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I'm gender fluid, I describe myself as 70% male, 30% female gender identity. I'm straight.
I am exhausted by women continually declaring what they want in men, but not really wanting that. I simply cannot act obsessive, possessive, or dominant. I want a woman to approach me on an equal footing. It continually shocks me how women demand toxic behavior in a dating context.
I was like this when I started dating. Popular media and family impacted how I viewed love and relationships, so accustomed to living with controlling narcissists I didn't understand what healthy affection looked like.
My first relationships were nightmares with similar people who reinforced those ideas. If I was approached by someone with a healthy, balanced mindset, I wouldn't know what to do with them.
Which is not to provide a solution, but rather some insight. In a sense it's a good thing you recognize a toxic situation before it begins, in another sense it can be lonely and frustrating, and I can commiserate from the other side
I completely agree and I can validate many women I've met have been in very toxic relationships, and as much as they hate them, they do not know how to function in a healthy one
That’s something I’ve noticed sometimes as well, and I hoped that there’d be women (or even some confused men or nonbinaries) answering this post and a discussion would follow which would help both them and others understand what they’re really after.
This is something I’ve seen as well, but I think of it as a separate issue as the previous one. If somebody wants a sugar daddy/mommy/whatever, that’s entirely different than an actual relationship.
women who are more healthy tend to be in relationships that are stable and long term. they aren't single going in and out of relationships. also true of men. healthy people seeking out healthy people and who have good priorities.
all my best female friends over the years married young and never divorced. they chose the right people and valued other people for the things that actually matter, not the shallow bullshit that most people chase.
a big thing is that most singletons want their partner to fix their lives for them. they are unhappy in their middle class office job and think a partner to elevate them to the luxury travel lifestyle they see on social media. That expecation is entirely unrealistic, but they don't care about realism, so they shut themselves off from realistic partners and chase fantasies in their head or short term relationships.
in short, healthy people don't chase romantic fantasies, unhealthy people do, an are forever unfufilled.
what women are emotionally attracted to is often anti-social and abusive behaviors.
and they are actively disgusted by the behaviors they claim they want in a partner. caring, kindness, emotional openless etc.
esp single women.
It's not a battle of the sexes thing. Both men and women are often attracted to the traits they outwardly disdain.