this post was submitted on 31 May 2024
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Did you respond to the wrong comment?
Othello is referring to Lenin's Cat calling "pick me" an "awful term" — the term "pick me" originated in AAVE, as do probably way more words and phrases than you're consciously aware of. AAVE words and phrases start getting used by whites, this leads to semantic shift as the words are used outside of their original context and purpose, and this in turn leads to the actual histories of these words becoming completely forgotten by whites.
Frankly, I had never given a moment's thought as to who exactly might've first coined the term "pick me", so literally as I'm writing this I'm becoming aware of the term's actual history.
I also was never aware that the term "pick me" originated in AAVE. That's something new I learned today.
You may also like to know that the above definition is the appropriateated one. Pick me originally had nothing to do with Marginalized people. It was exclusively a term for women who enjoyed shitting on other women in a public setting, because she thought it would make her more attractive to men. For example, a woman who constantly talks about how She shaves every single day because body hair is absolutely horrible and disgusting, Like constantly and only in front of men. That’s a pick me. And then white people decided to steal the word and make it about marginalized groups. It’s really not that deep. It’s just about annoying girls in your friend group. Obviously definitions and words can change and grow, but it’s extremely annoying to see people shit on a word that’s been stolen from Black people And then actively offer the incorrect annoying definition to people Actively furthering the problem. It’s just so brazenly ignorant. If you don’t like using a term, you don’t actually have to use it.
i was the only black kid in my school and there was an assembly where they announced the banning of bandanas and durags
so excited to leave this suburban hellscape
Oh yeah, I edited that out because I figured crackers might get upset. But yeah, The suburbs are like a freaky alternate dimension.
Random story of my childhood cuz tangentially relevant:
I grew up in buttfuck suburbia, bout 50/50 black white. A lot of white flight was going on in my 'hood and the caps were gettin nervous about it. We had a HyperMart (the first Walmart super stores) that banned durags, all red or blue outfits, blasted country music loud enough that you had to raise your voice to talk to your buddy. Oh of course this had nothing to do with race, just "gang violence". Anyway punkracka highschooler me decided to test that theory.
So i head down to the place with a roll of quarters for aladdin's castle in my tommy hilfigers and a black bandanna on my dome like a cap and ride my bike over.
There were pigs at the entrance to check compliance and one of em stopped me saying "the rules are no gang colors or rags". I said "but this isn't gang colored" and it's just my fav bandana and he just... let me go in.
Anyway i had planned to make it in and flaunt how cool i was getting around the rules (or something? I dunno i was a dumbass) but the black people inside were not amused. Two or three separate cats came up to tell me i was gonna get in trouble, and got pissed when i told em i had permission.
I still didn't get it back then, but i took off the bandana
I was only aware of the original meaning of the word (women who shit on other women to try to be more attractive to men). I'm not American, so that probably explains why I didn't know it originated in AAVE. Thanks for the history! Personally I disagree with Lenin's Cat that 'pick me' is an awful term. It's a very self-descriptive term that gets the concept across very easily - more words in the English language should be like it.
That’s fair, also, that means you had the correct definition in mind already so that’s good actually!
Thank you for explaining to them. I assumed it would be obvious which word I was referring to and why, if not by knowing pick mes origin but at the very least context clues. Also, that is not the correct definition of pick me. That is the appropriated definition. Regardless, it’s extremely ignorant to call it a stupid term when you don’t even know what the word means.
Yeah, I was going to ask how you'd define "pick me" yourself, but I see you've already done that in other comments. When trying to look up the original meaning of "pick me" I was met with some amount of contradiction, so I wasn't sure what to think.
But yeah, we have already a myriad terms for "appealing to the fantasies/expectations of the oppressor", so the only upside of using "pick me" with that meaning is how evocative it is of specifically putting others down for one's own sake... And yeah, it's not inherently a bad thing for a word to be used only for its evocation, for a word to spread and change meaning — but it becomes a bad thing when the context of this exchange is one of inequality between groups.
No, It’s the exact same, same as when people complain about the word woke on here.