and after some experimentation determined that the Annihilation Beams were specifically triggered by creatures passing by rather than having a physical trigger that could be interacted with. Their first plan to disarm the hazards ended with the inventor's construct companion getting Annihilation Beam'd into lots of tiny little pieces, so they decided to buy some chickens and lob them in. They were hit with beams of pure tsunami, inferno, earthquake, monster, and undead. First two were pretty easy, I went with falling debris for the third, big godzilla hand for the fourth, and void energy for the last. Gonna be real with you, the description is "From Monster" and I just don't know how that works as a beam.
The thing is, quite apart from the ethical issue of throwing a defenseless animal into something called an annihilation beam, the whole campaign explicitly revolves around a spooky lighthouse that makes undead. I've been more subtley referencing it through various random encounters, but the first big event of the story is the lighthouse shooting a giant beam of light that creates undead where it lands. And there are a bunch of haunts and undead inside. Like there's basically a sign over the entrance saying "Undead made here". So now the chickens' ghosts need revenge on their murderers.
Honestly, no idea where I'm gonna go with this, but I've made tokens for an undead ghost chicken and a kaiju ghost chicken, so I'll give them some nightmares next time they go to sleep and see where that takes us.
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Red Tories have indicated an absolute commitment to maintaining the status quo, which is why I've been saying for the past few months that the government after this one will be reform regardless of the outcome of the recent election.
And let's be real, we completely deserve it.