goldteeth

Man, fuck this horseshit.

This is a Bat-Terry!

So that in 20 years you don't get a sudden epidemic of disaffected young Gojiras and Katamaris decking their parents with a shovel?

Tell you what, I betcha my cousin Aniken^(sic)^ Skywalker Goldteeth woulda really appreciated having something like that over here back in '04.

It used to be serious. It still is, but it used to be, too.

Man, that "was" really got my hopes up for a minute.

Alright, so you probably can't get rid of it, but you can make it look like it's defective. Make it look like it's sending way too many false positives. Find somewhere where you can get away with making obvious mistakes and then make like fifty of them in a row. "Why would I, an intelligent human being, just sit in the middle of an empty street doing donuts in an 18-wheeler for 10 straight minutes? I have a job to do," you say. If you got one of those "constantly monitoring everything you say" things Amazon tried rolling out, just start spouting random gibberish. Some pencil-pusher at HQ sees a transcript come back that just says "reptile shoestring meridian front sawdust henway ball Amtrak septuagint ladder correct horse battery staple java thorpe 2 Chainz" over and over for like 40 pages, worst-case scenario he's not gonna read it, best-case scenario he's gonna think the company's paying way too much for shit that don't work.

The sewage was no doubt very upset to see its creek being contaminated by RFK Jr.

somehow, inexplicably, "Down Under" by Men at Work.

Ugh. Hate when that happens.

You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...! I lost my train of thought.

as performed by 😭s 4 😱s

I have an associate's degree from a community college that rebranded their "general studies" program to the "arts and sciences" program to fudge their numbers for a bigger STEM endowment, so... do I just wait for them at the airport, or what?