Ask Lemmy

My mom can swim and my girlfriend doesn't exist

First, the most honest answer is that it's a shitty question. This 'Sophie's Choice' promise is inherently designed to disrespect someone. In real life, you just react and try to save both, most likely based on who is a better swimmer, is closer, etc.

But the question between who you prioritize is valid. The answer is subjective, of course, but my advice would be that you prioritize your mother over a casual girlfriend/bf, but you prioritize a finance or spouse over your mother. And this isn't hard to explain to Mom. I did. I said, "Hey Mom: remember how Dad always put Grandma in front of you because he was such a wimp, and it made you feel absolutely terrible? Well good news: you raised a better man than she did."

She didn't love it, but she got it. And she respected it.

If my mom asked it, my response would be my girlfriend. If my girlfriend asked it, id say save my mom. If they both asked it, I'd get a beer at the bar and let them both drown. Cause fuck you if you're going to play those kinds of games with me.

"The one who sucks the dick makes the rules"

I hate my biological mother and I never have a girlfriend.

To answer your question if my mother asked me this my response would be, "Stop calling me you filthy junkie."

“Mom, I never would have expected you to ask such a mean question.”

I'd answer by saying I'll first save whichever one doesn't ask me questions like this.

Pshhh, easy. Same person.

My mom would probably be very angry if I choose to save her over my wife.

My wife can swim ten times better then me tho, so she probably ends up saving both my mom and me

Those philosophical dilemma questions (basically always some variation of the trolley problem) have almost no practical relevance. Situations like that practically never happen in real life and if they do, you won't have time for moral or philosophical reflections.

I don't have a partner and I'm a PADI certified rescue diver.

If I see my mother drowning I'm going to hang around until I'm sure she's fully dead.

I don’t answer those questions.

Mom. I can always get a new girlfriend.

My mom is dead though, so the girlfriend.

I don't have a girlfriend though, so I guess I'll just drown myself.

Ask mum if she'd prefer to drown or survive but you drown while saving her.

I inherently care more about someone I chose to make part of my family than I do either of my parents.

Bye Mom.

Any practical situation would have ameliorating factors that would make one sequencing saving one over the other first the most likely order for saving both; obviously, I would choose that one.

My mom wouldn't ask because she knows I wouldn't choose her.

However if she did ask my response would just be laughter because is such a dumb question.

I would absolutely save my wife first. Now, do I actually have to save the second person?

I would choose my wife since my mother could use some rehydration. One could say she is a little ashy.

I would probably be paralyzed due to the situation and choice I have to make and they would both drown until I actually start moving.

I've heard this one before and I've heard that the "correct" answer is to save your mother because "you can always get another wife but you can never get another mother."

I've also heard that the answer to this (originally Chinese) question is indicative of cultural values (filial piety like you say) but I wonder how differently people would answer in a wide survey... If my mom asked me, I would choose my mom because I don't have a wife.

Easy! My mom, no question!

Being single make this a simple decision.

Let them both drown, that's the only way they'll learn

It is easy for me to answer, my mom is old. My wife can probably tread water while I get my mom to shore.

I told my wife this and she replied that she is a strong, independent woman who can swim perfectly well on her own. The right answer is that I should grab my mom and start bringing her towards the shore while my wife swims ahead and helps me pull her in once we get to shallower water.

The only correct answer to these gotcha questions is "id die doing/saving both"

I'm not a very good swimmer... which one looks more buoyant?

I’d save the one who didn’t ask me no-win riddles.

Is jumping in so I can drown too an acceptable answer?

I know my mom can swim, but my wife cannot. So, I'd save my wife.

If my mom asked I would say her, but this is a f-ed up question to ask someone.

I've never been asked that... but my mother's lived a full life.

The real question here is whether anyone was in a situation where he needed to choose between saving a gf or mother.

Have you heard of bridge statements? I got to know about them when dealing with negative self talk. I was told not to jump right into the "I'm handsome" part just when I have a thought of being ugly, but to make it less radical, like "maybe I'm not the ugliest man in the city".

I think the question functions in a similar way. When you are prompted with this question by your mother, you basically are expected to answer "mother". Fast forward to when you move your well planned proposal to your gf in order to help your mother with her garden.

The correct answer is that my mom can swim like a shark and my girlfriend can’t swim to save anyone’s life.

I'd save my wife, and my mom would absolutely want me to.

No. My wife doesn't ask bullshit questions just to start arguments out of insecurity. And my mother is dead. No, she did not drown.

It's a trap!