drbollocks

i'm extremely mentally ill, with bad mood swings. i'm disordered. i exaggerate everything. i lie a lot and feel like i can't stop, like an addiction. i'm trying to stop. that's why i'm telling the truth right now.

my imagination feels better than reality sometimes. i lied once about being in a coma from a plane crash and got berated for it by my school social worker because i obviously lied, but it was a form of expression to me.

my feelings for my girlfriend and past relationships were never pure love. they were obsession. i got attached too quickly and my feelings became an attachment/obsession i'm trying to work on. i have a fear of abandonment. my love for them isn't pure it feels like, it's mixed with mud.

my “friends” would often pretend to like me while talking behind my back and later threatening me to my face, yelling at me, and saying rude things like that i should die because i tried to start a conversation with them. i later found out they were only pretending to like me and they “pitied me so they were just trying to be nice because they’re nice people”.

they also hated that i was autistic and would constantly bully people different like autistic people and furries.

the person who bullied autistic people and furries also tried to get me to pass a ball, got mad when it flew over my head, and in a rage, tried to throw it at my head.

this person constantly goes into rages. they get angry very easily to the point of raging and become very violent, insulting me, threatening me, and trying to hurt me, i believe.

is this average bullying behavior? that’s all, i’m just curious.

my "friends" would often pretend to like me while talking behind my back and later threatening me to my face, yelling at me, and saying rude things like that i should die because i tried to start a conversation with them. i later found out they were only pretending to like me and they "pitied me so they were just trying to be nice because they're nice people".

they also hated that i was autistic and would constantly bully people different like autistic people and furries.

the person who bullied autistic people and furries also tried to get me to pass a ball, got mad when it flew over my head, and in a rage, tried to throw it at my head.

this person constantly goes into rages. they get angry very easily to the point of raging and become very violent, insulting me, threatening me, and trying to hurt me, i believe.

is this average bullying behavior? that's all, i'm just curious.

maybe not exactly, but there was this one girl that bullied me for my various conditions, including my autism, and called me multiple slurs. she bullied and "abused" me every day. one time, she got mad because i couldn't pass a volleyball to her that went over my head. she told me i was bad at volleyball, that my only existence was to suck, and told me to stand still. she then proceeded to violently try to throw the ball at my head and body multiple times, each time failing or me dodging.

it honestly grosses me out and pisses me off, i’ve been severely bullied for my disorders. that’s it, just wanted to rant for a bit.

there, i said it.

it sounds mean to say, but going off of what "dave" has told me, i really don't like how his dad sounds. his dad is very homophobic and transphobic.

there was one incident when we were 17 where dave's dad had to sign a form and it said "gender:" with the options "male", "female", and "non-binary". he freaked out.

he also forbade us to hang out at a youth center because he saw two teenage girls hugging and assumed they were in a lesbian relationship.

he got mad at dave for saying hi to a girl from his school because she had bright pink hair and he assumed she was a lesbian because of the hair (apparently, he guessed right but still.)

in fifth grade, i remember dave had a crush on me and he told dave not to associate with me because i was "ugly" and "he could find better friends".

i wonder how he would feel about ME, his son's best friend, if he ever found out i was a lesbian/bi. he already doesn't like me and thinks i'm in love with dave, he's gonna hate me a lot more when he finds out i'm in a wlw relationship.

whenever dave's dad sees me, though, he has the nerve to say hi and smile.

just wanted to share this.

dunno if any of y'all remember me, but i'm drbollocks. you may call me charlotte. i was struggling with my mental health but i eventually got better and wanted to come back to lemmy, which i kinda forgot about, to share the news :)

currently i take abilify 2mg and it’s helping!! yay me!! 🎉

im so goooddd!!!! :DD

thank you, my handsome boyfriend ❤️

thank you, my family 💕

thank you, strangers 🧡

thank you, friends 💛

my life has been so great because of you. i think this is my time. my own self-preservation instincts kicked in, that’s the only reason im not dead yet.

i love you, i love you. thank you, thank you, thank you thank you thank you 🙏 😊 ❤️

like “supporting” someone with adhd but hating them and believing they should be shunned or treated differently for interrupting others, not paying attention, and not being able to sit still, rather than try to help them or tell them not to interrupt the conversation.

or “supporting” deaf people but getting mad because they only talk sign language and can’t hear what you say.

I have quite a few disorders and i’ve been talked abt and treated like shit for it, and not just because I have the disorder but because im different. I don’t fit in anywhere and never will.

all of my “friends” talk shit abt me and my disabilities, and then one person is always like “oh yeah, this person said this about you and they hate that you can’t pay attention, and that person says you should jump off a cliff!”