this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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Why do men keep on having dates with me and then eventually leave? (lemmy.zip)
submitted 4 days ago by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/askmen@lemmy.world
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So before anything I'm a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I'd like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I've been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don't understand what they want.

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[โ€“] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Dating is quite difficult. I can't say from a trans perspective but from my perspective, there are many confusions and missteps. I have had so many women emphatically say they want another date and then flake. I think usually they're dating multiple people and chose someone else. Ghosting is also a term for a reason, it's fairly common. Keep at it, you're bound to find someone worth the effort eventually.

[โ€“] choihanna@lemmy.zip -3 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Men do the same, actually even worse because I've met a few who are already married ๐Ÿ˜ญ

[โ€“] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

How do you know women don't do that?

[โ€“] choihanna@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I haven't met any man yet who told me he got a lot of matches from older married women, maybe I need more male friends but I haven't heard much of it ๐Ÿ˜…

[โ€“] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Have you met a man who gets a lot of matches from any women? Seems to be the main issue for most men on dating apps. Also, IDK why people would even mention that they're married if they're only looking for something sexual.

[โ€“] choihanna@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago

I don't know, it does seem dumb but that's what they do

[โ€“] Iceblade02@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Just keep in mind, we (men) are anything but a monolith. Setbacks can definitely feel disheartening, that's how life is, but we get back up again and keep on going.

Finding someone good for you can take time, but I'm sure you'll get there in the end.

Btw, don't write off irl meetings via hobbies & such. 20-somethings usually are a lot more mature than teens.

[โ€“] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

That must be so annoying and at times hurtful. It's always seemed women have it harder on dating apps.