Update plus a new request.
Turns out my girlfriend's health issues are because she's so stressed she's just not eating. We knew this was a problem but didn't realize how bad it has gotten. She's going through a divorce with kids involved and it's not been going super well. She barely gets to see her kids and it's obviously really causing her issues.
To give a more general view into my life, I'm currently trying to work towards a bigger, non-student apartment (I'm definitely not a student, just broke) so that we can get her kids and not have to depend on her mother. We need a car too so we have more agency and freedom when we have them, plus hopefully open up another income stream delivering food/groceries or something. But with her health issues, my girlfriend has been unable to work basically at all. She's new at her job but they've been surprisingly patient.
I'm not angling for enough money to do all that. But there's just too much to pay for. I'm burning out and feeling tired and overwhelmed. I work full time and it doesn't feel like enough. I'm working towards a management position but that is at least a year away. I'll get some sort of raise in August but my health insurance is about to kick in, which will absorb most/half of said raise. I'm 32 and am basically starting life over for the umpteenth time.
I'm just stressed and broke, y'all. I love you all and appreciate whatever you can do. I know it's rough out here for everyone.
Thank you comrades!
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Didn't read all the replies but here is how I used to do it.
Drink a lot of water the night before and day of. Don't get water poisoning but get real close. You want as much of your piss to be water as possible.
Take a couple B12 vitamins a couple hours before the test. They will make you piss yellow even if it's all water.
That said, you might still be fucked. I've used this method to pass a test in under 24 hours but YMMV. My metabolism is ridiculous.
Good luck, comrade.