this post was submitted on 31 May 2024
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[CW: Fetishization on the Basis of Identity (Race, Transness, Etc.)]I'm mainly talking about this in the context of race, but it applies to other categories such as trans people as well. My main issue with this is that this type of openness to accepting fetishization on the basis of identity enables toxic tendencies.

What I mean is that, for example, I'll sometimes see black men play into disturbing tropes like the "BBC" shit and this idea that they can tie their race into the notion of being some kind of sex god. And it's worse when you get white women who unironically identify as "snow bunnies" as a way to entertain this trope (which is just racist), and these black men who don't realize the problem with this will eat it up.

This isn't pleasant; it's just dehumanizing. This isn't just a problem for straight people either. Gay men, for instance, can have this toxic shit going on too. I understand that, especially when you're a part of a marginalized group, it can seem tempting to celebrate what seems to translate to you being a desirable person, even if it's on the basis of a creepy fetish, but that will ultimately do more harm than good.

I just hope these people come to realize that they're not taken as being a desirable "person" in these circumstances, but rather, a desirable object. These fetishists do not care about their humanity, and it is, first and foremost, their fault that this is a problem to begin with.

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[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

100-com

Fanon even mentions this in Wretched of the Earth.

Side note: I also hate it when people talk about how good looking biracial babies are like they're fucking dog breeds.

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

Side note: I also hate it when people talk about how good looking biracial babies are like they're fucking dog breeds.

Out in crackkkerland the only biracial people they see are on the TV and so they mistake “TV showing me good looking people because that’s what TV does” for “all biracial people are attractive.”

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's even worse when an entire community is dedicated to this under the guise of being a safe haven for a minority group.

A prime example of this is Reddit's 196, and its adjacent communities. They built their entire modus operandi around *supporting" trans and GNC people, but in reality that support consists of lots of fetishization. Plenty of trans people will sadly join in on it, because they think they found an environment that isn't hostile to them. But whenever one of them steps out of line and actually points out the blatant fetishization, they get surprised that those who pretend to be their allies will suddenly attack them.

It's the classic mistake of thinking fetishization means that you're being seen as an equal. Fetishization and oppression often go hand in hand. It's been a common theme throughout history.

[–] sisatici@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

196 and "genocides are bad when I am not the one doing it". I could tolerate other bullshit but "I will vote for my fuhrer Joe Biden until he comes to kill me" was really bullshit. Does anyone know any other active(extremely online) leftist shitpost places?(I still miss you r/cth my beloved)

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

/r/gamingcirclejerk has a similar culture and is much more aligned with Hexbear's politics. /r/sharkpark is basically 196 but they never post about politics at all so it's just the same kind of meme with no libs but also no based posts. /r/thedeprogram is also a bit similar but because the community is explicitly political and most of the memes are about economic topics I think it's just inherently less humorous. Not to mention that the demographic is so young that it often devolves into childish things and people posting about getting banned from other subreddits. /r/TrueAnon is the best subreddit left IMO but it's not as active as the others. /r/acidmarxism, /r/blackwolffeed, /r/blackepsteinfeed are out there if you wanna look at the comments for leftist discussion. If you really are a content hog then there's also /r/theadamfriedlandshow and /r/redscarepod but those subreddits are full of straight up chuds and are just generally even worse than 196.

[–] machiabelly@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

/r/acidmarxism is private

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What I mean is that, for example, I'll sometimes see black men play into disturbing tropes like the "BBC" shit and this idea that they can tie their race into the notion of being some kind of sex god.

I knew a black guy once who said the problem with the well-endowed black man stereotype is that if you take it out for a girl and it doesn’t hit the floor, she’s disappointed.

And it's worse when you get white women who unironically identify as "snow bunnies" as a way to entertain this trope

cringe is that what that means? I saw some recommended video about a guy meeting his ideal snow bunny and I thought “oh she spends a lot of time on the slopes, he’s into skiers I guess.”

Which, besides the dehumanizing of marginalized groups, devalues earnest interracial couples. Like it makes it look like the relationship must be about fetishizing and not, oh hey maybe these people actually care about each other and love each other.

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

is that what that means? I saw some recommended video about a guy meeting his ideal snow bunny and I thought “oh she spends a lot of time on the slopes, he’s into skiers I guess.”

Having spent a brief stint living in a ski town, everybody always used "snow bunny" to mean "white woman who can't really ski, but goes to the ski lodge to hook up with the cute rich white guys."

But in recent years, I guess The Youths have decided it means "white woman who exclusively dates black dudes." Language is weird.

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Yeah this is the moment i had to update my internal urban dictionary too. Im having a bit less trouble than with the asl update (at least that one made sense) but its like how come we can't just make a new name for this? Dagum kids ruinnnnnnnin

yells-at-cloud

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

with the asl update (at least that one made sense)

American... Sign Language??

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

oh are you a 10k'r? Lucky! Besides sign language (lol) ASL was age/sex/location for early chat rooms but is now used to mean "as hell" like "i'm mad asl right now".

At first i was mad at the change (yaarghlebargle hell doesn't start with L) but then i thought the original A/S/L was truly obsolete and ready to be appropriated. Go youts!

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I remember a/s/l being used on Omegle as a teenager, but I've never seen "asl" being used to mean "as hell".

yaarghlebargle hell doesn't start with L

"hostiae non ostiae"

But yeah that reminds me of how I'd make my mom mad as a kid, when I would make this one TTS program say "bloody L"

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Uh... I followed your link and didn't understand a thing in there. Can you explain like I'm an idiot?

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Try scrolling to the top of the page.

In any case I was just making sort of a "the more things change" type joke, that even Romans in the days of Late Latin were complaining about the ways that youngsters would speak and write.

Oh, thanks! That's cool

[–] jaywalker@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Snow bunny has had the "white woman who only likes black men" meaning for at least 30 years or so. I'm 40 and recall hearing it as a kid, but it was in Alabama

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fair enough. I guess it's taken a few decades to spread to places that actually have snow.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The Blahaj instance and their chasers come to mind.

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[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

I largely agree but my only hesitation is ive seen lots of examples lately on the shitty bird app of trans women and other femme presenting people being accused of "self-fetishizing" and thereby damaging the rest of the community for totally innocuous things. Or for posting sexy selfies or for being sex workers.

Things like PhilosphyTube posting an old screenshot of her character from some video game in some vaguely fetishistic costume and saying she should have known at the time she was trans, and people shitting on her until she deleted it because that was apparently like playing into stereotypes and shit.

That... uh.... that bothers me that people will shit on innocuous forms of self expression and self exploration like that.

[–] POKEMONGOTOTHEGULAG@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I see you as less if you think someone like me is actually hotter than actual hot people. You are fucking pathetic. I take pity on your ailment. No place for hate in this heart, just pity. You should be crushed like the bug you are.

[–] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

I fear everyone I encounter that shows some sort of interest is a chaser, which makes me less keen to stick around since I start double (and triple, quadruple, etc) all our interactions looking for the dehumanizing edge that shows them mask off, they don't see me as a peer but entirely as an object.

[–] ssm@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Angel@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

This is just a spin on the "I'm entitled to my opinion" fallacy. I'm not telling anyone what they're "allowed" to do or like, but I'm speaking on legitimately problematic implications of certain forms of fetishization. Quite frankly, this just reads as someone who engages in this nasty kind of behavior trying so damn hard to cope with the criticism of how problematic it is. It wouldn't surprise me. Equating being ABLE to do something with it being RIGHT to do that something is a very common cope, hence me referring this to a form of the "I'm entitled to my own opinion" fallacy, a fallacy that serves that exact purpose.

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bit idea: instead of giving a blowjob, picking it up like a big microphone and doing a newscast for BBC News

is-this

I pretended to do a standup routine, but otherwise...

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