erin

joined 2 weeks ago
[–] erin@quokk.au 2 points 1 hour ago

"russia is so clean!!!!" "russia is so safe!!!!!" - until you are pressed by govrenment itself
"look at moscow high tech megapolis!!!" - putin turns off internet and you cant even go to public toilet, and moscow is not regions
"there no graffiti!"
"look! there no homeless!! ININNN GAYROPE every is homeless and pooor" - idk what to say here but in russia europe is gayrope
"look at our IT products!!!!" - all by govrenment which watching you
"loook gosuslugi is so good!!!" - same as above

quotes of russian putinists

I DONT NEED IT ALL I WANT FREEDOM

as example - i hate how our digital medical system control me every doctor can see how much i have disorders etc which THEY DONT NEED, why therapist can see what for example put on me neurologist or endocrinologist? at least for now they dont see psychiatric stampts but other psychs can see stampts from other psychs

[–] erin@quokk.au 1 points 18 hours ago

how the fuck on 341 pg estro, LH increased to 2.40 while it stable zero even on 120pg... maybe its just lab error or every day flustrations im on transdermal E

 

prev post
a little worried that T go up or convert to DHT because of LH 2 mMe
maybe 3/4 of pump twice or just 1/2
0.75 mg twice give me too much 467 pg estradiol but LH 0
also i shouldnt take blood from hand what i use to apply oestrogel
but i should take bloodtest again after some time because it can be just flustration and there only month when i lowered the dose

in september 120 pg on 0.75 mg once fully suppressed HPG axis LH 0

overall i feel very good so is main marker that is just flustration and if is only elevated a little bit pre application isnt that bad because SHBG suppress free T and i should apply new dose roungly after 24 hours

my skin little bit more worse lately but i think because my skin is sensitive to skincare on estro

i mostly use only water to clean my face and woa skin soft and pretty (estrogen is magic) but if i use something my skin get worse
eg cleaning soap for face two diffrent and my pores isnt that clean
also used some GOOD cream and no is much worse feeling like my skin is oily, tonic are also useless

 

one year of normal mental health, no worrying aabout masculinization

hope second year will be even better

i looked a photos prehrt before HOLY SHIT hair structure changed and hair looks much more better now

also i have now much more healtly weight and no anorexia
my appetite is normal

i was 50kg, now im 66kg and it looks, ok all fat mostly go to hips and face is skinnier than 50kg on te$t..ne (im ~162 cm) also psych pills gained appetite a little bit but now i fixed that

everything is better, face much more girly and cute

[–] erin@quokk.au 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

rate my pants \3

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[–] erin@quokk.au 4 points 1 day ago

hoodie and jeans is often very super masc, so being able to still be perceived as pretty in them is super super heartwarming hehe TYSMM but body and face still feminine and cute :3

[–] erin@quokk.au 4 points 1 day ago

i dont get at all
maybe because my region culture
but sometimes "девушка" (young women)
funny that i never get called a boy men last year

i remember child said "тётя" (aunt) but him mother said "это дядя" and he said "тётя" again, so cute, im think child saying what they feel and doesnt look to clotches and every mm of skull

[–] erin@quokk.au 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

and also worried that is increase sex drive,
I HATE IT

 

im interesting in additionally suppressing HPG axis without super high E(can cause mood swings)

what other benefits of prog?

im worried about converting into DHT in liver via oral route(i dont like rectal method.....)

[–] erin@quokk.au 6 points 1 day ago (5 children)

WHY U SO CUTE? even in work outfit

[–] erin@quokk.au 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

or surgeron or go into medical uni and get friends surgerons

[–] erin@quokk.au 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] erin@quokk.au 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

also i cant not assign gender to animal because of russian which has grammatical gender, Mary jumped would be "мэри прыгнуЛА" in feminine form or tishka "тишка прыгнуЛ", so there everything is gendered so i have a habbit, word dog is by default in feminine form "собакА" word puppy only in masculine form "щёноК", cats are also gendered , male cat is "кот" female cat "кошка" , tiger, male "тигр", female "тигрица", also profession names exclusivly in male form , eg there only "психолог"(psycholog) "водитель"(driver), "психологиня" sounds weird and usually as insult "водительница" never heard this word, but we have in everyday use "уборщица" (feminine form cleaner)...... everything is overgendered, but random people doesnt gender me at all to unknown or higher status people we say "вы" not "он" "она" is unrespectful usually threaded as insult, yes ppl can say "мужчина" (men) "молодой человек" "парень" (young men) or "мальчик" (boy), or "женщина" (women) or "девушка" (young women) or "девочка" (girl), but i never heard is outside atleast in my region, my region native language is bashkort and in tatar and bashkort no fucking pronouns no gendering only "ул сулей" (they saying), russian language lesson... also seems like french is gendered

im really hope that im not misgendering cats , how to speak with them? okay they dont care they not in human society, but what if tishka feel gender dysphoria about not having balls and testosterone after orchie?

 

left is 7mo girl Mary, right is 8yo boy Tishka

 

i live in russia now

honestly i hate all govrenments, idea of bordering humans etc
nowhere i will be good all life, nowhere is good
everywhere fucking capitalists and shitty politics

and what if i move spending 5464653364 euros to good country and i dont will even have right for vote and right wing idiots win by shitty losungs in 15s videos from tiktok etc etc
the example is US

i dont care in which fucking country i live everywhere is bad ppl and good ppl and there no wrong nations

 

i looked up photo was pre hrt
holy im cute girl now vs depressed boy with long hair
estradiol really helps mental health more stronger than lot of psych meds but yes slowly but even after a month i feel much better
no fucking erections no fucking muscle grow in no fucking strong jaw muscles no no no no, fuck te$t0$ter0ne i hope i get more changes after second year of hrt

 

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i got new bloodtest results with just 0.75 mg morning
estradiol 341 pg
SHBG 96 nmol
and interesting moment
LH 2.4, testostreone 2,9 nmol
usually LH is 0 and T is near zero
but seems like a just day to day variation especially with that SHBG free testosterone is near zero
also because of more circle shape of pituitary gland in MRI i checked more pituitary gland hormones and they are okay

also cool moment that i can use chosen name & gender in my lab so reference numbers are right

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at right side they more slim and solid (more feminine?) at left they squishy and less controllable

that happened to anyone before?

 

0.75 mg/morning - 439 pmol(120pg) before next application and 0.64 nmol shitty hormone, no AA, LH <0.12 mMe

0.75 mg/twice - 469 pg(before next dose), 0.642 nmol, LH <0.30 mMe - most recent test at diffrent lab

then i lowered back to one pump because too much estrogen

this so awesome especially i can buy oestrogel w/o prescription at any pharmacy

32
do i pass? (quokk.au)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by erin@quokk.au to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

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sometimes dysphoric about face idk but sometimes not
8 days and im roungly a year on HRT

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