2028 headline: After billions spent over three years the investigation is now closed after finding no evidence of Bruce Springsteen being an illegal immigrant. Turns out that he was in fact born in the USA.
this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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...except, after all that investigating, they realized that "Born In The USA" is not really a patriotic song.
They would never figure that out with any amount of money.
Source: YMCA, Fortunate Son
lol don't forget rage against the machine. i don't know if there will ever be words in any language to describe how fucking stupid republicans are
That was an honest mistake. It's not like every single song released since the inception of rage against the machine had highly political, radical left-wing, anticapitalist, lyrics... LOL
I mean, you can fill a book with stories of the Right not getting music.
There was Paul Ryan thinking Rage Against the Machine was on his side.
And Heart sued Sarah Palin to get her to stop playing their stuff.
https://www.foxnews.com/story/heart-to-sarah-palin-dont-play-barracuda
But they'll always have the ultra relevant Kid Rock.
This is a feature of the right. The Nazis couldn't create anything artistic, they had to steal from ~~Buddhism~~ Hinduism and the Roman Empire. They lack imagination, which I'm sure is linked to their lack of empathy, and they suppress the counter-culture, which is where art comes from. They fundamentally lack the ability to critically think, which is required for understanding art. The USSR, an authoritarian but (at least in theory) leftist society, produced a LOT of art that's pretty good.
It's also the same reason why they think "jokes" are just a way to make fun of someone and they can't fight back because it's "a joke", and they think that's what jokes are for. They lack the cognitive ability to parse out cleverness and only understand the subversion of expectation part.
If they could think deeply about things, they wouldn't be conservatives.
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Weeeeeeellllllllllll they're trying to get rid of birthright citizenship.....
This guy has to be the whiniest pathetic loser the human species has ever produced.
No wonder conservatives identify with him.
Investigating People who HURT YOUR FEELINGS is the VERY DEFINITION of FREEDOM! TRUST me! I'm a REPUBLICAN! We're KNOWN for Words!
The biggest, most beautiful of words. Words youve never even seen before, from the perspective of language
Love this. For years, tax exempt Churches have been praising Donald Trump and his Christofascist cronies. Despite this being forbidden, no one does jack-shit.
And then a few ultra-rich musicians share that they are not 100% on board with Trump’s 2020’s remake of the movie Idiocracy and he’s calling for a “major investigation”?
Someone’s mommy really didn’t love him
We all know Trump is a childish piece of trash, it's just a bummer that like 80 million fucking Americans see it and are like, "yeah this is what we need again."
Unfortunately the childishness pretty much gets ignored because their Facebook feeds and Faux News blasting t.vs all shout "the Democrats cheat and lie and steal elections! They want communism and everything bad that has ever happened to the US is because of them!!! Donald Trump is always lied about in the MSM, he is our savior! Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you!! Here's a selection of clips of Republican lawmakers doing investigations into Democrats and omitting facts, misleading with facts, and denying the reality of similar context! Be mad at Democrats!!! EGG PRICES!!!"
So Republicans can say "yeah Trump exaggerates a bit when he talks, but that's his charm! The Democrats would kill us all!"
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"Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect."
Despite this being forbidden, no one does jack-shit.
The U.S. Constitution is no better than toilet paper now. Thanks conservatives!!!
“WHY DID HE ACCEPT THAT MONEY IF HE IS SUCH A FAN OF HERS? ISN’T THAT A MAJOR AND ILLEGAL CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION?"
...does he think Bruce Springsteen was running for office?
Well, he thinks that Mattel is a country and that Abrego Garcia literally has "MS13" tattooed onto his knuckles, so yeah, probably.
When he dies, I hope there's a full autopsy because I really wanna know wtf is going on with his brain. Frontal cortex must have been chewed up and spit out or something.
It's simple - yeerks from anamorphs are real. We already know about the one in RFK.
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Any regime moves involving rich celebrities are an intentional distraction from their latest plans to kill ordinary americans.
This does not portray strength in any way. Very small hands energy
Fuck your feelings
Wait until someone tells him what "Born in the USA" and "Born to Run" are really about.
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So what's he distracting from now?
I can't figure out of the Qatari airplane is real or a distraction...
I don't give that brain dumb asshole any credit. I don't think he's ever being smart and distracting from things. His old, drugged ass just let's his mind wander this much, while his handlers keep their eyes on the prize.
I'm guessing this time, he wants his bribe plane, and was accused of accepting corrupt money, so he naturally has to invent the idea that Kamala was taking bribes first
It's only matter of time when people start falling from windows in US.
A President who has no love for his country.
Reprehensible
The only solution is a French style revolution
Boss versus apprentice
Let me get this straight. Trump thinks a presidential candidate paying someone else to endorse them is a campaign contribution? Illegal or otherwise that's not how that works, that's called advertising.
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I'm sorry man but if the boss says you are full of shit, you are full of shit. Investigate away dumbass.
It is so tough because its crazy pants to begin with but given how he does all the stuff he accused others of doing like weaponizing the doj its also scary but then its so nonsensical:
"the president suggested that his 2024 rival Kamala Harris could have paid Springsteen for an “illegal campaign contribution”"
its like which way you think the money is flowing???
In a world where entertainers - ohai Taylor Swift - regularly make songs about things they're worried or disappointed about, I feel harassing people who can regularly get on a mic and speak coherently - let alone rhyme those words into a catchy aural meme - has the potential to go badly.
I further feel that Bruce Springsteen is often part of the listening choice on radios or stereos of many people in the 'red zone' where smart American voting and simple reason usually goes to die, and I worry that he's providing the muse for a hundred great campaign songs for the opposition.
Have you heard of this phenomenon known as Classic Rock? People have been listening to catchy songs for DECADES. Some guy - get this - some guy actually composed a song, like hundreds of years ago, and it's still being played regularly today. It energizes the people, unifies them against a common enemy of the time, and is a great start to so many sporting events that 'play ball' is often thought to be the last line of the song.
This could finally go badly for the Commander in Cheese. Please, if there is a god, I want this to blow up in his face like the cheeto bag before every speaking engagement.
Welp there goes his chance at red Jersey
Surely attacking the musical embodiment of the working class in New Jersey will be good for the conservatives.....right?
I feel like if he wanted Jersey to file articles of succession all he would have to do at this point is ban pork rolls.
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And that's how Springsteen 2028 got started...
Springsteen for Prez, Tom Morello for VP, Ken Casey (Dropkick Murphys) for Secretary of Labor
Just making shit up as usual, deranged orange cunt
Yeah, I mean, are we sure he's really born in the USA?
The song says so, case closed. That'll be 20,000 in lawyer fees. Please pay at the second window.
Trump demands loyalty always now.
Too old and senile to be president! This is elder abuse!
That was a dumb move. Tons of MAGA Love him.
One of my college friend's FAVORITE musician was the Boss, and she refused to go to his free concert opening for Obama. It was hilarious; she was absolutely torn in half all weekend.
Such losers... Boomers have truly made an art out of ignoring cognitive dissonance
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