this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
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Trump’s army parade was neither the totalitarian North Korean spectacle that critics had grimly predicted, nor the triumph of MAGA nationalism fans craved

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[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 149 points 1 week ago (3 children)

imagine joining the military to serve the country and then being used as pencil dick compensation by a draft dodging con man. and then being the focus of ridicule by half the nation

[–] DigitalNirvana@lemm.ee 51 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Much more than 1/2 the nation.

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 46 points 1 week ago

which is also embarrassing, seeing as how he's still getting away with literally everything

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[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

Its better than being tricked into killing civilians in the middle east for the past 35 years at least.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 104 points 1 week ago (2 children)

She defended Trump’s decision to ban transgender troops from the military, and complained that Biden had subjected the military to political correctness and DEI initiatives. “The military is not a social experiment.”

The irony of saying this statement at a self-fellating and totally unnecessary military parade is too much

[–] MagicShel@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 week ago

You know if they'd had some drag queens putting this show on it would've been fabulous as fuck.

[–] odelik@lemmy.today 79 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I snorted my coffee reading this.

A secret service officer, trying to explain the general confusion, just sighed. “Nobody knows what’s going on.”

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[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 60 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Here's the thing, they weren't all leftists. That was the beauty of the "No Kings" moniker, it encompassed all of the people pissed off. That includes a shit ton of republicans.

As she and the other leftists marched, a young man, bare chested and wearing a bucket hat, approached a demonstration marshal. He seemed confused. He wanted to know where the protest for the opposite point of view could be found.

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That includes a shit ton of republicans.

In absolute numbers, maybe, but in proportional terms, I'd caution against thinking like that. The vast majority of Republicans remain in lockstep behind their Dear Leader.

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[–] Nightwingdragon@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"Kind of lame"?

We didn't have our service members proudly marching in lockstep. It was a bunch of old people that could barely keep formation, "marching" (and I use that term loosely) as if they just walked out of the bar and into their first day of basic training after being drafted.

Our "show of military strength" was a couple of old tanks creaking down the road, sounding like they were Ford Model Ts from the 1920s.

There was no music or marching band or anything for the parade to make its way through. There was no crowd to cheer them on; it was just dead silence. My daughter's high school graduation had better attendance and a more enthusiastic crowd.

Not that this should be a surprise to anyone at this point, but we looked like a laughing stock on the world stage. If that parade showed off the best that the US military had to offer, our military will never be taken seriously again. Seriously. A bunch of old people and a couple of tanks that were older than they were. That's what Trump gave. I've seen those carnivals that pop up from time to time in mall parking lots that had all the rigged games and unsafe rides, and they were still both cheaper than Trump's parade and more entertaining.

I expected Trump's parade to be a dud, but even he outdid himself with how bad that so-called parade was. Take out all the people that were forced to attend for whatever reason, and the people who attended could probably fit in a phone booth.

[–] redsand@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That's with as many people as they could pay $1000 and some fast food to attend.

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[–] rottingleaf@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Ah ... As someone with clearly different expectations (living in Russia) I'd say everything except being unable to march in lockstep and showing Coinbase ads was kinda fine, the big costume show in Russian parades doesn't really cause any feeling of reverence and such.

US military doesn't have to show anything big on parades, because it, ahem, has modern jets, nukes, air carriers in bigger numbers than some countries have infantry vehicles.

Probably a military ceremony should be organized better, but ... it's a theater anyway. A kind of that falling out of relevance, too.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 54 points 1 week ago (9 children)

A tent managed by a beverage company handed out room-temperature bottles of an energy drink, Phorm. The flavor, called Screamin’ Freedom, tasted like hard candies dissolved in water, and an advisory on the cans warned that they were not to be consumed by minors or pregnant women.

If we saw this in a movie, we would laugh at how overly top unreal it was.

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Brawndo

The thirst mutilator

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

It's got electrolytes!

[–] PodPerson@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

PHORM. It's what facism craves!

[–] toast@retrolemmy.com 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Brawndo, it's got what the body craves.

The flavor, called Screamin’ Freedom, tasted like hard candies dissolved in water

This is ridiculous. Room-temperature energy drinks are supposed to taste like cough syrup.

[–] ExtantHuman@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

Pretty sure that warning is on a most heavily caffeinated energy drinks

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[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 50 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I had the misfortune of hearing the opinions of some conservative family on the matter on Father's Day.

It was the best thing since sliced bread, apparently, and Trump "deserved" it because "it's his birthday", while "no one" showed up for the No Kings protests.

Don't ever be fooled into thinking that a lackluster performance will disappoint his fans.

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's what the media is telling them. Fox in particular, but the networks have been downplaying No Kings.

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[–] rayyy@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

June 4 from now on will be known as "NO KINGS" day .
The delusional right might ignore the massive protests but the tide is turning, they will disavowal their allegiances to the orange Krasnov.

[–] SereneSadie@lemmy.myserv.one 5 points 1 week ago

Seems like a no-show is called for then.

Fascists and their sympathisers deserve to be isolated.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

The American military doesn't train to put on parade theatre for a despot. No high stepping, no elaborate formations or movements. None of that pointless bullshit. If you see a military parade from NK or China achieving dazzling perfect performances, while impressive, that's all it is; a visual performance. All they do is practice for those events. Those are not uniforms. They're costumes. Those are not soldiers. They're a dance troupe. These are completely different skillsets. Soldiers don't need to know how to dance perfectly in formation. They storm the objective, execute the mission, and get the fuck out. You might as well send a marching band into combat, because that's all they would become.

It's funny how they want to force the US military into performing flamboyant pageantry, while also kicking out the gays.

[–] falcunculus@jlai.lu 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The American military doesn't train to put on parade theatre for a despot. No high stepping, no elaborate formations or movements. None of that pointless bullshi

Marines doing the silent drill in dress uniform : 👀

[–] AnalogNotDigital@lemmy.wtf 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's like 20 dudes though who's entire job is drill and ceremonies, though.

The guys marching in this parade looked like they were forced on a group walk, and none of them looked like they wanted to be there.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 5 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Marching in step is basic training stuff. They know how to do it if they want to. The fact that they didn't is very important.

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[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thats all nice what you said but its far more likely the members of the army just didnt care as much rather than they are incapable of marching in unison.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

I know this from experience. Perfect formation marching must be drilled constantly. The US military does not waste its time with it because it is useless beyond Basic Training.

I agree that they clearly didn't want to be at his stupid little parade. Yes, they half-assed it. It just blows my mind that Trump clearly expected pageantry when our military has never once put on such a show.

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[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Due to my interest in military hardware I watched the live stream by LazerPig, and the parade was absolutely garbage. Sure, they showed the Sherman, but no SPAA or engineering vehicles. They showed the Abrams and the Bradley, but nothing between that and WW2. There was so much objectively cool stuff they could've shown off, but it seemed they put no effort in it beyond pleasing the chief cheeto.

The Russian parade was also a disappointment, but the ones with actual quality hardware managed to be even more disappointing.

Fascists make everything worse. Even the thing they claim to be good at. Fucking clownshow.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Don't forget Tr*mp Wine. I wouldn't drink his overpriced plonk if it were the last alcohol on the planet.

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[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

Worthless traitor cunt.

[–] mcv@lemm.ee 20 points 1 week ago

I see the lackluster parade as a victory for democracy. Democracies don't have massive goose-stepping parades in glory of their dear leader. That's a fascist dictator thing, and surely what Trump wanted, but what he got was the kind of parade that you get in a democracy where the military exists for defense rather than tue glorification of the generalissimo.

Well done, military peeps.

[–] SpaceShort@feddit.uk 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The half heartedness of the military in this parade suggests that they will be half hearted in their enforcement of the regime too. This would make it much easier to resist and overthrow the regime (or at least enforce rule by mass civil disobedience) as large sections of the military are likely to make only a token effort to suppress it.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yes! I think that's a very important hint. These guys know how to march in step. It's drilled in to them from day one in the military. They didn't do it, and their commanding officers aren't making them do it.

I'll probably be accused of being an optimist again, but I think June 14 is when we started winning. That comes from multiple angles.

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[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago

You know that Trump just told the generals to have 'a parade.'

Kim or Putin would know exactly which tanks and units he wanted, would have specified how many flyovers, and sweated all the details.

[–] aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 week ago

yup. this is how we save money! By putting on a pointless fucking parade to stroke his fucking ego.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)
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The parade was also afflicted with bone spurs.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 week ago

I always enjoy a feel-good story.

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Much like everything else he touches. he's like king Midas, but with shit.

[–] Saffire@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 week ago

King Mierdas.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Captain Bonespurs says march more stiffly like the North Korean army.

[–] roofTophopper@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Man, I sure hope he went home and realized how much of a fucking loser he is. You know he won't though. In his head it was fantasy land North Korea type spectacle. They'll have some post about how it was bigly and bester than any other parade and how there just have been a million people in attendance with sold out tickets.

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