this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 66 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] notreallyhere@lemmy.world 36 points 2 weeks ago

no. this makes complete sense.

[–] Hozerkiller@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 week ago

It's because goblin slayer is about a guy slaying just goblins.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the British put tomato sauce in their canned beans.

[–] GandalftheBlack@feddit.org 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah, the commercially available baked beans (not baked) are in a horrible sweet tomato sauce. I haven't eaten any in a long time.

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[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 44 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Is this a metaphor I'm not recognizing?

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's a metaphor for entitled Karens

[–] SantasMagicalComfort@piefed.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why did you say Karens twice?

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 8 points 2 weeks ago

Sahara desert.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, it's a response to someone complaining that you only kill Goblins in the game Goblin Slayer

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

So not no, but actually yes

[–] AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Fake: one can is surely not a bit too many beans

Gay: My gay friends eat beans. Anon eats beans. Ergo, anon is gay. QED.


Edit: My roommate, who is pansexual, says I should have said anon is pan β€œbecause you can put beans in a pan” …I think we might both just be very sleep deprived because, rereading this, I’m not sure either joke is actually funny at all but we’re cracking up lol

[–] coherent_domain 6 points 2 weeks ago

You can also put tomato and salad in a pan, but there is no tomato and salad, and that is sad.

no no no, you're right that's a good joke

The fakeness and gayness test is always mandatory, don't worry about funniness

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Am I too normal to understand this?

According to another comment this was in response to someone complaining that Goblin Slayer only has Goblins and no other monsters.

So Anon "Bought a Can of Beans" by watching an anime about a guy called the Goblin Slayer, and is mad that there "Wasn't any salad in the Can of Beans," because all he does is... Slay Goblins.

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[–] Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

It's a mad world.

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 weeks ago

i hope anon takes their meds :(

[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

>Anon buys a can of beans.
> It comes with AI.

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