spirinolas

Back in 2019, I was broken up by my ex which pretty much destroyed me. Well, long story short...2 years later I met someone and against my best judgement we entered a relationship.

Today that relationship ended and, just like last time right before the 4 year mark. Except this time...it was pretty much mutual and while I did fight to the very end it was out of stubbornness. I was checked out for a while now. And while I do feel sad I didn't expected this huge relief.

You see, Patty was, deep down, a good person. That's why I took a chance with her and ended up together for almost 4 years. But from day one, she showed some serious SERIOUS emotional problems.

Patty had a temper. A really bad temper. Any kind of frustration or, god forbid, criticism was responded with evil eyes, silent treatment or outbursts. Communication was very difficult. It was really ridiculous. It did improve after the first year. But it was always a problem until our last fight that lead to the break-up. In the end, she herself faced the fact she was hurting me bad. I had developed major anxiety when I was with her and walked on egg shells constantly. By the end I developed stress migraines and even had some panic attacks when talking with her.

Patty was also the most negative person I know. Everything was awful for her. She hated Easter, she hated Christmas, she hated birthdays. She didn't like much to socialize and that caused my own social relations to deteriorate. Every time we talked she was complaining about something. Her parents, her coworkers, her school, everything. This was a woman that in the 4 years we dated went through 5 different jobs. All ended the same way. Everything was awful, everyone was out to get her and she eventually quit all of them. The last one she quit without an alternative and dedicated herself to school. Everything was awful, everything was bad. And when I was trying to be positive she would constantly drive my mood down. She didn't make a single effort. She was seeing a psychologist since before I met her. A year ago she told her she couldn't help her and she had to see a psychiatrist. She refused, she said she didn't like psychiatrists that they would only medicate her. I actually gave her an ultimatum which I eventually didn't follow, to my regret.

She had no hobbies and no interests. I tried to show her movies and shows and she did like a few. At home she watched...zero. Still, she was always complaining she was too stressed when all she did was revisiting the stuff from the job that day and didn't take a second for herself. Oh wait, she did. She liked to read. I actually showed her Orwell's 1984. She couldn't go past the first chapter. All she read was self-help books from questionable charlatans and acted like it was literature.

She did had her good things, of course. But I wonder if it was even worth it. I wasted 4 years on this out of my own stubbornness. I feel fine for now but I can feel the up and downs coming. As soon as I start to miss our routines and familiarity I will get very sad. But when I do all I have to do is remember the outbursts, the childish discussions that went nowhere and the constant negativity. Right now...I actually feel relief.

This happened a few years ago. Life eventually found a way and I'm doing good. But from time to time I still remember this and get angry/sad.

A few years ago I found a great group of friends. It was one the happiest times of my life and I still cherish those memories. Not long after I joined it I started going out with a girl and we were together for about 4 years. The group eventually settled in all couples and a single friend who I'll call Peter (the incel of this story). I call him an incel but he was far from being one back then. He often went out with girls and had a few flings though nothing serious (by his own choice).

Peter smoked a lot of pot and, with time, it took a toll on his social skills. Often he was too high to have any kind of "game" and he ended up in a rut. After a year he found himself orbiting a younger girl who wanted nothing with him. Lets call her Mary. Mary made out with him once when she was drunk out of her mind and regreted it. She told him she was not interested but he never took the hint. At about the same time my girlfriend broke up with me and my world fell appart.

To say I was devastated is putting it mildly. But that's not that story I'm telling today. While I was devastated I did accept it was over and desperately wanted to move on. And by moving on I mean sleep with a lot of women. And as recently single, me and Peter quickly gravitated to become each other's wing men. We often stayed out late partying and bonded through our common single life. I vented about my ex while he also vented about Mary. To his credit, in those first few months he was very supportive and a good friend.

Not long after, though, something started going very very wrong. Peter always had this major crush about a girl in our group, Patty. It was very weird. Patty had stopped hanging out with us often not long after I came by. She lived with her long-term boyfriend and slowly stopped going out as much. She and Peter were great friends and he would drop everything whenever she came out. Not surprisingly he was very cold with her boyfriend. He never went out though, to my annoyance since he's a great guy.

Not long after I became single Patty started going out a bit more (not because of me). I enjoyed it because I always liked her and she was always a very easy person to talk to. I never saw her as anything other than a friend and vice-versa. Well, you can see where this is going. Peter started getting extremely paranoid that I was putting my moves on her. The mere insinuation I was putting my moves on a girl in a relationship (with a guy I like, no less) offended me. Once he totally went on on me because I was talking to her for 30 minutes straight and he felt, and I quote, that my body language was of someone flirting with her. Mind you, this guy wasn't even worried about her boyfriend, he was just pissed because he somehow though I was stealing his crush. This came to point where he actually made an ultimatum that if I was his friend I would never speak to her again. Yes, you read right. And I actually acquiesced since I was so emotionally fragile to protest. By this time I had gone into a deep depression because of my ex and started doing therapy.

It didn't stop with Patty. After that a pattern emerged. We would go out and he would get infatuated with girls that weren't interested in him and basically call dibs on each one. He would approach them high out of his mind and creep them out and when he saw them actually enjoying my company he would get angry. One of them, lets call her Lisa, I met her a bit before he did. I practically introduced them. She was actually the one that convinced me to go to therapy for my depression. Once we were going home after a night out and chatting about politics and I mentioned I had talked about that with Lisa and he completely lost his mind. In his words, I was a shit friend because he had told me he liked her a lot and as soon as I knew that I should've never talked to her again. Mind you, while I was interested in her at first, I had realized I was in no condition to have anything with her the way I was, and I had gave up on that idea long before I introduced them. I still was her friend though. This time I stood my ground and when he started getting agressive I turned my back on him and left.

The next day, after sobering up, he messaged me apologizing. He was honest and admitted he had a unhealthy fixation with some women, especially Patty but now also Lisa. That he didn't mean to lose me as friend, and yada yada yada. I forgave him. It was fine for a while. Until I started slowly realizing he was trying to keep me appart. We met new people (among them Lisa) and they would invite us to go out with them. They would talk to him first and tell him to pass the message to me and he would...forget. I started catching him on those lies. I would meet them around and they'd be surprised to see me and ask why didn't I come with them if I was in town. Until one time Lisa invited me directly and came to pick me up. When Peter saw me arrive with her he looked like he ate a lemon. I didn't take it personally and moved on.

Until one night I was supposed to meet him and he ghosted me. I didn't think much of it. As far as I knew he got lucky and I should just count him out for the night. I went out by myself and, guess what, we crossed paths again and once again was greeted by confused "I thought you were staying home". I was having a bad night and this time I couldn't hide my hurt. I turned my back and just left. A friend (not from that group) found out and went to my place to comfort me. She told me not to stay home moping and just go to the bar I was planning to go (where Peter would most likely end up) and just have fun. And that I did. When I got there Peter, Lisa and the others were already there. I just calmed myself and went there and asked to talk to Peter. I calmly told him what I was feeling. That I was feeling left out and he was giving the vibe of trying to keep me out himself. I expected to hear a "nooo, that's all in your head". I didn't. He admitted everything. He said to my face I was ruining his chances with Lisa (which only he thought he had) and he was trying to drive me out since she gave me too much attention. He also told me to go fuck myself and flipped me off to my face. I immediately turned my back on him and went to another group. I was done. He went back to Lisa, drunk out of his mind, all hopeful tonight was the night.

You see, what he didn't know is that Lisa knows what she wants. And it wasn't him. She likes to party. But she especially likes to party with Tony. Tony is this great good-looking guy whose smile could melt a glaciar. And he also happens to be a pretty cool chap. Lisa likes to get on with other guys casually. But Tony...Tony makes her legs shake and I had watched that happen a few times before. So, Peter is looking at Lisa like she's his future wife. He's shinning like the sun and smiling like it's the best day of his life even though he just told one of his best friends to go fuck himself. She's having a nice time too. I'm having fun with another friend and watching this scene unfold from the corner of my eye. And Tony comes in looking like a million dollars. In less than 5 minutes Lisa is grabbing him like he's food and literally throwing herself at him. Peter face just fell. And I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. I actually laughed though discretely. I got myself a drink and just like that Lisa and Tony where gone. Probably went to church. And I never saw anyone so defeated and so ridiculous as Peter at that moment. He tried to play it off but I could tell his heart had just broken into a million pieces. He bet everything on Lisa, even his friendship, to see it blow it on his face while he saw me watching it. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. And then Mary comes in. Remember her? Yeah...now I did felt sorry for him, no matter what he had just did. I remember saying out loud "ooi...that's much, that's cruel". If could've helped him then I would've.

Naturally, in his despair he tried to get lucky with her and she brutally rejected him. She wouldn't have if she had seen what had happened with Lisa. Mary is a doll but she was done with Peter and he had almost stalked her a few months before. He ended up drinking himself comatose and had to be carried out in the end. I actually helped carry him.

He probably felt very stupid the next day. A few days after that I messaged me if I was going out but I left him on read. But we still had common friends (not the Lisa group, the old ones) so I never actually stopped talking to him. But he was mostly relegated to an acquaintance. I was civil, even nice, but always kept a safe distance.

One friend in particular, John, was the main reason we still hanged. John was a childhood friend, he was actually the one who introduced me to that old group. John and Peter are best friends. Peter idolizes John. John plays in a band, is VERY popular with the ladies. He was one the few people who had seen Peter's obsession with Patty and he was actually present when I was given the ultimatum. While he though Peter was going too far he advised me to do what he wanted to keep the peace.

You guys can see I like telling details...but there aren't much in the end of this story. The pandemic came. We started gathering at people's places when it ease up and Peter started inviting everybody to his place. Obviously I was left out. He even started inviting my ex out of nowhere when they hadn't talked with her since the break-up. Because of that I had a fallout with John and we never talked again. I just let it go. It caused a relapse in my depression but I jumped right back up. Word out on the street is...I fell out with Peter because of a girl I liked. Yeah. I don't care that much what people think. Truth eventually comes out. The people who mattered stood by me. I found I had a few great friends I never knew about. Most people aren't angry with me but since they were friends with John and Peter longer, they stood by them. They still say hello when we cross paths and are happy to see me. But I let myself stay away and maybe it was for the best. I still think about it sometimes and that's why I end up writing shit like this. I hope Peter burns in hell. He's vile and he'll be as miserable as he deserves. I miss John and still defend him when people talk shit about him. I've been with someone else for years now and life moves on.

I've tried GetHomepage and while I've configured most of it I've had a few troubles due to the instructions being very incomplete and confusing.

The one problem that eluded me was setting paperlessngx widget. Worth nothing that, unlike the other services, paperlessngx is running on docker-compose on my server. While the widget detects the service, it never gets any information

Eventually it just gives an API error

# services.yaml (just the relevant part)
   
     - Paperless-ngx:
        href: http://<myserverhost:port>
        description: Document Management System
        icon: https://static-00.iconduck.com/assets.00/paperless-icon-426x512-eoik3emb.png
        server: paperless
        widget:
          type: paperlessngx
          url: http://<local-ip:port>
          token: <token-configured-inside-paperless>


    #docker.yaml

    paperless:
      host: <local-ip>
      port: <port>    

I'm out of ideas. Unfortunately the only instructions are on the site and they aren't easy to follow if you're not already familiarized with docker.

Encontrado no IG no grupo de defesa da Palestina da UP:

"Desde outubro de 2023, mês em que começou a ter lugar a vigília diária em solidariedade com o povo palestiniano em frente ao edifício da Câmara Municipal do Porto, com o objetivo de exigir o fim do genocídio perpetrado por Israel contra o povo palestiniano, que as pessoas presentes têm sido alvo de atos de violência física e verbal. Desde então, temos sentido na pele a total impunidade com que operam grupos organizados que tentam aterrorizar e negar os direitos constitucionais de reunião e expressão.

Dia 14 de novembro, mais uma vez, um grupo de quatro homens que se apresentaram como israelitas, de forma completamente descontrolada, exaltada e agressiva, ofenderam e proferiram ameaças de agressão e morte contra as pessoas que participavam pacificamente na vigília, para além de terem orgulhosamente incentivado ao genocídio e à violência contra o povo palestiniano, em mais um crime de ódio racista que, pela sua repetição cada vez mais frequente e pela inércia das autoridades legais, está a tornar-se normalizado e banalizado no espaço público da cidade do Porto.

Estes atos de violência têm-se intensificado, com espaços de tempo cada vez menores entre eles, e no mesmo dia 14 de novembro de 2024 pessoas que portavam símbolos palestinianos (lenços e bandeiras) foram, durante a tarde, atacadas física e verbalmente numa via pública do Porto, tendo uma delas de ser tratada no hospital por lesões oculares resultantes do uso de gás pimenta por parte dos agressores."

I developed an app in Laravel that uses Google authentication, it works perfectly on my localhost. When I deployed it in my nginx server (ubuntu 24.04) I get the Google login correctly and it proceeds to my main page as expected. But after that, no route is accessible. All of them throw me a 404. I've been googling it for ages but I can't for the life of me find the solution for this.

EDIT: The 404 comes from Laravel, not nginx. The weird part is if I try php artisan route:list on the ser the routes are indeed missing but on the localhost they all show. The code is pretty much the same.

Here's is my app conf file:

server {
    server_name partituras-cmcgb.duckdns.org;
    root /var/www/html/partviewer/public;

    index index.php index.html index.htm;

    location / {
        try_files $uri $uri/ /index.php?$query_string;
    }

    location ~ \.php$ {
        include snippets/fastcgi-php.conf;
        fastcgi_pass unix:/var/run/php/php8.3-fpm.sock;
        fastcgi_param SCRIPT_FILENAME $document_root$fastcgi_script_name;
        include fastcgi_params;
    }

    location ~ /\.ht {
        deny all;
    }

    error_log /var/log/nginx/partviewer-error.log;
    access_log /var/log/nginx/partviewer-access.log;

    listen 443 ssl; # managed by Certbot
    ssl_certificate /etc/letsencrypt/live/partituras-cmcgb.duckdns.org/fullchain.pem; # managed by Certbot
    ssl_certificate_key /etc/letsencrypt/live/partituras-cmcgb.duckdns.org/privkey.pem; # managed by Certbot
    include /etc/letsencrypt/options-ssl-nginx.conf; # managed by Certbot
    ssl_dhparam /etc/letsencrypt/ssl-dhparams.pem; # managed by Certbot

}
server {
    if ($host = partituras-cmcgb.duckdns.org) {
        return 301 https://$host$request_uri;
    } # managed by Certbot


    listen 80;
    server_name partituras-cmcgb.duckdns.org;
    return 404; # managed by Certbot


}

I've known Jack for a couple of years. He's kind of a loner but we always got along as we both have some geeky interests. We're both introverts but I'm somewhat more social.

My girlfriend is also an introvert and when I introduced them, years ago, it was awkward at first but they got along pretty well. We hang out occasionally the three of us.

Mostly we talk in a Facebook group, and I talk to him in private messages. A few times, when he went through a family problem, I knew (from my girlfriend) that he vented to her in a private messages. She was happy to help but felt the need to tell me and I was OK with it.

When we do something at my house, I always invite him but he always refuses. The few times he aquiesced was because my girlfriend convinced him. Sometimes he disables all his social media and we loose all contact.

The latest one has been going for a while. I tried to call him multiple times but he never answers. When my girlfriend messages him he answers immediately. We actually tested that when we were together.

Lately he's been sending her messages trying to chit chat and being somewhat insistent. She felt it was very weird, specially after her seeing he never answer my calls. This latest time she actually confronted him about it and point blank asked him if he was mad at me and that it was all very weird.

You know what I'm thinking...but I'd like to know your perspective.

The title. I've been delaying long enough and I can't really wait anymore. I need a new GPU. I could really use some advice.

Right now I have a GTX 1060 3 GB with a Ryzen 7 2700X CPU and 32 GB RAM. Mostly I use it for gaming in 1080p but it's not impossible I'll eventually increase it (but unlikely).

I'll accept suggestions outside of my options but keep in mind the prices in my country are different. I'm not looking to buy used for various reasons (lack of warranty is one).

My options are:

RTX 3060 12 GB (290 euros)

RTX 4060 8 GB (330 euros)

RX 7600 XT 12 GB (380 euros)

RX 6750 XT 12 GB (400 euros)

RX 6700 XT 12 GB (420 euros)

RTX 4060ti 16 GB (480 euros)

I was really trying to keep it way below 400 euros. The 7600 XT is already a stretch but I could be convinced to raise the budget to the upper 400s for something with really good bang for buck.

I appreciate the help

UPDATE: In the end I decided to go for the RX 6750 XT for 405 euros but, as is my habit, I decided I should sleep on it. And thank god I did. The next day I went online and had already decided to buy it when I saw it was the store's birthday and they were doing some nice discounts and the 6750 was at 360 euros (limited to stock). I immediately bought. What are the odds?! She'll be here in a couple of days.

My girlfriend started taking a Masters in a college this year. In her course the faculty have shown some disorganization and computer illiteracy since day one but the latest one...completely killed me.

Besides their personal college e-mail, they wanted a platform to make announcements for all the course (20 students). I can think of a thousand ways to do this. Hell, even a Facebook group would be better. But no...

They have an e-mail address (like Masters_name@college.duh) where all the info is sent and EVERYBODY has the password to enter the e-mail and check the inbox.

That is it. I have no words. I think this is the most idiotic and dumb thing I've ever seen in IT.