this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] fargeol@lemmy.world 67 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh, that explains why they don't drive cars

[–] dwemthy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

We must figure out what other human laws chimpanzees respect

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Goddamn they live better than us in every way

[–] PanGodofPanic@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Chimps, not so much. Their society is exceedingly violent and hierarchical. Bonobos (equally close human relative in the other side of the Congo River) on the other hand, they have shit figured out.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Arguably my comment is funnier if you know anything about great apes

[–] BzzBiotch@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago

Me too, chimpsan. Me too

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

I mean, can you blame them?

Another point on the 'return to monke' scale.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 11 points 2 weeks ago

Hell yeah, let's party.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I know we evolved to handle ethanol, but thought it was a recent thing, since the invention of beer. Weird.

Yes, I understand we didn't evolve from chimps.

[–] dantheclamman@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the ability to metabolize ethanol with alcohol dehydrogenase is a separate, more recent thing. But a lot of the tree of life gets buzzed in various ways! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recreational_drug_use_in_animals

[–] Hector@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Ratatoskr the squirrel on the tree of life drank the mead of wisdom.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Going to a chimp-only AA meeting really hits different.

[–] Adori@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If these primates have the same ability to drink as humans do, then they must have the same ability to drive a we do.

[–] 01189998819991197253 1 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, drive each other bananas!

I'll see myself out...

[–] ScrollerBall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] Una@piefed.europe.pub 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Based :3 good uncle

[–] Solumbran@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The difference being that they don't know it's a poison.

[–] Geth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

I think a bunch of chimps downvoted you.

[–] Hector@lemmy.world -5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Alcohol is not poison. Methanol is.

[–] dickalan@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bro ethanol alcohol is absolutely a poison. It’s just not a very good one