this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 152 points 1 week ago (5 children)

First one: i analyse sales.

Second one: i automate production

Third one: i'm a fucking idiot

[–] ApertureUA@lemmy.today 26 points 1 week ago (4 children)
  1. I
  2. Am
  3. A
  4. Fucking
  5. Idiot

It doesn't fit

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (3 children)
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[–] _lilith@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

well the job is BS so...

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[–] Vellaides@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Fourth one: I murder living beings so humans can eat their mutilated corpses

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[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 82 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I write code

(It's still a bullshit job)

[–] Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social 70 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Quokka@quokk.au 45 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 68 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

3 people above the fisherman:

  • sales analyst
  • automation technician
  • software engineer

Fisherman:

  • I operate a decentralized, sustainability-focused aquatic-resource acquisition methodology utilizing precision-guided line-and-lure interface systems to facilitate targeted biomass retrieval.
[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I think the meme is saying that if you know your job is bullshit, you obfuscate what you do behind a thick layer of corpospeak.

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[–] drath@lemmy.world 56 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 44 points 1 week ago

Nice to see you here Mr. President.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 17 points 1 week ago

Ah, it's nice to meet another fellow customer service rep.

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Is this really the message we want to send?

Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That's because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution. That is not the fault of the people who have bullshit jobs.

And no, I won't accept "this is just a shitposting sub, lighten up" as a response. This is just another form of kicking down, and it isn't funny. The working class needs solidarity, not this.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

When I first saw this (maybe years ago), it was posted on sites to mock this thinking.

Yeah, someone believes it to have made this. But yeah, that person sucks.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Agreed, but I refuse to extend that acceptance to most consultants.

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[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I write code. ✔️ Real job.

I chop down trees. ❌ Bullshit job.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Is this a war on being specific?

If a fisherman says "I operate the winch on a bowpicker tuna fishing boat", is that a bullshit job?

If a middle-management yes-man who exists only to fluff his boss' ego describes his job as "I encourage excellence" does that mean his job is no longer bullshit?

[–] alyth@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

"I encourage excellence" - Chef Excellence

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[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago

So I either have a bullshit job "I design chips for isosychronous low-latency networks" or a real job "I herd electrons"...

[–] Novamdomum@fedia.io 28 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Extreme physical danger of drowning, hypothermia, severe injury, insane hours, unpredictable income, huge mental and emotional stress in an industry that often damages the environment and is plagued with human rights abuses?

This comic feels like it was written by the fisherman.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Or one of those boomers, who really wanted AI to replace all the intellectual workers, so they either can be stay-at-home mothers or go to "real manly jobs".

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[–] real_squids@sopuli.xyz 25 points 1 week ago
[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I am an aquatic resource acquisition specialist leveraging distributed ecosystem monitoring, real-time biological signal analytics, and manual-mechanical retrieval interfaces to optimize biomass extraction.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago
[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

"I hate it". Does this count?

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Can confirm this works, since fullstack is a real job, but I can’t describe my frontend bullshit in 3 words.

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[–] HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 15 points 1 week ago

I make art.

^ real job.

I get disability benefit trapping me in dependence on the system under threat of impoverishment, destitution, starvation, freezing, if i dare ever attempt to do anything productive, or even look like it, or even not. Paid to do nothing.

^ real bullshit job.

Oh what a great system you have there. >:[

Make missiles hit.

[–] Limonene@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"Refrigerator Wifi Firmware"

3 words, but my job is still bullshit.

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[–] myotheraccount@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 13 points 1 week ago

Generate shareholder value

[–] Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My job is bullshit, but my job is not who I am.

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[–] Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems."

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[–] ethaver@kbin.earth 10 points 1 week ago

Refreshments and Narcotics

(an old joke about registered nurses)

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

OPs has distilled his job title from 'political agitation meme technician' to 'shitposter'.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (9 children)

Saying "I catch fish" is as descriptive as the first guy saying "sales analyst". Second person is a software developer, third guy is a systems architect. So you catch fish? Sure. What kind? On a river? In the ocean? Do you really just press a button that rolls up a big net full of turtles and dolphins as well and you're destroying the delicate balance of a fragile ecosystem? Are you a fishing guide?

Anyone can describe their job in three words. Understanding it is on you, man.

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[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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I fix things.

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