this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2024
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On the road to fully automated luxury gay space communism.

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[–] utopologist@hexbear.net 59 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Think of how much worse it will be for those astronauts if Trump is elected

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

News breaks when he and the media are on the tarmac waiting to get on Air Force One.

"Wha?" He cones his ear with his hand. "The Boeing Spaceship blew up and the astronauts died? That's too bad. But it happens. Rocket fuel is dangerous. Very dangerous..." And then he tells a bizarre two minute story about "my uncle at MIT - the physicist who made airliner planes". For a few days lib media fulminates that he didn't give proper respect to the deceased astronauts who Lawrence O'Donnell calls "explorer heroes for humankind".

[–] HexBroke@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

“They just died? Wow. I didn’t know that. You are telling me now for the first time. They led an amazing life. What else can you say. Whether you agreed or not, they were amazing astronauts who led amazing lives. I am actually sad to hear that. I am sad to hear that.”

[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 45 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They're Boeing to die!

(Actually probably not, Space X, Russia, or China will have to send something up to rescue them, and I don't think Musk has a capsule ready for at least another 2 months.)

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

For Boeing about to rock, we salute you

Song

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If there's any company that would kill a bunch of astronauts through sheer incompetence during an election year and at a time when the US is looking weak on the national stage, I'd definitely put money on Boeing.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

Boeing is a SeeSeePee bot!

[–] Riffraffintheroom@hexbear.net 28 points 11 months ago (4 children)

So obviously Bryce Dallas Howard directs the movie about this. Who stars? Whose the modern Tom Hanks, Bill Hader?

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago

Huston...BIG UP THE WHOLE ISLAND

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

Chris Evans as Joe Biden

[–] Self_Sealing_Stem_Bolt@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Bill hader is much closer to a gary kinese or bill paxton than hanks imo

[–] Riffraffintheroom@hexbear.net 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Really? Maybe I haven’t seen him in enough, but I’ve never known him to have that sinese/paxton sexy-weasel quality.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago

Who? The Big Guy of course...

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago (3 children)

What happens when time runs out? Do they just leave them there to die?

[–] fox@hexbear.net 33 points 11 months ago

No, they'll just undock it and send it down unmanned, replacing it with an unmanned Dragon or Soyuz or something. This isn't any real emergency, it's just more bad news piling into Boeing at a time when they can't seem to do anything right

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

There is also a SpaceX dragon capsule currently docked to the ISS. That seats four. 8 people in space on the ISS right now. Maybe there's enough space with suits on, but I can't imagine there's much leg room for that road trip.

[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

The Dragon in question is kitted for 3. There's also an emergency evac capsule (Still a Soyuz I think EDIT: Yes, Soyuz MS-25!). But that's only another 2-3 and having US astronauts brought back by Roscosmos would be.....embarassing.

[–] healthkick@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago

Russia will do it just to flex

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Have them touch down and recovered by a Russian crew, give them a massive welcome home and "mission accomplished" parade in Moscow before returning them to the U.S. hahaha

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago

the USSR would definitely have done this, shame russia isnt cool anymore sadness

[–] SwitchyWitchyandBitchy@hexbear.net 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The article says the 45 day window is due to fuel limitations with Starliner, so at that point I'd imagine they'd un-dock it and de-orbit without crew. Regardless they wouldn't leave the astronauts to die (I hope) and would mount a rescue mission.

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

thinking-about-it wow, just an idea here - but maybe, just maybe, the space program shouldn't have been privatized

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

You think Biden is gonna prioritize this lol

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

The Shinra rocket from Final Fantasy VII had better build quality and their society was a techno dystopia steampunk thingy.

[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

OF FUCKING COURSE LMAOOOO