I put stuff up my ass that doesn't even stop me aging
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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Yes, probably. I also really enjoy the idea that you think that it being a suppository would factor in to the calculus at all, I think itβs really funny
Fellas, is it gay to put immortality up your ass?
The mildly homophobic nature of the question is hilarious. "Would you want to live forever if you also had to be a little bit gay????"
Itβs not even slightly gay to use a suppository either, it reminds me of the guys who think itβs gay to clean their ass because itβs gay to touch an asshole.
I donβt have anything against the straights. Iβm not a heterophobe β Iβm a real cool dude β but when those people talk about not washing their asses, itβs only natural for us to feel a little bit of heterophobia against their lifestyle.
Please don't lump us in with those people. That's not a "hetero" thing it's just a disgusting person thing.
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See, I'll go out on a limb and say it's not gay for a man to engage in prostate play. Even having sex with another man isn't necessarily gay!
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Yeah, I'd be uncomfortable, but immortality is immortality.
Now, if the requirement was a daily barebacking by the ultra-rich engineering their cum to be the elixir of immortality, I'd be a little more conflicted.
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What kind of horseshit twist is that? Are you literally 14, OP? "There's an immortality pill, but OH NOES π± it goes in your BUTT πππ!!!!" Have you considered writing for Black Mirror?
I'm taking it even if it's the size of a horsecock, regardless of which hole it goes in.
What we've learned from this exercise is that Baumgeist takes horse cock up the butt.
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Who would say "no" to this??
The same kind of people who donβt wash their ass because they think it would make them gay.
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People think suppository is a 4 letter word. "Oh put something in my colon for immortality?! Never!" Honestly the world would be best without that sort of thinking.
Conservatives
People that dont want to experience climate and societal collapse I guess
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Theres a lot of places I would gladly insert a lot of things if it stopped aging
Seems like a no brainier. You'd get used to taking it.
I bet with time you could just hold the pill flat on your hand, reach back and your asshole would gobble it up like a horse.
This wasnβt a sentence I was expecting to read in my entire life.
People say AI start hallucinating bizarre sentences is a problem, but I'm beginning to wonder if it simply gazed too deeply into the internet abyss.
Um hell yes. And if it were a suppository, we'd all quickly get used to some butthole time every morning
Even those of us who don't enjoy putting things up our butts eventually get used to doing it anyway. It's just another body part.
(Folks, if your butthole hurts, go to the doctor already. Hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and other butthole problems are quite treatable. Don't let them get worse.)
Who is going to reject this?
Yes.
This is a definitely yes question. No other side effects? Sign me up!!
Sign me up. Even if there's side effects like nausea or whatever. I'll do whatever it takes to stop my bones hurting more every year.
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Can I give one to each of my dogs as well?
Sure. By mouth, by butt, by injection, by patch, whatever. Yes.
Yes and yes.
Count me in. Bottoms up!
What kinda question is this? I already take plenty of pills daily, I would do much worse things to not age.
Only if the way of injection is a big cock
Hell yeah, even in suppository form, which isnt super convenient but worth it for the benefit There is so much I want to do!
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If I take 2, would that stop aging for one day and then reverse for another? Because I'm gonna need about 20 years worth of those up my ass, stat!
That depends, does it prevent me from dying at a normal age? If so fuck that I don't wanna outlive everyone I know and care about. If it just keeps me looking and feeling young, then sign me tf up my guy.
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Yes. Is the drug harvested from the brains of hyper intelligent whales from another planet? If so, then hell yes.
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Without hesitation. I'd happily become Hayden from Doom and live indefinitely as long as my consciousness is a continuity of the original.
I mean like, give me true immortality, I will willingly experience the heat death of this universe / big snap / w.e, and welcome the new universe.
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