I hate that I can visualize this greentext so easily.
this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2025
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The fact that they show a Dark Souls poster and proceed to describe an Elden ring movie is very funny. Like the producers don't know the difference.
they'd be proud of the fact that they never played video games, let alone the source material.
look at interviews surrounding halo paramount, "we want to tell our own story in this setting" then proceeds to make garbage that actively disrespects the source.
“We didn’t look at the game. We didn’t talk about the game. We talked about the characters and the world. So I never felt limited by it being a game.”
The quote is amazing.
that's an even better quote than the one I remembered
"Ah sweet, a new Miyazaki film!"
Wrong Miyazaki! Go back!
*gets bogged down in poison swamp*
I absolutely hate this, but can't deny that it's accurate
Tbh, i'd love a dark souls movie with Jack Black and Nick Cage.
Jack Black as Solaire would work. I can see the jolly cooperation now
And a shaven Adam Sandler as patches. This would truly be an awful film. I’d see it. Not in theaters, certainly. Not even my own streaming subscription. But eventually I’ll be on someone’s couch and exactly drunk enough to dare them to put it on.
This is how I ended up seeing Sonic 3.
Did I enjoy Jim Carrey? Yes, very much so.
Do I want to go back and see Sonic 2, which I completely missed? No.
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That actually sounds incredible lmao
Honestly, anything w/ Jack Black is incredible. He somehow saved the Minecraft movie for me by turning it into a weird School of Rock nostalgia trip.
That was unfortunately a Jack Black of a different era. This one abandons his lifelong friend to be as hollywood safe as possible for saying meanie-bobeanie things about trump (as a comedian on a stage that is known for political jokes)
Yup. Most that you can fault it for, is the mechanics later in the game, which try to teach you how to play multiplayer, getting too repetetive.
Because of course the game had PvP battling with music stages as bases.
I think the main issue people had was it had lot of RTS sections further in.
They weren't actually that bad, but the demo gave no clue that the main chunk of gameplay was going to be running around issuing orders rather than the basic heavy metal themed hack-and-slash it pretended to be.
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"they ruined it! There aren't even bonfires in elden ring! In lore theyre called this-games-thing!"
Movie is called Dark Souls, plot is Elden Ring. Hollywood on par for the course.
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THIS SUMMER, ROB SCHNEIDER DOOP DE DERP DEE DOODLEY DERP
This summer, unfortunately, Rob Schneider is
going, FULL MAGA.
zoom in on Schnieder doing a goofy face while wearing a red baseball cap as a slide whistle plays and he says "Who's afraid of the big, bad gays?"
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Fuck it, I'm down
Was the minecraft movie ai generated
Based af
Just a matter of time until this trailer gets made. I remember the Oppenheimer one and now that we've got the AI trailers, you don't even need an actual movie to use as source material this time.
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Final shot is Jack Black clumsily wading through a poison swamp, “not again!”
The swamp itself farts with every green bubble that boils and pops on the surface.
Well, I know people would watch it.
I did not watch the Minecraft movie myself, no desire to experience a full theater of people throwing popcorn around screaming chicken jockey.
Movie industry is fucked.
i enjoyed the Minecraft movie. i wouldn't say it was great, but i was watching it with my nephews and had fun. it helped that mamoa and black were clearly having fun doing it and had good chemistry together. (i even play the song "lava chicken" for fun hehe)
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"Praise the sun!" Start trashing the cinema and blasting take on me full volume
Sweet baby Jesus I can see this whole thing in my head every time I read it, these previews are so cookie cutter it's insane
/>:(
Goddamnit I give up with the formatting
>:(
Backslash, not forward slash.
Thaaaanks
>:)
I wish “The Studio” was ballsy enough to do an episode about this exactly.
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