this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2026
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Any person who has ever told me to 'think with your head and not your heart' has always - without exception - turned out to be a major asshole who does a lot of harm to themselves and those around them.
It's funny, I have very successful friends who used to say something similar. As one put it: "If you sell out at 20, you got no heart. If you haven't sold out by 30, you got no head."
That friend group are a great bunch of guys in their personal lives, family men and good providers, down to the last one. At the same time, they are 100% part of the problem. They are landlords and marketing execs. And every one of them has an exceptionally high EQ. (Except Jake. He's my favorite and he fixes industrial baking equipment. Used to be a bartender. You know the type - staring daggers when you interrupt his conversation with a regular customer. Jake didn't GAF about EQ.)
Anyway, it's not that they are evil. They are just the "normal" amount of selfish. They have comfortable lives. They read their newsfeeds without ever thinking any deeper. They aren't the Nazis - they are the people who empower Nazis by remaining laser-focused on their job and their family, ignoring politics unless their property tax is at stake.
I think it's possible to be a good husband and an overall good person, but not a good citizen. Zombies, if you will.
I know this is semantics, but I would not call them "good". Jake is a good person. The rest are "decent"
This sounds like "facts don't care about your feelings," which almost always goes on to cite cherry-picked/non-sensical/incorrect "facts."
Plus there is no group more concerned with their feelings than those people. They’re the same ones who demand common sense despite the fact the true functioning of the world is so often not intuitive and those random idiots who can barely spell half the time probably aren’t gunna be making any genius decisions.
Look, I got no beef with someone who can't spell "emotional intelligence". My problem is with people who refuse to learn it
It was just to point out that these people are both not the most knwledgeable and also very sure that they know everything or are far too confident even when they say “I’m no expert, but…” and use said confidence to ignore anything which might educate them.
Otherwise yes, there are people without the knowledge to spell well who are quite intelligent, absolutely.
It's curious how nobody who says those things is suggesting something that would be ethically concerning in ways that affect them negatively, only other people. "Well, a few hundred thousand people might die... [but none of them are people I know or care about]".
A variation of it, "okay, but do you really need it?" is used in regular rotation in our household. There's nothing wrong with the saying when used as, "take some time to reflect before making rash decisions". Though one could argue reflection still takes feelings into account, not putting it aside entirely.
And that RTX 4090 would've been pretty sweet. But she's right, playing my games on 'low' doesn't take away my enjoyment from a game that's actually good.
I mean, even 'think with your head and not your heart' is perfectly valid under certain circumstances. It just happens to be used generously by people who are trying to justify doing harm, that's all.
In the context of the richest person on earth saying, "empathy is a weakness", yes. You're absolutely right.
It’s more that those people are saying “what maximises personal returns in this moment is more important than worrying about how it will affect others.”
For example, laying off a few thousand employees might leave those real human beings stranded BUT you’ll look like you saved the company money for at least the next couple months. Besides, once those employees are gone you can pretend that not caring about them is totally normal because they’re no longer your direct responsibility.