PurrLure
HEY SHITTY MOBILE GAME ADS!
Maybe I WANT the king to die painfully over and over again, ever think about that shitheads???
Next time break out the cartoon guillotine and nobles shitting themselves as they have to earn an honest living on a farm. 
So... what are the odds that bird flu is the next global pandemic?
You did it! You fit the entirety of liberalism all in one image.
Are you proud of yourself? 
Nice guys logic cranked up to 100.
I’m so disappointed in myself this morning.
My body couldn’t wait to shit at work, so now I’m wasting prep time at home doing it. 😔
Congrats, you go girl! 
If you've got time to hang out with him for awhile do it right after you tell him the truth.
I'm not that great with other people but if he's a danger to himself it's possible he's a danger to others too. I wouldn't just leave that to fester on its own. So you'll need to monitor him for a day and make a judgement call from there.
I just took your advice, and now my life is in pieces...
spoiler
By which I mean pieces of shit in the toilet and now I feel great! YEAAAAAAH!
A weight has been lifted from my doo doo ass, and I did it all on the clock babeeeee. 
They just had us do corporate affirmations over a teams meeting first thing this morning. Thankfully I was on mute because I couldn't stop laughing. I can't say the exact lines but it was something like:
"When we work together we make outcomes that affect our company" 
They also kept talking about teamwork like it was some sort of secret??? 5 basic workplace practices that will blow upper management overlords away (Number 4 is a secret shhhhh) Naturally bootlickers were slurping it up in the chat. Only after did the actual meeting start.