this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 48 points 1 year ago

American flag checks out.

[–] Renacles@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago

Oi! Where's your greentext permit?

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This reminds me of how Brits were always totally obsessed with all the regulations that the unelected EU bureaucrats were supposedly inflicting on us all the time, and then you’d go to France and see kids diving off a high-board into a shallow pool contaminated with battery acid with absolutely no lifeguards to be seen, and generally no-one seems to give a shit.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah but you can't wear boxer style trunks otherwise they will shout at you. They have weird priorities over there

[–] leftzero@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not all of France is like Paris, and the Seine is not a pool. (Plus, battery acid would probably count as a good attempt to clean it up, not as contamination.)

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

French people let their dogs shit absolutely everywhere and nobody cares. That was the really surprising thing for me.

Paris is beautiful but you better keep an eye on where you're stepping.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This reads like a satire of those greentexts that satirize the knife laws in Britain.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 19 points 1 year ago

It definitely reads like it was written by an American.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Fact check: they only casually call you a cunt in Scotland

[–] Aux@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cunt is a greeting, not an offence.

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[–] lengau@midwest.social 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

True - in the south they call you a berk.

[–] SoGrumpy@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Cockney rhyming slang, the second half of the rhyme is mostly left off. In this case, the second half is left off and the first half is shortened.

Berkley Hunt = Cunt

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 3 points 1 year ago

I remember for a long time it was Jeremy

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 4 points 1 year ago

Not true, it just sounds more like Kant south of the border, which I think makes us sounds more philosophical.

[–] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Conservatives making things up and getting angry about it

[–] cone_zombie@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

TV licence is a real thing though

[–] shinratdr@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It’s just a way of funding the BBC that was devised before a TV was something that essentially everyone had. Since it’s delivered OTA it seemed easier to tax the device itself then it was to tax everyone unfairly. So calling it a “license” is fairly outmoded, it’s really a tax. You also don’t have to pay it if you don’t actually receive TV channels.

It should just be rolled into regular taxes now, but who is going to propose and approve a new tax in this day and age? So it’s easier not to touch it.

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

I wish we had a TV tax in Canada. The funding of the CBC is a political football, so I sometimes feel like CBC News has to walk a tightrope to avoid having the government slash the budget.

It's probably better that there's just a tax on the device. Sure the UK government could meddle with that tax to cut the budget of the BBC, but it feels like it would be less likely since people would rightly ask why they're meddling with it. People are less likely to ask questions if the government is cutting a budget because "gotta pay off the national debt!"

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Queen's dodger can mean

  • someone who lives with the queen
  • someone who performs crimes on behalf of the queen
  • someone who finds those called for the draft but have not registered on behalf of the queen

Which is it?

[–] Hildegarde@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Surely a fruit filled biscuit is another possibility.

[–] doc_dish@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

someone who lives with the queen

Surely that would be the Queen's lodger?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

rhyming slang, me ol China

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[–] MargotRobbie@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tell me about it, it's like, every time I want to get some grilled prawns there's always someone who goes "Oi mate, where's yer Barbie license?"

[–] psud@aussie.zone 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And in Australia doing the same it's "Oy wait up mate, where's your Ocker licence?" Luckily we don't need barbeque licenses, tong licenses, etc. we got away from the UK to escape all that bureaucratic red tape

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just so everyone's aware the police do not care if you have a TV license.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, that's handled by the Royal Guard.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 year ago

Only their TV department though

[–] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And here's some reality of over a decade of right-wing rule https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5aJ-57_YsQ

[–] corus_kt@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I vaguely knew Britain was hurting after Brexit but I had no idea it was this bad, yikes

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I dont undrstand it but its funny

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 59 points 1 year ago (3 children)

To watch tv in UK you need a tv licence

This was done as sort of a tax to fund public television without taxing people who don’t use it

The person then concludes that they should have voted for the nazis because liberals bad

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean you do in the US as well, but it's called "A Netflix/Hulu/Disney Plus membership"

And it only funds one channel instead of dozens of TV, radio, web, apps, weather and news channels.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Also publicly funded TV tends to be way better. They have somewhat more accountability so especially news, politics etc tends to be much better. For leisure programs that varies a bit more by country, but obviously the BBC has produced a lot of great stuff.

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[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We have those, too. You can choose not to pay for them.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Truly, the freest country in the world.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I can't believe that is a real thing.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

It did well for a long time. The BBC produces a lot of excellent programmes. It was also unafraid of holding the government's feet to the fire.

Unfortunately, the Tories successfully gutted it about a decade back. It still produces excellent programmes, but is neutered politically.

As for the licence fee. It is effectively an extra tax. However, if you don't watch TV, you don't have to have a licence. It's not perfect, but better than just a flat tax. It also helped keep them semi independent of the government.

[–] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Funding services by taxing people who use them? Yep, it's a thing.

They're making fun of how Brexit was pushed on a platform of getting rid of overstrict EU regulations and bureaucracy (as well as a lot of overt racism) but it turned out a load of it was just homegrown British bureaucracy that had nothing to do with the EU but UKIP voters kept complaining that anything they didn't like about Britain was the fault of the EU anyway

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

What about the Cat Detector Van?

[–] orl0pl@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] SrTobi@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In 1984 it's the TV that turns you in

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[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What's next, requiring a license to make toast in your own DAMN TOASTER!?

[–] psud@aussie.zone 4 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Give it time. It won't be a licence though, it'll be a compatible bread subscription for a discounted toaster, with government enforced felonies for using incompatible bread

*Based on how the software and entertainment industries work

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