this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
163 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

13473 readers
1 users here now

Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.

No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer

Vaush posts go in the_dunk_tank

Dunk posts in general go in the_dunk_tank, not here

Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from the_dunk_tank

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 55 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My balls are so full and heavy with plastic I'm shooting out hot liquid g.i. joes every time I coom.

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

That's why they call you the 3D printer peen

[–] pumpchilienthusiast@hexbear.net 47 points 1 year ago

life in plastic, it’s fantastic

[–] morte@hexbear.net 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gross get em out of me

And by that i mean my testicles

I got you fam! gui-trans This will only hurt once... But damn will it hurt! Afterwards you do me, yeah?

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

t girls solidarity barbie dolls

being full of plastic

[–] DPRK_Chopra@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hell yeah. Nut like a 3d printer extruder.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dadarobot@lemmy.sdf.org 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How do they know? No one's checked mine. Can yall have someone sent over?

[–] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago

The IOF sperm squad checked you while you slept

[–] axont@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don't get regular visits from your neighborhood ball and penis inspector?

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd bet money if this existed it'd be British

[–] Posadas@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

oi mate you got a loicense for them testicules

[–] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

sorry mate regulation says yours are too large

[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago

I'm sure that won't have any consequences whatsoever

[–] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

tired: hard dick

wired: hard balls

Death to America

[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

Brace yourselves for some concern trolling about fertility rates

[–] EmoThugInMyPhase@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What if a mutation occurs and the plastic becomes part of the baby’s DNA making him extremely flexible and immortal

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[–] DyingOfDeBordom@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

And with the power to..... MELT clark-kent-stare

[–] Lurker123@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

Has plastic surgery gone too far??

No, but seriously, microplastics are horrifying.

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

Half man, half microplastics

[–] alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

ooh I should get mine out of the freezer and have a look

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

When everyone's balls fill up with plastics, we'll invent time travel, and send them back in time to be used as super bouncy balls. That's where those come from. It's very important that we keep polluting the environment with microplastics to preserve the stable time loop.

[–] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 21 points 1 year ago

I've been practicing microplastics retention for 10 years now. So far I have already mastered levitation, reading minds and even more amzingly, I am extremely close to having full control over the size of my moobs.

[–] Abracadaniel@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

if I have a vasectomy there's nothing exiting my balls when I cum, does that mean my balls are slowly filling with plastic?

[–] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If I double or triple my busting am I emptying my balls of the buildup? Like donating blood and lessening the amount of PFAS in your body? I'm only partially joking

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Much like the regular police protect capital and property, the volcel police are protecting big plastic & petroleum

[–] VOLCEL_POLICE@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

volcel-police

[–] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

you still bust with a vasectomy, but your gun's not loaded anymore

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

After vasectomy, what you bust comes only from the prostate, while the swimmers are stuck in the balls, so yes, your balls will end up fully buoyant

[–] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

ping pong balls

[–] DyingOfDeBordom@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I really don't like the sound or thought of this like i don't want that cum just building up in there any more than i want plastic

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] HexBroke@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A large variety of factors, including tobacco, alcohol, and drug use; psychological stress; obesity; insufficient sleep; and environmental factors such as air pollutants and heavy metals, have been identified as potential risk factors affecting semen quality.

Although the evidence is conflicting, our review suggests that the potential decline in male sperm counts does not necessarily translate to a decline in male fertility.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

I've gotta have the worst fucking cum

[–] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

fewer sperm but higher quality

[–] betelgeuse@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

just one very powerful sperm, like a koi

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] betelgeuse@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily plastics.

[–] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

nah pops i wasn't crankin it i was expelling microplastics

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

I guess it's a good thing I got mine removed. One less place to store the substance that will probably kill me in 30 years.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wonder if they disrupt hormones?

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Des@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

im like "god that would be so fucking cool" as i dine on a credit card with a knife and fork

load more comments
view more: next ›