this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] LittleRatInALittleHat@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

American Christians think Jesus will come back if they help the Zionists erase the Palestinians.

[–] inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 months ago

It’s too bad people downvoted you because that’s genuinely what they (the evangelicals - not all Christians) believe

[–] KulunkelBoom@lemmy.org 12 points 3 months ago (4 children)

"You know that fucker never wants to see a cross again, right?" .................. bill hicks

[–] EvacuateSoul@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

If he had died from a landmine

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

I like the idea that everytime someone proclaims to be Jesus right before the cops kill them or they're relegated to skid row, it's true.

Meme's also on point that way. Christ trying to return for the 7000th time expecting a different result.

Just got really lucky first time around.

[–] Dr_Fetus_Jackson@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

First time, shame on me...

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 1 points 3 months ago

He could just stop trying to be a mormon and stop going to the usa

[–] HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone 2 points 3 months ago

It's unhinged that the symbol of christianity/catholicism is the gruesome instrument of torturous execution used on their figure of worship. Like... What the fuck? Why not a decanter, or a barn, or an open stone door, or literally any other aspect relevant to his miracles? It's like they're declaring the most important message is that godly deeds will bring you agonizing death.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Well I'd suggest he burn it, but that comes with other connotations...sooooooo

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Jesus didn't flood the earth right? That was God. His dad who is also him but not but yes. I dunno, I don't get it.

[–] afronaut@lemmy.cafe 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

lol yea, this is a shitpost after all.

After flooding the earth in the Old Testament, God created the Noahic Covenant that said the Earth would never be flooded again.

This meme would’ve made more sense if it was talking about Book of Revelations, but this ain’t christianmemes@lemmy.world lol

[–] frezik@midwest.social 2 points 3 months ago

Depends on how you interpret the Trinity.

God also promised he wouldn't use that specific method ever again. Doesn't take a rules lawyer to figure out the issue with that one.

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Sadly a flood won't solve the problem. The rich assholes just gonna step onto their yachts and sail away.

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but what are they gonna do after the flood? Their money is useless and they are useless as well.

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 1 points 3 months ago

But they are the ones who fucked everything up and if humanity is going extinct I expect these assholes to Die for what they did.

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 1 points 3 months ago

Thats why you flood it with lava

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Americans will live through the most prosperous, most happy, and liberal period in human history, elect a single piece of shit to the Presidency, and decide it's time for the world to end.

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Dear Jesus, plz flood the earth amen

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 5 points 3 months ago

Do it. Just flood it. Try with dolphins next time

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

Turn the tap on and walk away like the wet bandits.

[–] MrVilliam@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago

Drown me, sky daddy.

[–] bappity@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

flood it. we're beyond saving

[–] Dr_Fetus_Jackson@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] KeenFlame@feddit.nu 2 points 3 months ago

Yeah flood the other guy I'm also cool Jesus you may check out my trading cards if you want

[–] TheBluePillock@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago
[–] bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 3 months ago

Oh boy, I NEED the template to that, pretry please?

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

AS HE LIGHTS AN AMERICAN SPIRIT, HE ASKS HOW I CAN SMOKE SUCH SHIT!

[–] LucidNightmare@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago

Just take the humans out of the equation, completely, and let the earth take care of itself.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The flooding is going to come anyway. JC should just play video games and let humans continue melting the ice caps.

[–] Batman@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Nope, rainbow. Checkmate