I would want to be friends with every character in this fictional story.
this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
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I wouldn't, because Starbucks. There's 100% a superior hipster/indie/whatever appropriate gender coffee shop within 2-3 blocks. Very possibly right next door. Why are you okay with burnt espresso?
They cover the burnt flavour with a quart of sugar, syrups, and creams so you don't even taste the coffee- Oh, wait second...
No, at $4500 a cup, I'm sure it's the best.
It's actually kinda the other way around. My uncle lived in Seattle for years, and he told me he ran into some Starbucks executive once. He asked about the burnt coffee, and they told him it was intentional so you could still taste "coffee" through all the sugar, syrups, and creams.
In fairness.... and I hate myself for saying this... their blonde bean isn't half bad!
Thankfully, they do blonde Nespresso pods so happy days. I know Nespresso have their own evils but one step at a time, eh?
Thankfully there's a local chain near where I live that is expensive as fuck but at least does better coffee. At least that's how I justify nearly remortgaging for each latte these days.
I have a dreading feeling that Nespresso is owned by Nestle, along with contributing to the single-use waste that is needlessly polluting
pods
Come on, have some self-respect. Literally just pouring hot water into a cup with some coffee, then pouring off the coffee 5 minutes later makes better coffee than that.
There isn't around me. They used to be but he had to close down because it turned out he wasn't paying for all of his electricity (somehow the electrical company were only billing him for a quarter of what he was actually using) when they amended the bill it was pretty obviously unaffordable.
The rent is ridiculous because it's in the commuter belt for a major city even though the town itself is kind of a dump.
So all I have is the option of Starbucks or driving like 25 minutes into the city and trying to find something there.
People on Lemmy don't seem to remember that rural landscapes exist where stuff like this isn't true. And people on Lemmy are somehow even more up their own ass than redditors, jfc
Because people need their coffee flavored milkshakes, ok?
And you're gate keeping coffee if you dare to suggest otherwise, ok?
And also you are not allowed to tell anyone that they have a morning milkshake addiction, okkkk????
I bought an espresso machine becuase that is absolutely not true. I hate Starbucks with a passion, but every other "hipster" coffee place is even more expensive and you get absolutely crap coffee. And there aren't as many around as people make it out to be.
This specific story may be fictional but it is 100% plausible at the Seattle Broadway location.
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For folks not believing: I have totally done shit like this. At a state fair and my fiancé didn't want to ride the ferris wheel. I overheard another couple who was having the same conversation so I ran over to the guy and asked him if he'd ride the ferris wheel with me. He said yes, we held hands and skipped down the road to get in line. Had a great time and took selfies together to send back to our partners.
Great start for swinger lifestyle 😏🤭
And then you fucked in the Ferris wheel and everyone clapped as they saw you in the sky.
/s
This isn't actually unbelievable, I'm just being silly.
The particular story may be fake, but 100% these things happen.
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And everybody is complaining how LLMs hallucinate all the time.
I could see this happening in Europe or Scandinavia where everyone is a lot less uptight than they are in the US. Hell even Canada.
I've been told half of Scandinavia will straight up stab you for approaching them like this
You have been told correctly.
Never been to Scandinavia have you? Those are low contact cultures with large personal spaces. Most Scandis would never let a stranger hold their hand.
Estonian not Scandinavian here, but we were hella mad when we had to social distance at 2 meters. What a huge relief it was to go back to the usual 5 meters when those rules went away.
Yeah, more Spain/Italy, maybe Switzerland and France too. Austria; less likely. Germany and upwards; nope.
Switzerland? In the French or Italien speaking parts maybe. The German speaking part is more like Germany with less bureaucracy.
No, we are a bit more, um, easygoing? forgiving? What with Ticino in the country and compromise being a core tenet. And there are far more foreign students/workers and tourists here. Ok, you can include Austria too.
No caffeine junkie is that clever before they've had their morning fix. Now, if everyone in the story spoke only in groans and unintelligible zombie noises, it'd be a little more believable.
I've never understood people with that attitude. I like caffeine, it makes me feel good, but it never felt unable to function if I haven't been able to have it. If you're not getting enough sleep caffeine won't fix that. It's not magic rest juice, it just gives you temporary energy but you'll pay that back when the caffeine wears off.
You have a healthier relationship with caffeine and sleep than many do. That's the simple truth of it. You could be a caffeine craving zombie too, just get less sleep and drink more coffee.
it just gives you temporary energy but you'll pay that back when the caffeine wears off.
Problems sometimes arrive with their solution in hand.
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And then everyone clapped
They all fucked hard?
Clapped cheeks
They at least got all frappuccinos
Only two, as far as I can tell.
Man, I've been there. You get locked into the bit over awkward indecision on whether to stop, flee the scene or keep going but you're already in motion so you keep going by default.
Something something random act of genuine kindness
Something something male physical touch
I’m upset because we never find out what exactly was crazy.
Tons of people in line.
Cool story bro
And then everyone clapped?
Cheeks, yes
Y’all don’t know enough theatre folks. We will always commit to a bit for a laugh.
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YES. I love this stupid copypasta. I quote parts of it all the time and nobody ever knows what I'm talking about.
If this happened, this right here is the kind of commitment to the bit that I want to strive to match.
This is some obnoxiously fake quirky shit
I really love this !
That man's name? Albert Einstein.
now that’s THE play
I haven’t laughed this hard in a while… damn 🤣
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