this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2025
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[–] Quexotic 3 points 2 days ago

I have a pretty common name. A Google search of it reveals all sorts of crimes.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 57 points 4 days ago

So now open communication is a bad thing!? I swear I can't win.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 63 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Meanwhile after his release, Luigi will be absolutely swimming in pussay

[–] infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net 39 points 4 days ago

Yeah cause he's an innocent hunk who never murdered anyone

[–] webp@mander.xyz 14 points 4 days ago

Pussay and dick

[–] regdog@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

He might even get murdered (drowned) in pussy. Wouldn't that be ironic?

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[–] Acklavidian@lemmy.world 86 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Was it felony murder or real murder tho?

[–] Natanox@discuss.tchncs.de 99 points 5 days ago (5 children)

I just learned about that bullshit and what the fuck, you US citizens really got a lot of bullshit ways to raise your numbers of legal slaves.

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I agree with it as a concept. If you and 3 buddies go to rob a bank armed and someone dies as a result of that you're just as responsible as the one that pulled the trigger

But like all laws in America it is then interpreted in the most insane ways possible and then used more frequently against minorities.

[–] regdog@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

The land of the free, also also the largest prison population in the world.

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 days ago (3 children)

the concept is okay, even good, I would say. if somebody does as a direct consequence of your actions, well, you murdered them — but that requires some nuance and work to determine how "direct".

but the implementation, oh boy, that's classic police state america

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[–] Zink@programming.dev 5 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

USian here and I remember knowing about this for most of my life, but I never looked into its origins. I still haven't, and right now I don't care to.

But holy shit does it feel like racism must have played a role.

edit to add: I ALSO remember on and after the Jan 6 insurriot how it seemed like hundreds of those people should be going down for felony murder. Funny how that didn't happen.

[–] runner_g@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I assume you also watched last week's Last Week Tonight?

And yeah, we get fucked by the system 8 ways to Sunday.

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[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 16 points 5 days ago (3 children)
[–] zurohki@aussie.zone 41 points 5 days ago (10 children)

IIRC there's some situations where you're considered responsible if anybody dies. So if you break into a house to steal something and the homeowner hears you, runs down the stairs, trips and breaks their neck it counts as if you murdered them.

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 75 points 5 days ago (2 children)

It gets worse. One guy went to prison for felony murder because the police shot and killed his fellow burglar. Another got a life sentence without parole for lending his car keys to his roommate, who then used the car to commit a burglary where someone was killed. John Oliver did a segment on this not too long ago.

And this is why you never never never snitch.

It's like firing a cannon into a crowded building. Maybe it hits the person you're aiming at, but how much collateral damage will you do?

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 18 points 5 days ago

What. The. Fuck. I'm literally speechless.

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[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You and your friends are running a marijuana grow op. The police break down the door. One of them sees your friend reaching for something (their phone) and shoots them dead. That person died in the commission of a felony (marijuana growing) that you were part of. You can now face life imprisonment for felony murder. In some states, this can actually happen.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So, me? Not the officer (assuming he wasn't reaching for a gun)?

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Yes, you will be the one charged. Someone died while you were committing a felony (growing marijuana.) The police can literally shoot your friend and then charge you with felony murder for their death.

[–] Acklavidian@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago

The most recent episode of Last Week Tonight talks about it https://youtu.be/Y93ljB7sfco

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 11 points 5 days ago

fellatio murder!?

[–] Fenrisulfir@lemmy.ca 31 points 4 days ago (1 children)

So honesty is very important to him

It's a keeper.

[–] halvar@lemy.lol 40 points 5 days ago (1 children)

isnt the dude not being a murderer a bit much to ask for in 2025?

[–] regdog@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago (4 children)

It might even work against her odds, because if you are a good looking murderer, you will get a lot of fan mail in prison from people who can't wait to meet you 😍

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[–] morphballganon@mtgzone.com 49 points 5 days ago

Well at least he's honest

[–] Rose_Thorne@lemmy.zip 41 points 5 days ago (2 children)

If it's a common enough name combo, always double check.

My dead name was a very common one. The amount of random news articles that would pop up. I don't think I ever found a murderer, but a number of other crimes did pop up.

[–] nagaram@startrek.website 3 points 3 days ago

My family name is pretty uncommon outside of mexico and when you googled my dads name the top result used to he an obituary of another man with the same name, birthday, same KIDS name, same time served in the army, and same job as a truck driver.

Only difference is he was from southern California.

Also turns out we were kin as my great grand father was addicted to traveling the country and making babies.

[–] smh@slrpnk.net 13 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I have an uncommon birth name. My only known name doppelganger has a high prestige job and has started over taking me in search results. I'm happy to finally be a bit less Google-able.

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[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 43 points 5 days ago

You commit one murder and the dating scene won’t let you live it down

[–] sobchak@programming.dev 20 points 5 days ago

My grandparent's neighbor and friend was a murderer. Really nice guy. Us kids used to call him Santa because of his long grey beard. I mean, he likely wasn't nice when he committed murder, but I'm guessing he aged-out of his violent tendencies.

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 23 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Honey, you Gotta get better at spotting cameras. But thats for later. Plastic sheeting first.

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[–] 474D@lemmy.world 26 points 5 days ago

He specifically asked to ignore that

[–] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Hozerkiller@lemmy.ca 17 points 4 days ago

He killed his ex for being obsessed with his past.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 18 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I worked a couple decades ago with a guy in his 50's who was legit, by his parents, named "Dale Gribble"

Names are used by many people

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[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 days ago

So. Did you ignore it?

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 12 points 5 days ago

tfw: Someone with the same name tanked your SEO

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