Can you do something about the... gestures vaguely at everything?
this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2025
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Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:
Γhanks!
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Okay, let's try this.
Every single human being, gradually, develops empathy and awareness to how their choices affects themselves and others.
This is to happen over a period of a year and will not lead people to despair but to understand the poor choices they have made throughout their lives and lead them to live better lives, with no malice arbored towards others and themselves.
This effect will include the granter of this wish.
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Could you dissapear all the facisim thats popping up everywhere? That would be super.
The fascism is now undetectable to the vast majority but still happening behind the scenes:
Whenever someone attempts to make a golf swing, change the friction coeficcient of the grip to zero.
Sure, there is a period of turmoil on golf courses around the globe. Shenanigans ensue. Eventually, people switch to croquet and disk golf:
Mission accomplished.
I'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a double chili kelp fries.
Daring today, aren't we:
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Let’s try making Karma a real universal force
Good one! Your wish has been granted (but in an alternate universe). After a period of turmoil, the citizens of Earth C-132 create a utopic society:
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5 acres of woodland in the Appalachian Mountains. With a small house on it. Could be 1 room like an old style cabin.
I wanna leave all the bullshit behind. Raise a garden and maybe a few goats and chickens.
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This is a small one, but can you please make it so that all menu descriptions actually list all the major dish components so I'm never surprised by secret onions or mustard again?
Edit: oh no I've been reading your monkey's paw responses.... You're gonna make restaurants disclose everything clearly but ensure that onions and mustard are in every dish from now on, aren't you?
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Gender changing potion
Here you go. These are gender-fluids. Once ingested, someone who identifies as either a man or a woman will now identify as gender-fluid. (Does not come with physical changes):
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One (1) fall of capitalism please
You got it. Post apocalyptic scenario ends all forms of investment and monetary exchange. We go back to the barter system:
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You’ve done more than enough, my child. Get yourself something nice.
𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢.
I conjure myself up some tea.... it verges on the cusp of excessive lemon.
Hello wise one,
I find the Earth's gravity of 9.80665m/s² a bit much. Sometimes my back hurts from standing too long, and the general weight of existence sits heavy on my shoulders.
Can you make it a bit more comfortable please. Maybe 9.80664?
You find yourself suddenly 3 meters up in the air, which is sufficient to change your personal gravitational acceleration by 0.00001 m/s^2. As you can imagine, it is not fun to fall 3 meters. You do anyway. (Alternatively, the mass of every human-made object on the planet gets deleted into the ether, reducing the total mass of earth, but that's not the simplest solution)
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A pillow with the perfect height and that doesn't flatten after a week of use.
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Everybody's got to fart loudly once a day in front of people.
Uh, sure? Everyone must fart loudly once a day in front of people OR THEY WILL DIE. (I have made it so that everyone is aware of the aliment.) On the bright side, the social taboo around flatulence goes away:
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