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I come from low socioeconomic so often a few words was enough. As I have grown and travelled I have adopted fillers, esp when writing. I often feel like I use too many which feels like I am betraying my natural way of communicating. But this also boosted by my likely ADHD. It’s usually too much, or too little, I just can’t get that middle ground.
So, similar background, and my issue is that, as I've traveled, widened my circle, and now (in my late 30s) made my way into higher education; I somewhat refuse to use the expanded vocabulary that these more "sophisticated" circles prefer. I feel like I'm exposing myself to thee parts of society in order to bring the better parts of it and ways of thinking back to help build my preferred community, but knowing that the only why I can bring it back is if I maintain the "local lingo" if you will. Otherwise, I feel I'll be seen as an outsider.
I think I may have gone pretty hard and to the left of what we were originally talking about...but this is the internet, I may have just needed to scream into the void. Idk, but that constant strive for a middle ground is a familiar feeling.
I understand that and unfortunately the industries I work in expect waffle and showiness. The weird thing is in almost every exit interview my bosses tend to mention the appreciated my frankness. It must just slip out. I do get tired of the pretentiousness. It may not be that for a lot of people but that’s how it feels, like a linguistic game.
You can adapt how you speak to the people you're talking to. In fact most people do that somewhat automatically, but you can consciously encourage it to happen more fully.
I do to a point, but there is intended refusal on my part when speaking with those that I get the impression that they do so to be impressive, especially in higher ed.
In a big believer in knowing how to and practicing the ability to speak to the least formally educated among us is a more valuable skill than is using the longest and most sophisticated words I can muster. I know the words, and I CAN use the words, but why? Especially if it runs the risk of someone around me feeling like they can't or shouldn't engage due to societal pressures of inadequacy. Fuck that noise.
I have often felt like I don't belong in the space I am occupying for similar reasons, I would hate to be the reason someone else felt that way.