Smoking that "went for a walk and got some brunch" pack. Couchlocked
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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The newest friendly jordies video had a very transphobic joke at about 10:50. 
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It's a high dysphoria week and I gotta vent about it.
crazy bitch posting
I'm so frustrated with all the ordinary activities and situations I have to avoid to keep myself safe. Can't just fuckin dress for exercise and go to a gym without risking a whole situation. Can't go for a swim. Feel like I can't walk to the fuckin grocery without checking corners and identifying exits. It's exhausting, but I can't convince myself I'm wrong to be paranoid.
>remembering that time my dad called me a delicate flower and I was a little too happy about it
I work with ESL students and they often call me "Miss" by accident 
I wish I was born different
I wish one of you could hug me rn
cw for sadness, negativity, transphobia, suicidal thoughts
And I really wish this was easier. I'm crying myself to sleep again. I can't be. It's too hard. Society is too bad. Maybe I could be gay but this is too much. Why can't being trans be accepted as much as that? I could deal a little bit but it's too much. I don't want to try. Why can't I just stay a cis guy? I feel like I'm grasping at straw.
My family wouldn't get it, my friends wouldn't get it, no one would understand. I don't think I'd have a chance at finding a gf either. Why even live if I'm going to be alienated from myself or others? It's not fair. People will just see me as a freak. A man in a dress. And that's how I see me too. I'm just a stupid cis guy that's deluded himself. I'm stupid and I hate myself.
Sorry for all the sad posting I swear I try not to.
Virtual hugs and tissues.In Stars and Time
Big spoiler and also content warning
how was I supposed to know you're supposed to keep playing after Sif snaps? All the lore is like, "If you see the visceral colour red, something has gone very wrong" so I interpreted the following scene way more darkly than the game actually is. I thought he was literally abandoned by the Universe and the Change god for snapping and killing his family, so I deleted the save and started over.
it's a very well made game. lotta little details you can miss ...lotta details you can read too much into, as well...
HAHAHA! YES! NOW I HAVE A NEW MIDDLE AND LAST NAME TOO!dysphoria, ED (eating, not my wang)
Holy shit I feel so fucking big. I'm tall, and heavy, and broad, and I hate all of it. I keep getting some very ED thoughts. The happiest I've ever been with my body was at the height of my eating issues. I wish I had that level of stick to itiveness now. Every time I eat something I hate it. Its keeping me feeling fat and unhappy. And yet I keep eating so much. It actually makes me want to sh. I hate myself and this stupid, gross body.
Sorry for all the dysphoria posting
I miss transbians...