When my best friend transitioned it was like watching someone begin to exist. Nothing was lost when she came out. She became MORE. More vibrant, more alive, more enthusiastic, more driven, more creative, more HERSELF. It was like the one who was there pre-transition wasn't even a whole person but just a shell or a mask. I'm so fucking proud of her ;~; <3
this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2025
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Can only confirm this. Since I had to finally acknowledge, that I'm trans life really does feel different. For the first time in literal years I have been able to feel true happiness. Prior to my realisation life kinda sucked. It was more like a monotonous stream of time where nothing really happened.
Yeeesh... I'm not sure if that's the kind of message you want to send... Imagine someone who's in a position where they can't transition reading that, you're basically telling them that right now they're a huge loser that should die...
The joke is that they already think that about themselves. The suicide rate for trans people, especially those who can't transition, is extremely high.
When I realized I was trans I knew I had no choice but to do it, damn the consequences, because I could see the other option would only lead to my death in a pit of despair and self-hatred.
I know it's higher than average, but reinforcing the feeling that suicide might be the best thing they could do because the person they are before transitioning is the biggest loser ever and people should be glad that they're dead? I don't think that's ok.
The post isn't really advocating suicide, though. It is pointing out an alternative.
Sure, but as I mentioned in my first comment, not everyone is in a position where they can seek the alternative
True, but I don't think this post is likely to push anyone over the edge, and that really has more to do with the lethality of their situation than the use of self-deprecating humour to reach people.
As someone who's been there, this whole line of reasoning just feels like pearl-clutching.
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idk there's a number of reasons why someone could choose to detransiton or delay transition, even for many years because they see no other way to survive. They're still people and their lives are still valuable
it feels a bit like the ableist "fate worse than death" "would rather die than end up like that" stuff that disabled people have to hear occasionally. Like yes, some people do live in a compromised state! It sucks but it's life
Not trans (I think, arguments for closeted gender fluid could be made I suppose but that's a different conversation I don't think I'm ready to have) but if I were trans that's exactly how I would feel. That a person who has been able to transition is, albeit indirectly, calling me a piece of shit loser who needs to die in order to be happy.
I'm glad OOP is happy and at least on the surface is confident, but the post just made me feel weird.
The sentiment of "oh no I'm watching someone die/mourning the death of my friend/son/daughter/cousin/whatever" can get fucked though. I guess you could see it as losing someone, but guess what, you didn't lose anyone. The person is still the person, they might act outwardly more in line with how they feel, but they are still around. Instead of lamenting the loss of a son, celebrate the arrival of your daughter. Your cousin might look and sound different, but they still enjoy talking shit about video game companies and politicians. The woman standing at the mechanic desk is still perfectly knowledgeable about everything they were before.
Just because you weren't aware of your daughter before she came out, doesn't make her any less valid being here now. If you can't handle that, well pour out your crocodile tears and have your narcissistic fit of "woe is me I have experienced such loss" I guess
*trans person describes personal experience
"No! You might make other people feel bad by describing your existence!"
Them describing their experience is perfectly ok, them doing it in a way that might make someone going through the same experience feel like shit about themself isn't.
I'm sorry, what? Do people actually say that?? Wtf?
yea, they say that, or what I’ve seen often is "im grieving the death of my son!!"
like, why not celebrate the birth of your daughter instead?
To be fair, especially to parents I get the part of grieving of someone you love not being there anymore. But if that person isn't really dead but just a different (better) version of the person, I don't really get how you can believe you are greaving while you're simultaneously not keeping that person close to you? I mean, that will only make the loss worse, right?
They're grieving the loss of who they expected their kid to be
Yeah but whatever their son/daughter was able to do before, there's no reason they can't do it post transition. If I use super traditional cliches to explain what I mean, their new daughter still knowns how to fix their computer / their new son still knows how to cook.
It's an emotional reaction rooted in transphobia, not a logical one.
But to my point of a loss of expectations, that part is like when kids don't turn out how their parents had hoped. To use another cliche, when their kid who was going to be a doctor runs off to do art instead.
Those parents that love unconditionally will let go of those expectations, learn to love their kid for who they actually are, and in time appreciate their transition as a period of growth rather than loss.
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Both my partner and parents said that, it's quite common.
Watch that Elon Musk interview with Jordan Peterson. Elon seriously says that his "son" died to "the Woke Mind Virus". (His daughter Vivian is trans and is happily living far away from her father in Japan.)
Elon seriously says that his “son” died
To which Vivian responded "i look pretty good for a dead bitch". What a queen.
I watched her interview with Hasan, and the thing that surprised me the most is she's just a normal-ass 20-year-old. I never would've expected one of Elon's kids to be that well-adjusted.
I pity the guy. He tried really damn hard (without much success) and then I had to murder him.
I think it's more like seeing someone hatch XD
OH THAT IS WHY TRANS PEOPLE IN DENIAL ARE CALLED EGGS OMG I NEVER SAW THAT BEFORE!
Actually it's kinda the other way around, I chose the hatching metaphor because of the egg terminology 😅
Yeah but the egg terminology exists because that's what it's like -- hatching
Guys... This is becoming a chicken and egg problem..!
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Sure somebody died but that somebody was never me, sorry (not) that the actural me exists now and the actural me is a silly catgirl :3
Sorry what is the context? I am kind of out of the loop.
When trans people transition, some people, especially parents, experience a period of grief for the person they knew. Especially transphobic ones describe that as "my son died".
And they're right. He killed himself so that I might live.
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