nirodhaavidya

Staring Jenna Jameson, Roxy Saint, & Robert Englund! This movie is a treasure in our house. It's humor is crude and gratuitous. Letterboxd | IMDB

We've been together for 20 years and married for 15. We're a great couple, the kind our friends think of as "couple goals". We rarely fight and when we do it's normally over something trivial. And almost never about money.

We tend to be frugal and usually discuss things before making any large purchases. I became disabled about a decade ago and she's been the "bread-winner" of the family. She works hard and I'm proud of her. With the sudden contraction in income we had to file bankruptcy about 7 yrs ago and we've been good about staying out of debt since.

I handle the finances of the house, which really just means I file our taxes and check our bank statements. Yesterday, I was trying to reconcile our bank statement and trying to build a budget using our banks new software. This required me to categorize these transactions, which is a pain when a lot of them just say Amazon or PayPal. So I go digging into this only to discover she has two PayPal accounts and one is carrying $2500 in debt! We're not well-off people and that's a lot of money.

I was heart-broken. It was like my soul was just sucked out of my body. I felt something between anger and disappointment. I couldn't believe it. She must have noticed my sudden shock and saw what I was looking at because she began to reassure me that she's about to pay $600 towards it. I didn't reply. I went for a long walk to clear my head.

We still haven't spoken about it yet. I don't know what to do. I'm not mad anymore but I'm so deflated. We were supposed to be partners in all things. We don't even buy each other gifts without conferring usually it's just a joint anniversary gift.

To make matters worse, I can understand how she'd do it. She's got impulse control problems because of her untreated ADHD. She tends to self-medicate with alcohol to unwind and likes "retail-therapy" for self-soothing. She also has rejection sensitivity and is aggressively defensive. So even asking her about this may cause an involuntary lashing-out. But I must. I just don't want to.

This is driving me nutty. I've got a Netgear Nighthawk router. It is set up with two WiFi SSIDs one for 2.4 and 5 GHz. Both are set to DHCP. I've got about 30 devices connected at any given time. Most of those are my smart bulbs, which are all connected on the 2.4 GHz channel. Occasionally, and seemingly randomly, my phones will drop connection and will not be able to reconnect. The phone can see the SSID broadcast for my network, it will attempt a connection, but the connection will be refused. I've tried forgetting and reconnecting to the network on my phone but that does nothing. I've tried a static IP, nope. The only thing that resolves it is restarting the router.

Whenever the routers reboots, it will deny all attempted connections unless I turn off all my smart bulbs and reconnect one at a time. If I do this I can get everything connected. But eventually my phone will get disconnected, usually from leaving the network range, and then won't be able to reconnect.

To make matters worse, I can't connect to the router via the gateway address, which I'm certain is correct. Neither the IP nor the netgear RouterLogin.net connect to the router's maintenance portal. I've been using the Nighthawk app to manage my network, which is limited to say the least.

I could use some helpful advice here. I'm about to just chuck the thing and get a new router.

Hypothetically, if someone were to download a Steam game from FG what's the best operating procedure to avoid being Steam banned? For example, I understand that steam_api.dll will often be quarantined by MS Defender because the game uses a modded version of that file. Once it's restored what steps would you take to proceed? Log out of steam? Disable internet access? Kill all Steam processes?