Bang! Bang!
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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I only use this kind of hammers.
As long as they aren't from Dnepropetrovsk I'm cool with it
In the beginning, there was life and it was good. Then came the hammer and it's been shit ever since. Our best philosophers are deeply divided: those who think we never should have left the trees (return to monke) and those who think we never should have left the oceans. (return to crab)
Stop ✋
...Hammer Time! 🦀
As an American I can say the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a hammer is a good guy with a hammer.
As an European I'll just refer to the statistics on hammer murders and the differences between hammer city, USA and Peaceburg, Anywhere Europe. Again.
I won’t date anyone who uses dihydrogen monoxide on a regular basis
I had some of that at an extremely early age. Addicted ever since. I still can't go a day without it without feeling terrible.
I prefer to date fellas who be swinging hammer. 😏
Date someone with a hammer and you might get nailed.
You want to date someone with an impact driver and you'll get screwed.
All I've got is this hammer drill
A girl's gotta have standards
Love can wait. Safety first.
Does that mean you won't see a doctor?
Famously they use those little rubber hammers on people's knees
Doctors are trained in using them safely, and in a way that benefits the public. That could make a difference.
Well, that leaves anyone in a trade out of the dating pool then because most of them, eg. in the carpentry field, use hammers of some kind and in some way.
As a mechanic with about 10 hammers, guess I’m out.
I have ethical concerns about this.
Maybe we could hammer out an agreement.
Can confirm. I work on industrial equipment. Sometimes you just gotta hit it with a hammer.
I can also confirm. I write software for a living. A hammer is a must-have.
I’m curious on data regarding hammer related deaths. It’s really hard to kill yourself with a hammer.
I knew a hammerhead shark once, it was actually very kind and considerate, even when hammering. I think humans will probably evolve into responsible hammer users in a few thousand generations or so. It's just a matter of practice.
Hammerhead sharks are unironically one of the coolest animals in existence
Gee I've never seen this argued before. By golly you've cracked the code. Checkmate!!
If hammers were only useful for hurting people, yes, yes I would.
What is its MC Hammer?